Thursday, December 21, 2006

Jennifer Connelly and BiskutNaga On Set


A slightly tubby Ozi BiskutNaga and a crying Jennifer Connelly filming scenes from the movie Reservation Road. Filmstalker.com gives this description of the movie:

“It’s about a college professor whose 10 year old son is killed in a hit and run accident, who then goes on a desperate search for the driver of the car. In the other corner is the driver, a self loathing, deeply damaged man who’s torn between turning himself in for the crime and saving his own hide.”

At first glance, you would think the creepy little girl in these pictures was Dakota Fanning, but it turns out to be her baby sister, Elle. Not another Fanning!?
Yup, one seems to be not enough for Hollywood.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Mozilla FireFox's New Logo


This new logo will take them to number one as the most used browser on the Internet. Kicking Microsoft's Internet Explorer off first place, finally.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Betty or Veronica?

Since I'm on a roll with this whole 'this or that' theme, I will continue with one more of life's little questions. From the famed Archie comics series, Betty and Veronica chronicles the age old love triangle story between these three characters. Since 1944, Betty and Veronica have dueled one another within a High School web of intrigue and romance, with the affections of Archie as the grand prize. They have each had their share of victories and defeats, but 54 years and countless comics later, the question of Who Lands Archie has yet to be resolved.

There is even a syndrome. According to Wikipedia, Betty and Veronica syndrome is a term used in comics, television series and movies for when the protagonist has two potential romantic interests, thus assuring that neither relationship will come to full fruition without the protagonist having to choose one or the other. Essentially you have Betty Cooper who is the sweet blonde wholesome hometown "girl next door," in contrast to the brunette Veronica Lodge, a spoiled, rich, and often selfish only child.

Now I'm sure we have all had this type of dilemma once our lives. Who do you choose between these two kinds of girls? That is, if in fact, you are one of those lucky bastards like Archie, where you have two women who think you are everything and are willing to compete for your attention. Not to mention, they happen to be best friends themselves.


Anyway, clearly Vernoica is the hotter, more sexy, and has more money kind. But because of this, you will have to deal with the tantrums and arroggant snobby behavior as well. If you are ok with being a doormat, then the high society lifestyle that comes with a girl like this, might be enough to compensate for the lack of substance. There is always that foolish hope that you can someday change her. This is unlikely however. The only thing left is the sex and the money. If both are free flowing and good then by all means put up with the all the other crap.

Betty now is the kind of girl that you've known all your life living next door. She knows you and is someone you can talk your problems with. She will play any sport or video game with you and probably beat you. She doesn't spend as much time in front of the mirror nor does she go to a Hair Saloon. She probably wears 'normal' clothes and thinks nothing of it. But make no mistake, the potential of her looking hot is there. She doesn't have the financial backing of daddy, but at least a date to McDonalds won't piss her off and put a hole in your pocket. If all else fails, she can cook you dinner.
So? Who do you pick? Who is better? To keep it simple, if you want to marry her, pick the Betty type because in the long run she will be better. If marriage is not for you, then if you get a chance, the Veronica type is for you.

But for the ultimate woman, find someone who has a little of both.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Idiotic 25peeps.com

Oh nos! My peep linking to http://jinggez.blogspot.com has been pushed off 25peeps.com. It was online for 1 day and generated 31 juicy clicks to this site.

Got an email saying:
Maybe you managed to enter the hall of fame? Now, don't be sad. Just go to www.25peeps.com and try again. You can add your peep as often as you want. Maybe if you try a different picture, you'll get more clicks. Also, remember that you can also push your peep up the roster by refering others to the site, so don't forget to put a referal link on your website. Go for it!

eeeeeeehhhh No..... go eat shit.
25peeps to my ass.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Generating traffic to my blog via 25peeps.com

I'm finally on 25peeps.com ! Please click the link, and help me stay on as long as possible..... Yahoo!!!

If you click on the link, and you dont see my picture, then don't worry about it..

*shish!*

Saturday, December 02, 2006

The nineth wonder of the world - Toe Jam

I'd like to take this opportunity to discuss the wonder that is Toe Jam. Some of you may not know the term Toe Jam. So I'll tell you. Toe Jam is the small black stuff that gets stuck in corners of your toe nails. What makes this stuff (i.e jam), so interesting is how bad it smells. For the sake of science and discussion, I have gone ahead and made some observations. Normally, I cut my nails while I'm in the bathroom. I can't help but be amazed at how bad Toe Jam smells. I mean you have to wonder how something so small and minute in quantity, smells like death.

You can't help but wonder how many millions upon billions of germ cells it would take, all crammed into a space no bigger than a couple grains of sand, to generate such a smell so sharp and precise. I mean the smell goes up your nostrils and straight to your back of your head, triggering a slight spasm in your spine and your eyes to tear up ever so slightly. Its truely mind boggling. The smell of your own crap, even at its Diarrhea best, never reaches this kind of vapor violence. Some poor bastards have actually reported tasting Toe Jam, saying that the saltyness is an acquired taste. Personally my curiosity is only up to a point. So I can imagine it not being a pleasant taste for sure. So the next time your cut your toe nails, remember what I've said, do yourself a favour, have a whiff. You only live once.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Toyota Football Fever Party

My pals the SoccerGurus have extended me an invite to their year end soccer party, of which I am extending to my readers. So those of you who wanna go, let me know, I'll get that organized for you. Obviously this only applies to my readers in Malaysia. Unless of course, you are mad and fly in from Zimbabwe just to attend. But if that happened, I'm not sure you should attend as you probably are mentally unstable. Anyway here are the details from the email:-

Dude,

Can you get your mates to join in and tuck in to sum fine free food and drinks and supports us in this event. Maybe if u like to post in to your blog? I will need the number of your mates plus names to work on F&B

Toyota Football Fever "Live Viewing"

Time: 7.30pm till late
Date: Saturday 9th Dec 2006

Venue: My Home Bistro's (Formerly known as Cristo's)
Address: 76 Jln 27/70A, Desa Sri Hartamas
50480 Kuala Lumpur (Opposite Project Station)

Attire : Club colors

There will be free food and drinks as well as fun & games and lucky draws. Agenda to be finalized.

Cheers.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

CELGames 2006 equals Loser is Me

Yes thats right, loser. Me.

Serves me right to enter a video game competition and actually expect to win. I need to realize that I am not 16 anymore and video games, well at least at a competition level, is not for me. Needless to say, my two buddies and I, all in our 30's, got handed our asses handed to us by these kids. I never felt more like a old man and a loser than I did on saturday. I actually brought my own special gaming mouse and keyboard, that kids can't even afford. And still I got whipped. At the end of the day, I should just enjoy online gaming from home and relax. Leave the professional gaming to those who are well and truly dedicated to the sport. Here is a picture of us before the start of the Battlefield game. Our faces filled with blind optimism and foolish bravery.



Oh well, I'm going to play golf on my XBOX 360 now, by myself, if you don't mind. Oh ya, just as I'm writing this, one of them 'kids' just messaged me on MSN with a link to his webpage with the results and pictures of the competition. Naturally, he was on the winning team. There was a picture of him holding the winners cheque. I said to him "no need to rub it in". To which he replied "rub?". Meaning he is so young and ignorant, that he has never heard that phrase before. Needless to say I have just blocked and deleted him from my MSN list. Just a perfect end to a crappy weekend. What the fuck.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

XBOX 360 or PS3?


And now I address the issue of XBOX 360 vs PS3. How to choose? Which is better?
Ok, before I say one more thing, you need to know that I just bought the XBOX 360. So what I'm about to say might be to ease the guilt in me and to somewhat justify my recent purchase. It seemed like the logical thing to do seeing as I already own the old XBOX of which I modified it with a 120Gig Hard Drive so I can store all my downloaded movies and stuff. What a wonderful thing the XBOX is.

What attracted me most about the XBOX 360, is the fact that you can play online with your friends on XBOX Live. Now granted, you need to pay a subcription. I think 50US a year is worth it, because you have access to all the latest demos and downloads Microsoft has to offer, plus live streaming media. Now this online component is where I feel that Microsoft has an edge over Sony. Sony has announced, they too will have online gameplay. We will have to see how good it will be.

The next attractive point is the fact that thx XBOX 360 can act as a Multimedia extender. A what extender? A Windows PC running Windows Media Center Edition 2005 can use the Xbox 360 as a "media extender," more commonly known as a media hub. Using the very nice remote control that comes with the 360, the console becomes a TV tuner, allowing gamers to watch, record and playback live TV. The Xbox 360 supports all the major DVR (digital video recorder) features found in so many products on the market-today (this is where the adjective Tivo-like could come into play). In extender mode, the 360 can even stream videos stored on networked computers.

The Xbox 360 also connects to portable devices, ranging from external hard drives to a wide variety of MP3 players, including iPods. All of the basic music navigation tools are available when playing back from these devices, including listings by Artist, Genre, etc. and access to any playlists that have been stored on the device. For music players such as iPod, which charge their internal batteries from USB connections, the Xbox 360 is happy to re-charge your portable device for you.

The PS3 on the other had has always been about a console for serious gamers. But what the hell does that mean anyway. Are you saying XBOX players are pussies? With all the hype about the technology behind the PS3 and Sony's new Blu-Ray Disc, expectations are very high. When the PS2 came out, it blew away the competition with its ground breaking graphics and advance hardware. Sony is looking to again do the same this time.

Now the PS3 has just been released in Japan, now I can tell you that, the queue to buy one was not that long. By no means was it sold out. People just aren't running out to get one just yet. The main reason being is price. The price is not attractive at all. It is three times the price of the XBOX with less additional bits like a headset. Then of course you have about 5 games to choose from one which is Ridge Racer, wow. Don't get me wrong, the teaser trailers for Devil May Cry and Grand Turismo looks mighty tasty, its just that for me, will it justify the price tag. I think we have to wait and see when the second batch of games are released, to know for sure if its the console of choice. Hardcore die-hard PS fans will disagree with me I'm sure.

Honestly, I don't know which is the better console. I'm sure if they were equally priced, the decision would be harder. I would have trouble choosing between the joy of playing Tiger Woods 2007 with my three friends online on XBOX or the joy of completing Metal Gear Solid on PS3. But for now, I think I made the right choice. XBOX is the one. For now.

Stern Review (supplemental post)

As a follow up for the previous post on the Stern Review, check out this flash animation..

http://www.endofworld.net/

you loopy Americans!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

What in the hell is 'The Stern Review'?

In a vain attempt at my blog being more than just mindless crap from me, I present to all my readers, this...
The world has to act now on climate change or face devastating economic consequences, according to a report compiled by Sir Nicholas Stern for the UK government. And hence the name, 'The Stern Review'.
Here are the key points of the review written by the former chief economist of the World Bank.
TEMPERATURE
- Carbon emissions have already pushed up global temperatures by half a degree Celsius
- If no action is taken on emissions, there is more than a 75% chance of global temperatures rising between two and three degrees Celsius over the next 50 years
-There is a 50% chance that average global temperatures could rise by five degrees Celsius

ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT
- Melting glaciers will increase flood risk
- Crop yields will decline, particularly in Africa
- Rising sea levels could leave 200 million people permanently displaced
- Up to 40% of species could face extinction

ECONOMIC IMPACT
- Extreme weather could reduce global gross domestic product (GDP) by up to 1%
- A two to three degrees Celsius rise in temperatures could reduce global economic output by 3%
- If temperatures rise by five degrees Celsius, up to 10% of global output could be lost. The poorest countries would lose more than 10% of their output
- In the worst case scenario global consumption per head would fall 20%
- To stabilise at manageable levels, emissions would need to stabilise in the next 20 years and fall between 1% and 3% after that. This would cost 1% of GDP

OPTIONS FOR CHANGE
- Reduce consumer demand for heavily polluting goods and services
- Make global energy supply more efficient
- Act on non-energy emissions - preventing further deforestation would go a long way towards alleviating this source of carbon emissions
- Promote cleaner energy and transport technology, with non-fossil fuels accounting for 60% of energy output by 2050

GOVERNMENT RESPONSE
- Create a global market for carbon pricing
- Extend the European Emissions Trading Scheme (EETS) globally, bringing in countries such as the US, India and China
- Set new target for EETS to reduce carbon emissions by 30% by 2020 and 60% by 2050
- Pass a bill to enshrine carbon reduction targets and create a new independent body to monitor progress
- Create a new commission to spearhead British company investment in green technology, with the aim of creating 100,000 new jobs
- Former US vice-president Al Gore will advise the government on the issue
- Work with the World Bank and other financial institutions to create a $20bn fund to help poor countries adjust to climate change challenges
- Work with Brazil, Papua New Guinea and Costa Rica to promote sustainable forestry and prevent deforestation
IN SUMMARY... in Jinggez Summary that is, the end of the world is coming soon, whether we like it or not. Try as we might, if successful, we only are prolonging the inevitable. Doom is near. Make no mistake. So make the most of your short time here on this, currently still in excellent shape, Earth.
I'm officially depressed now after reading this. And to those of you who didn't read this and scrolled down here to the end, DAMN YOU, you lazy bastard! Go back to the top and read it, this shit is important.
Thanks to Annonymous for highlighting this to me.
P.S, leaving your name in future comment posts, will ensure your place in Heaven.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Battlefield 2142!

First off I'd like to apologize for the delay in posting, I had a long holiday and went traveling inter-state to my mother's hometown. More than that, the delay was mainly due to my new obsession, Electronic Arts's Battlefield 2142, a multiplayer online futuristic war first-person shooter game. You may have noticed a statistics banner at the bottom of this page. That is my characters statistics for Battlefield 2, EA's 2005 game based on modern day warfare. I've been playing BF2 for a year now and when EA announced a follow up game to BF2, I went mental. I pre-ordered the special edition version that comes in a neat metal box and I got a limited edition mobile phone strap, woo-hoo! Anyway, I've been playing BF2142 every night since, till the wee hours of the morning in a vain attempt to 'level-up' my character and 'be all that I can be' as it were. I've been walking around in a zombie-ish daze during the day from the lack of sleep. We use to call this at Uni , 'reverse-polarity', where we were awake at night and asleep during the day, trying to finish that 47,000 word paper due the next day. Now that my brain has turned into dog-poo. I'd thought stop playing for a few minutes to check my email and of course update my Blog!

So now, a little background history of the future. The game is set in the future, 160 years from now. If pre-history dictates correctly, the world has been through several ice ages, an environmental anomaly with far reaching effect on the entire globe, of which scientists claim to have actually transpired not once, but 4 times before, from as early as the Proterozoic Age to the most 'recent' one, 10000 years ago. It is in at the mid-point of this new Ice Age cataclysm where a huge war is being fought between two superpowers, the European Union and the Pan-Asian Coalition. Interestingly, America is swallowed by the glacial push from the pole. This is a nice change from having them as a prominent feature of most every major war to date. The makers wanted to get away from the static overuse of American, Russian or Middle Eastern forces. Instead they wanted this to be a war of survival and nothing else. Not religion, not politics, but for the last remaining piece of habitable land.

Once again, like BF2, this game has improved graphics so some hardware improvements were needed. Burning yet another hole in my pocket as I have had to upgrade my graphics card to 512MB, CRT monitor to 19 inch wide-screen LCD and my 1000 Dpi Viper mouse the new 2000 Dpi Copperhead mouse. There are plans to upgrade to the new Dual core processor but I think I will wait for Vista and DirectX 10 to be released first.

I've manage to coax all my friends into buying the game so play together as a Clan. The Jinggez Clan of course. We can all log on, get into a squad and reek havoc in cyberspace. This month there is a cyber games tournament at a mall in the city, of which I will be entering. Hopefully I can win something so I can justify to myself that all this has not been for nothing. Actually after reading all this, its quite sad that this is what excites me. Have I turned into one of those geeks? Or I have I always been one...

Monday, October 16, 2006

BiskutNaga's Top 20 Best 80s songs EVER!

These are my picks for the best of the 80s music. These songs I feel, really opitomises the true essence of the 80s. To me they are, timeless classics and will remain in my MP3 player, forever. So feel free to find and download these songs to make your very own 80s mix tape... Ah yes, the mix tape.. a sure way to a woman's heart is to make a mix tape of all her favorite songs... and songs that say to her, what you don't have the balls to say yourself. These songs are what made us Sensitive New Age Guys such losers then. And pushed the girls away to those rebel, rock, toughguy bastards that abused them and didn't deserve their love. So here we go.

As usual, these are in no particular order. They are all songs that I listen to over and over again, and to hell with what people say! I love 'em.

1. Owner of a lonely heart - Yes
2. Easy Lover - Phil Collins & Philip Bailey
3. Clouds across the moon - The Rah Band
4. Do it for love - Sheena Easton
5. Method of a modern love - Daryl Hall & John Oats
6. The Reflex - Duran Duran
7. Its a miracle - Culture Club
8. Catch me I'm falling - Pretty Poison
9. Heartache - Pepsi & Shirley
10. Talking in your sleep - Romantics
11. You're the inspiration - Chicago
12. Club Tropicana - Wham!
13. Everybody wants to rule the world - Tears For Fears
14. Africa - Toto
15. Don't dream its over - Crowded House
16. I can dream about you - Dan Hartman
17. He's so shy - Pointer Sisters
18. I can't wait - Nu Shooz
19. Take on me - Aha
20. Say I'm your number one - Princess


Obviously there many many many more songs, and its impossible to remember all of them. I've tried to list some obscure ones along with the usuals.
Cheers and love the 80s.
It was a much simpler time.....

(i recommend LimeWire for all your downloading needs)

Thursday, October 12, 2006

New crap & a new poll and for BiskutNaga's Jinggez

I've just added a new poll entitled "Which super power would want the most?". Just to see what kind of readers I have reading my blog. Incidentally, Anne Hathaway was to choice most picked from my last poll, But I think that just bull shit. I know it was one of my siblings, trying to annoy me but not picking Jennifer Connelly.

Also new to Jinggez is, I have change the email subscription engine, seeing as the old one (Bloglet) didn't work. So this post is kind of a 'test' post to see you get notified. Plus, I recently bought a Sony Ericsson K610i which has a 'Blog This!' feature in it where I can send pictures directly to my blog. Not this blog but this one http://jinggezsnapz.blogspot.com . How exciting, mobile blogging. That was fun for a 2 weeks. Until my pal Adrian poisoned my mind with greedy ideas of buying yet another phone. Anyway, I've sold the phone and bought the Sony Ericsson P990i which has everything else EXCEPT the 'Blog This!' feature. How annoying. So I don't know if I will maintain this picture blog.

Ok.. thats all for now. As I'm typing this, another friend of mine, Kelvin Long, sends me this link, http://www.caffeinemarketing.com/bizarre-marketing/britney-spears-is-history
through MSN messenger. I don't know what it is as I really have to go pee.. so you go see. I myself will check it out later.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The Haze is back... Again!


Its that time again here in South East Asia for the Haze. The Haze is caused by forrest fires in Borneo (neighbouring Indonesia). The straw that broke this camel's back was a news report I watched last night which reported that the fires were due to farmers in Borneo excessively practicing open burning to clear their land. I don't think so. There are rumors that the fires were start by Malaysian Logging companies in Borneo. Now that sounds about right. With the economy so bad, and corruption at an all time high, wouldn't you haze-up an entire region for that million-dollar pay off? Easy money this logging business is, with our planets natural resources depleting, its no wonder this has occured. I mean, the Borneo island is a world heritage site with miles and square miles of virgin jungle just waiting to be exploited. Its got trees so high, you and I would probably never get see. Its is impossible to believe that the lowly "farmer" and his minions have all collectively lost the plot and decided to burn all their farms at the same time, causing so much smoke and debris that it is spreading to the entire South East Asian region. And with it, so much air pollution that it has become hazardous to take a walk outside. It all sounds like a cover up. These companys hide as blame is put on Indonesia and its seemingly irresponsible nature. Its easy to blame a country with 100 million people spread across many islands. How can they possibly have an effective government? Is easy to point fingers at a nation where their corruption is world famous when, we might be to blame for this mess.

With 2007 being 'Visit Malaysia Year', all this negative press and staining of our image, does not help our efforts to boost tourism. I have no hard facts with me here for my article nor do I intend to provide them, I am just a voice of anger that needs to vent. It may be farmers, it may be an accident made by logging companies, it may even be god's will but I swear, if its one or two individuals who are responsible for this life threatening haze, I hope you choke on that Beluga caviar, die alone, and burn in hell you greedy money grubbing bastard!

Monday, October 02, 2006

Blogging Block

If you have noticed, the frequency of my posts have slowed down. This is due to my lack of inspiration of late. A writter's block if you will. There are lots of things I could comment about. There are many things that pisses me off. But its nothing that I haven't said before. And thats the problem. I don't want to repeat myself. So for this post, I will just type what is going through my head, at this instance.. as I am typing.

Our film, 'Bloody Hell' on YouTube.com is not going as expected. So far, only 54 views and its rated 2 stars. Not exactly the response we where hoping for. Far from making CNN news as being the most watched video on YouTube. One can only dream. I will upload 'Ended', a clay animation that has all the makings of great Internet fun fare but not just yet. I think I let a few more weeks pass before uploading. See how 'Bloody Hell' goes.

My internet connection really sucks. It seems that my ISP (Streamyx TMnet) is blocking my torrent downloads by throttling the connection. Bastards. I'm stuck on episode 5 of season 2 of Prison Break and its killing me. This connection is so slow that if were to walk to the U.S, video tape Prison Break, and row back to Malaysia, I still wouldn't have downloaded it. The lack of speed could also be attributed to the fact that TMnet bought crappy old port interchange servers thingys from Silicon Valley a few years ago. Just to save a buck. Once our internet was down because there was a ship (yes ship, as in a big boat) that dropped its anchor and severed the cable under the sea connecting us to Hong Kong who in turn were connected to the U.S. What a load of crap. This shit only happens in Asia. We are far from having T1 connections at an effordable price and satellite dishes are useless because it rains so much here. But we are still better than Indonesia, those poor bastards are still on dial up modems. sick la.. sick. Can cry.

This month is the month of Fasting for us Muslims. That means no food or drink from sun up to sun down. No sex during the day, no boozing and no bad anything, really. This month teaches one, self control and restraint. Its a time of worship, relection and cleansing. Body, mind and soul. Its been week now. 3 more to go. I really could use a nice tall glass of ice tea, right about now. Then on to T.G.I Fridays for a Double Cheese Burger with the lot! Yum.

My brother and sister are still in Adelaide South Australia finishing up University. I miss them. My sister will be done this year but my brother has one more to go. I hope he smart enough to make the most of his time there. It truly will be the best time of his life. These days will never come again. Trust me, I know.

I'm really looking forward to the end of this year. Its time to put 2006 on the shelf and file it under 'Years that were shit' next to 2005. The highlight of this year for me has been this blog. And that, I think says it all. Bring on 2007. And with it hope and properity.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Help 'Bloody Hell' become immortalized in cyberspace forever!


After 10 years have passed, 'Bloody Hell' (1996), a movie I starred in during my film school days is now on YouTube.com. Click on this link now,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgT8jUngsgs



watch it and rate it FIVE stars. It doesn't matter if you didn't like it. Help us make this famous. With a FIVE star rating, it will get on the honours board (best rated for the day, most watched etc) and make the top 100 - where more new people will see it.

Toxic Waste increases have led to the dead rising from the grave with one purpose, to feast on the living. What starts as a simple backyard attack escalates into a full scale assault on the city. For two local tough guys the epidemic is no big deal, they are too busy putting a dent in a bottle of whiskey to care.

Then their local hotel is infested.
And their favourite bartender is eaten alive.

So they have no alternative but to declare war on the undead. With the help of an axe and a length of piping, the shit is truly going to hit the fan...

taken from http://www.geocities.com/shoddyhorror/


Oh the good times we had making this film. My film school buddies Simon 'Beef' Johnson and Sam Fuller have been the back bone of 'Shoddy Horror Pictures' and I'm proud to say that I have been part of it. Enjoy.

Btw, we made a sequel to this film a 2 years later called Bloody Hell 2 (1998). If people like part one... i'll upload part 2 soon! for more details about all of us and Shoddy Horror Pictures, check out http://www.geocities.com/shoddyhorror/

Thursday, September 21, 2006

I wonder about things

As i sit in front of my screen, my mind starts to ponder on some of life's oddities.
I'm sure there are explainations for all these. A simple 'google' search could probably answer all of these. But I can't be bothered to find the answers myself. So I just ask the questions.

1. Have you ever wondered, why it is that everything you eat turns in to shit brown EXCEPT for corn, which stays whole and bright yellow?
2. Have you ever wondered, what the use of pubic hair is for? Is it for nude eskimos to keep warm?
3. Have you ever wondered, if tonsils can be removed, then why are they there to begin with?
4. Have you ever wondered, how easy it is watch TV than it is to read a book?
5. Have you ever wondered, how the hell that short, ugly, spectacle wearing geek managed to snag that super model? Why is that? Seriously, why? how?
6. Have you ever wondered, why eating is easier than dieting?
7. Have you ever wondered, if they really did go to the moon?
8. Have you ever wondered, exactly how many chinese people there are in the world?
9. Have you ever wondered, what would happen if you bash your own testicles in with a baseball bat?
10. Have you ever wondered, if you could change something in your past, what would it be? Would that change really make any difference in your life today?
11. Have you ever wondered, if you would survive if the evevator suddenly plumetted to the ground floor from the 10th floor? 20th floor?
12. Have you ever wondered, how long it would take to watch 'The Bold and the Beautiful' back to back from start to finish?
13. Have you ever wondered, what if all women had big boobs, would men find small boobs more attractive then?
14. Have you ever wondered, if you could be a pornstar, would you?
15. Have you ever wondered, if you had your own private jet, where would you go?
16. Have you ever wondered, if there was a Lochness Monster, why haven't we seen it yet? What about Big Foot or Aliens?
17. Have you ever wondered, if Eva Longoria was not in 'Desperate Housewives', would it be such a hit?
18. Have you ever wondered, if 'Seinfeld' was still on T.V, how many more 'have you ever wondered-jokes' can you sit through?
19. Have you ever wondered, if you had superpowers, would you use it for good or evil?
20. Have you ever wondeded, how many more dumb ass lists like this one do you have to endure in your internet surfing experience?

Monday, September 18, 2006

How to save the Airlines

My fellow Americans,

Here are some of my suggestions on how to save our fleeting Airline industry. Firstly, dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers!
What the hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a "party
atmosphere" going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman
in this country would start flying again,hoping to see naked women.
Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need
a salary, thus saving even more money.

I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for
working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances
and "special services."

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women.
Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would
see record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it
right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this?!

Why do I still have to do everything?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

Monday, September 11, 2006

BiskutNaga's Best of Women 2006

September 11, the only twin towers here are in a bra. This is, in my opinion, my pick for the 10 most beautiful, hottest, all-round, all-time women in the world that I can think of at this moment of the morning for 2006. These are in no particular order, but for the sake of a 'top-ten-list' they are in order of my preference, but honestly it all very marginal. Making this list is as good as being number one. Everyone should be number one in her own right.


Number 10:- ANNE HATHAWAY (Best Newcomer & Hollywood's next-big-thing)

An actress whose first big screen gig also proved to be her breakthrough, Anne Hathaway became a familiar face to millions of movie goers thanks to her starring role in Garry Marshall's 2001 hit The Princess Diaries. Cast as a clumsy high school girl who finds out she is the princess of a small country, Hathaway was able to prove her comedic timing opposite no less than Julie Andrews. Soon to be staring in 'The devil wears Prada' with Meryl Streep. This girl will be A-list in no time.











Number 9:- MICHELLE RYAN (The Next Best UK export after Zeta Jones)

Honestly, I don't know much about her and I've never seen an episode of Eastenders, I just stumbled across her picture while surfing the net one day and thought she was gorgeous. Michelle Ryan is a television actress who was born in Enfield, Middlesex on the 22 April 1984. Michelle has appeared Eastenders, Cashback, Comic Relief, Burnside, The Worst Witch, Fair Is Foul & Fouls Are Fair to mention a few. She is hot. I predict she will be the next Catherine Zeta. So look out for her.











Number 8:- KATHARINE MCPHEE (Best American Idol & next singing superstar)

Although she came in second in this years American Idol, she will no doubt be a singing sensation. She has the talent to be big on all mediums. Just look at her, don't tell me you don't think she is mad-ass pretty. Not to mention the fact that she can sing. Her album will be out soon. The sciencetology thing might be a problem, but we can work around it.













Number 7:- TERA PATRICK (Best Pornstar)

In 2000, she made the transition to hard-core porn in Andrew Blake's Aroused. Since that time, she has become one of the most popular and recognized porn stars in the world, having graced the pages of Playboy and Penthouse, where she was a "Pet of the Month" and was selected as "Pet of the Year" runner-up, as well as having appeared in more than seventy adult features. Tera is noted for her sultry voice and her aroused and enthusiastic portrayals of sex. Because of this, she has won several awards from the adult-movie business organizations. Today, she hosts the popular webcast The Tera Patrick Show and she is active in the adult film community, raising money for both the Free Speech Coalition and A.I.M Healthcare. Plus, she is the number one reason Blindness is on the rise. Awesome. Simply awesome.







Number 6:- LINDSAY LOHAN (Best Gossip Column Girl and token redhead of this list)

You can't pick up a magazine, newspaper or tabloid without an article that has something to do with Lindsay. I loved both of her in the 'Parent Trap' and she was awesome in 'Mean Girls'. I think the public should give her a break and leave her alone, but then again, when she bounces around attracting attention like she does, I guess she deserves it.













Number 5:- ALICIA SILVERSTONE (Best All-time Blonde Girl and token blonde of this list)

From the moment I saw her in that Aerosmith video 'Cryin', I knew I was hooked on Alicia. She scared the crap out of me in 'Crush' but I was strangly attracted to all the possessiveness. 'Clueless' is still my all-time favorite teen-high school comedy movie. I honestly don't understand why her TV series 'Miss Match' was cancelled. It left me cryin, crushed and clueless.











Number 4:- NIGELLA LAWSON (Best Domestic Goddess)

Nigella Lawson is one of the UK's most influential food writers, with a growing international reputation and several bestselling books to her name as well as the BBC Channel 4 television series, Nigella Bites. I never thought I'd be so mesmerized while watching a cooking show. Watching her cook is more than enough for me. Her style is notoriously simple, lazy and messy. And yet her food look so damn delicious. She is voluptuous. A cook, a wife and a mother. She is all woman. There aren't many women like her these days. Thank god I'm married to one.










Number 3:- KELLY BROOK (Best 'She's so damn hot it makes me weep' Girl)

Discovered by the Daily Star, Kelly started to appear in various British men's magazines like "Loaded". The British tabloids were also not slow to catch on to her alluring looks and she became a favorite, particularly with male magazines, which became interested in her obvious qualities. Kelly's career really took off when she was announced as the successor to Denise Van Outen alongside Johnny Vaugn on the 'The Big Breakfast'. It wasn't long before hollywood noticed, and now she is making waves, most notably as Lex Luther's girlfriend in TV's Smallville. She recently starred in a 'Miss Marple' drama on ITV. She caused a minor controversy over her most recent film Survival Island (previously known as Three), in which she co-starred with fiancé Billy Zane, when Brook and Zane requested her nude scenes be excised from the final cut, which the producers refused to do.







Number 2:- KEELEY HAZEL (The Best Centerfold and Page 3 girl)

In a nutshell, she is the next Kelly Brook. There is a rumor that her breasts are fake. She says they are real. And that is good enough for me. Either way what does it matter? Its all good. Incidentally, staring at her picture for prolonged periods have been proven to lower blood pressure and cure headaches. I recommend a morning regime of 3 reps 30 minute stares followed by a hot shower.












Number 1:- JENNIFER CONNELLY (The Best All-Time Hollywood Actress)

Yes thats right. Jenny C. Ever since Labyrinth, Career Opportunities and The Rocketeer, Jenny opitimizes all that is Hollywood. For many years friends and family have wondered why I liked her so much. It wasn't until she won an Oscar for best actress did everyone understand. If I were to make a movie, she would be the first one on the casting sheet regardless what the movie was about.

And thats about it for now. I will revise this list periodically. But until then feel free to comment on my picks. I'm sure not everyone will agree. And yes I prefer brunettes.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

The self proclaimed Soccer Gurus of Asia


The English Premier soccer league has just started on its 2006/2007 season. And with this comes the excitement and anticipation of weekly soccer games shown live on all local sports TV channels. We here in Asia love our soccer. We need our dose of adrenaline every weekend. Its a shame the Malaysian soccer team sucks. Ranked second last in the world, just above the island nation of Guam who probably kick our ass. But that's a whole nother post on how pathetic our national team is. Anyway, radio soccer programs, are few and far between. Only one is worthy of mention.

These two friends of mine, Manvir and Sheldon, self proclaimed Soccer Gurus of Asia, have a weekly drive-time call-in radio show called 'Toyota Football Fever'. Very entertaining for soccer fans and absolutely annoying if you're not. There is minimal music so expect nothing but mindless expert banter for the entire duration of the show. The team I support is the great Blue team from Liverpool called Everton FC . Not to be mistaken for the Red team, Liverfools FC. If you can't differentiate between Blue and Red, then you my friend, are color blind and should not be driving. Incidentally these two radio DJ's are massive Liverspool fans. Which brings me to my next point, which is, Can these two be unbiased when making their observations and comments? No they can not. It is physically impossible for them to do so. Liverpool fans have a funny way of being blindly arrogant yet coy with their words. If you can imagine a bull charging at you. They are somewhat unrelenting. Much like Manchester United fans only they smell slightly better. Only very marginally slightly better, mind you. For what its worth... check them out.

Their website is http://www.soccergurusasia.com.
Or just click the newly improved banner I made for them.

ahhaahhhahahhahahahah cheers guys.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Crocodile Hunter Stevie Erwin bites the dust

Yes that's right, the Croc hunter is dead. For real this time. Just a few days ago, steve was killed while filming a documentary about the worlds deadliest creatures. Oh the irony. Oddly enough, there was a rumor that was circulating a few years back saying he was killed by a crocodile. This time it really happened. Some say it was a freak accident. He was swimming too close to a deadly species of Sting ray when he suddenly was poked through the heart by its poisonous tail!

This guy was a hell of a good bloke. A great ambassador of animals and for conservation. An Australian icon. But at the end of the day, if you play with fire, you're gonna get burnt. How many close calls was it gonna take before something like this was to happen? Freak accident? I somehow don't think so. Animals are far more intelligent than we give them credit for. I'm sure this guy was a 'marked man' in the Animal Kingdom. A mass email was sent out to take this guy out. It was just a case of one to many 'Leave us animals alone' that he chose to ignore. All for the sake of our entertainment and education.
You think I'm kidding. I'm not. It was his time to go. I will miss him and I will continue to mimic his 'oh crickey!' when something amazes me.

His death was caught on video by the way. The question is, which sick bastard is gonna leak it out on to the net? Or will we see it in 'Faces of Death 3'? Will you watch it, if it comes to your email tomorrow?

I think I will. You just got to see it. Curiosity is immense.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Service Industry


Can I just say... why are you working in a service based industry if you cannot handle servicing people.
The nature of this industry is............ SERVICE.
Why are waitresses so pissed off at you for changing your mind. For crap sake, nobody asked you to fail all your classes at school. Nobody told you that by dropping out of school you will succeed in life. Nobody told you to get pregnant. At the end of the day, you are in your situation because YOU made it so. So stop taking your anger out on poor innocent customers who just want to have their coffees and go. Why can't all waitresses be like the Hooters girls? Now this is someone who loves their job. Big tits and a tight t-shirt, whatelse do you need? Its all smiles here.

Toll booth operators... here in Malaysia we have an obsene amount of roads. To use these roads, motorist must pay a toll. This is the governments way of making back their money and then some. This is all well and good. My problem is with the damn toll booth operators. Granted, its not most fulfilling job in the world and you dont need a Bio-mechanical Engineering degree to get a job but honestly, there is no need to be perpetually in a crappy mood and almost always pissed off. I'm saying why not make the best of your job. Be the best that you can be at it. No where in the world but Malaysia, does the customer have to say 'Thank You' to the seller. I find myself apologetic if I dont give them the exact change for the toll fare. One time I got so pissed off with the whole thing, I paid a 2 dollar toll charge with 1 cent coins. Thats 200 pieces. Guess what happen next. The bitch ass toll operator told me to take my coins back and go on through. She'd rather let me go without paying, then to take my money. She probably didn't want to count the coins. Point being that instead of thanking me for paying, and doing the country a service by taking 1 cent coins out of circulation, she cursed me and got pissed off.
Again, DONT BE IN A SERVICE BASED INDUSTRY if you cant handle servicing people................

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Top 10 reasons why we SHOULD support pirated Media


1. Free black plastic bag
You can't get those cool black colored bags anywhere ones sold outside are too big and they are meant for the big rubbish bin.

2. Family bonding activity
Every weekend, when you go to street market vendors, you can see little kids running to the VCD/DVD shop to select their favorite Pokemon cartoon. And then mommy will come along to find her favorite compilation DVD The best of Kevin Costner movies. Daddy is searching for the latest movies and trying to see if there's any new porn. Anyway, the point being that this activity something a family can do together.

3. The Cinema sucks (well in Malaysia anyway)
When you arrive at the cinema, you have to queue for 15 minutes to get your ticket. By the time you get to the top of the line, chances are its sold out. So you end up buying tickets for the next show and have to wait another 3 hours. When the time comes, the ticket usher stops you from bringing in your Big Mac and Fries. So now, you're forced to queue up for another 20 minutes at the snack bar. Of course by now you've missed the preview trailers and the first part of the movie. Its dark and you trip over yourself to find you seat. Even if you manage to get to your seats in time, you are still bombarded with 15 minutes of commercials. Mostly beer commercials about super success that comes from drinking beer. Mid way through the movie, you have your mandatory 'ring' of the chinaman's mobile. Losing things in the dark is almost a right of passage. Finally, after the end credits have rolled, there is no way of relieving your bladder in a hurry, as you hurd out slowly like cattle to the slaugter.

4. The best customer service ever
From the moment you start browsing, you are greeted with an enthusiastic 'wassup!'. Ever willing to recommend you the best of the 'top ten' box office movies (according to a print out from Yahoo! Movies). Strangely enough, all movies (according to them) are excellent and are of DVD quality. How is it the that a movie that premiered last week, can be a newly released DVD? Don't worry, any problems with the DVD, it can be exchanged, no questions asked. Not quite 'money back guarentee' but close enough for Malaysia.

5. Support Malaysian made products
This says it all. Buying local made products helps stimulate economy and improve consumer spending.

6. No censorship
In Malaysia you have several censorship catagories, but quite frankly there really only 2. There is 'G' for General Viewing and '18SX' for over 18s. Here is the funny part, if you go to watch an '18SX' movie, the government STILL censors the movie, removing all nudity, coarse language and sexual references. So what is the point of these censorship guidelines then? There is no such thing in pirated media. You buy what you like and watch what you like.

7. Pirated media is cheap
Since the increase in original CD prices due to import duties, tax and other crap, piracy has been on the rise for the last 10 years. Original media is also slow to release its new releases due to the following of marketing campaigns of each individual country. Piracy offers a cheap alternative to consumers for the latest movies and software available now.

8. Promotes inovation that leads to higher quality products
With cheap readily available 3D rendering computer software, Malaysian pirates can learn to master to accurately copy those complex DVD menu systems that animate and entertain as we search the chapters. This in turn results in high quality DVD reproductions, sometimes better than the original version.

9. Enables high turnover of movie viewing and ownership
Pirated movies are so cheap that you can throw them away after viewing. They are definately cheaper than renting thus allowing for recklessly greedy purchasing habits. Not every movie is a "Lawrence of Arabia", so throw away the crap ones and keep the good ones. Movies are ment to be watched. In this case, in bulk.

10. Piracy is eco-friendly and promotes recycling
Due to the copius amounts of plastic involved with the manufacturing of discs. The overspill of plastic media is abundant both on the manufacturing side and the consumer side, hence a readily available source of recyclable plastic.

*This post was taken and edited from an email I received earlier today.

Monday, August 28, 2006

A Happy Blog Entry

Hello world! What a wonderful day this is. The birds are chirping, the sky is blue, the sun is shining and the air is fresh. I am filled with so many positive thoughts that I'm absolutely brimming with confidence. I can achieve anything, I can do anything, I will do everything.

My period ended yesterday and I no longer have to wear that comfortable Tampon. The cramps are gone and my headaches have subsided. I am happy. I don't have to be irritable, I don't have to cry for no reason and I can now go back to my 'Thai-bo' classes. Yea! Well at least till my next cycle.

What a great day for womanhood. My womb is ready for a seed. I am ready to be a wife and a mother. I have no biological clock. I am all woman. Oh look a flower. How beautiful things seem today. I love everyone. I love you. Its already 11.30am. Gee I wish this day will never end.

Wentworth Miller is soooooooooooooooooooooo hot. I love him. Watch Prison Break everyone, its the best show on TV..... ever.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Gay ass faggots should be launched into space

POST DELETED


THIS POST HAS BEEN REMOVED (Aug 28th) DUE TO THE OVERWHELMING NEGATIVE RESPONSE TO THE THINGS I HAVE SAID ABOUT HOMESEXUALS.

THERE ARE TOO MANY 'TOUCHY' PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD FOR MY WORDS.

SOME SUBJECTS ARE BETTER LEFT ALONE.

This proves that there is NO such thing as freedom of speech and freedom of thought.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

What a loser Siti Nurhaliza is

Now this post may have little relevance to some of my readers outside of Malaysia. I feel I should say something about this whole Siti - Datuk 'K' wedding issue. It has caused such a stir with the Malaysian public. People are so damn upset. For the past week, my friends have requested me to say something about Siti. So here goes.

A bit of background first. Siti Nurhaliza has been undoubtedly the queen of music in Malaysia for past 2 decades. The true Malaysian Idol. Anyway, for years Siti has embodied the essence of Malaysian beauty. She has been regarded as the perfect Malaysian woman. Sweet, pretty, soft spoken, well-mannered, religious, talented, business savvy and a virgin. Bringing Siti home will make any mother jump up with glee. Siti has had a zillion hit records. She has won all the awards there is. She is a millionaire in her own right. Bottom line is she can have anyone she wants.

Which brings me to the issue at hand. The truth was revealed on 17th July 2006 that Siti Nurhaliza & Dato Khalid will be tying the knot on 21st August 2006. Dato Khalid or 'K', is an old ass married man with 4 kids in their teens. Malaysia has a population of 20 million and this 'K' fella is the best she find?

Today, Siti made a press statement saying she is not a home-wrecker. Dato 'K' is still trying to finalize his divorce in time for the wedding date. Malaysia is in shock.

At an afternoon meeting with a group of media members at the Sri Pentas Penthouse in Bandar Utama yesterday, she denied allegations that she was responsible for
the breakup of KhalidÂ’s marriage to Tengku Zawyah Tengku Idzham. "It hurts when
people label me with all kinds of names. But, what can I do except to prepare
myself to face them," she said, adding that her initial relationship with Khalid
was due to business. The allegations had been coming thick and fast ever since
Siti Nurhaliza announced her wedding plans last month. It got worse when the
singer decided not to "retaliate". Siti Nurhaliza, who was smiling radiantly,
said she had now plucked up enough courage to face up to the adverse perceptions
some people had about her love life, adding that Khalid was her "first true
love".

Here is what I say. The Khalid fella is a horny old man that is going through a mid-life crisis. He managed to somehow sweet talk his way into Siti's heart with all his 80's charm. And now his is milking this for all its worth. No doubt Siti will be paying to lion's share of the wedding bill. The wedding will have live TV coverage that will be beamed to Indonesia as well. There will be a horse drawn carrage, tiaras, a convention hall and almost all the royal families attending to wedding. Wedding of the year it seems. More like a massive ego stroking exercise if you ask me. Ultimately this guy will sap Siti's money dry and leave her when she is shrivelled and loose. I can't feel sorry for Siti though. Its nobody's fault she is monumentally stupid. As the saying goes, 'you can take the girl outta the village, but you can't take the village out of the girl'. What a loser.

Friday, August 11, 2006

New entertainment guidelines

Yesterday, on the front page of a local newspaper, the Malaysian govenrment has annouced guidelines for concerts and such. Foreign acts performing in the country have to abide by the rules set by the authorities. To avoid any ambiguity, the Central Agency for the Application for Filming and Performance by Foreign Artiste (Puspal) has spelled out the do's and don't's in no uncertain terms. I strongly believe that these rules are unrealistic and archaic, and I recommend the Government to chill out!

All this has come about mainly to the recent Pussycat Dolls concert. The Pussycat Dolls stopped by and put the 'Don't Cha' wish-you-can-pull-my-pants-off show. Many felt that their show was all too porno-ish. Newsflash! to all you ignorant Malaysians, porno is so easy to come by these days. Just type 'tits' or 'nude' in Google and instantly you are barraged with images of lust. The key here is 'you must type', meaning it is a choice. Similarly it is a choice to buy the tickets to go see the concert. If you are fan, then you know what the show is gonna be like. You've seen the CD cover and I'm sure you've seen the MTV video. So? why the sudden shock when they replicate the show for you live? What? Must they wear unflattering 'Jedi' robes and stand still and sing? Come on.

Just read this and you tell me, what the hell...

THE guidelines from Puspal or the Central Agency for the Application for Filming and Performance by Foreign Artiste state that once a show is approved, foreign artistes are strongly prohibited from:
* Behaving improperly, such as jumping about, shouting or throwing things on stage or towards the audience;
* Acting or saying things with sexual innuendos, or in their dance moves; hugging or kissing the audience or fellow artistes;
* Saying or doing things which can be interpreted as an act of attracting attention to or idolising a particular society or religion that can affect the political situation and stability of the country; and
* Performing in the nude or stripping while performing.

On dress codes, foreign artistes have to observe the following:
* A female artiste must cover herself from the top of her breast to the knee;
* A male artiste must cover himself from the chest to the knee; and
* A female artiste performing belly dancing must cover her abdomen with at least a ‘net’ type of material with designs.

If there is anyone to blame, it should be the idiot or idiots that issue the permits for concerts in the first place. A friend of mine in the event management business said that it takes about a month for a concert permit to be issued because it must have six signatures. That's six idiots that have been living in a cave or playing golf on an island for last 5 years, to not know who The Pussycat Dolls are. They must have thought it was an application for a porcelain feline toys exibition. Ignorant fools. Again, we live in a world with the Internet, if you don't know something, open a browser and do a search. The short skirts will be an indication that The Pussycat Dolls may not be suitable for Malaysia. As always, only after ignorant public outcry do the authorites act.

I know we are a Muslim nation but, the most of the acts are not. Mariah ain't gonna wear a 'hijab' on her head. Nor can we force her. For tolerence sake, for multiracialism sake, please la, have the common sense. If it offends you then don't expose yourself to it or don't approve the permit. Thats what censorship ratings at movies are for. For you to make and informed decision. Rated 'R' means the movie has got things that might offend and is not suitable for children. So dont watch the movie because it WILL offend you. SO................... DONT SEE IT. I say have a censorship rating for concerts and shows as well, then inform the public what they are about to see.
IT.... SHOULD BE...... A..... CHOICE.
For crying out loud, bitch!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Mid-Life Crisis?

Some people seem to think that I'm going through a Mid-Life crisis. Why? It seems that now that I'm 31, I should dress and act a certain way. What way? Actually, I myself don't know what Midlife crisis is. And so, I 'Google' it as one does these days. Come to think of it, I think it will be ok to throw out that Britanicca Encyclopedia set at home. Any how, this is the definition:-

A mid-life crisis is an emotional state of doubt and anxiety in which a person becomes uncomfortable with the realization that life is halfway over. It commonly involves reflection on what the individual has done with his or her life up to that point, often with feelings that not enough was accomplished. The individuals experiencing such may feel boredom with their lives, jobs, or their partners, and may feel a strong desire to make changes in these areas. The condition is also called the beginning of individuation, a process of self-actualization that continues on to death. The condition is most common ranging from the ages of 35-50, and affects men and women differently. Mid life crisis last abnout 5-10 years in men and 2-5 years in women, but length may vary in some people.


If I'm going through mid-life crisis, then that means I'm gonna die at the age of 62. Am I going through a crisis? Is that why I dress like a Rapper? Is that why I enjoy Linsey Lohan movies? Is it wrong that I love 80s music? Should I stop looking at photos of the Prom? Do I feel like I've not accomplished anything? Is this the reason I blog? Who actually, honestly, cares about what I have to say about anything? Should I change? What have I realized? Self actualization? Actualize what? Oh God. Should I be depressed? Am I depressing you? Am I depressing myself with all this talk of mid-life bullshit? Or is it that because I talk about and obviously think about it, that it ultimately makes me believe that I am going though a crisis? Paralysis by analysis?

At the end of the day, I say this... If I am going through one, so be it. I think what is important is to live day by day and be happy about the things you have. And be greatful. Anyway, I don't think I'm going through a crisis, I'm too cool to be in crisis.

Friday, August 04, 2006

A poem.

Today I wake up feeling blue. I feel inspired to write something morose. A poem of sorts. Who cares.

Oh how the day has risen,
My heart filled with sorrow,
I yearn for yesterday and tomorrow,
Will there be retribution for this day?

Oh how despair fills the air,
My innards want to come outwards,
I lack the will to function,
Slap me now.

Oh look a knife,
My fingers longing to touch,
I wonder can it slice cleanly?
One slit is all i need.

Oh I ponder the times of old,
How simple the knights once rode,
Wake to fight and honor is theirs,
A damsel's distress, a meaning to live.

Oh alas I wake,
The cold of water restores my fate,
I dress alive with colors of red,
One more day we will struggle to take.

Live. I say. Live today.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Mel Gibson in Hot Bar Mitzvah Soup!

Mel Gibson The Road Warrior Wallace, has really shot himself in the foot this time. He was already skating on thin ice with that Jesus movie, and now this.
On July 28th last Friday, Mel Gibson was clocked driving his Lexus 87mph in a 45mph zone on the Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu, and arrested on suspicion of DUI. Apparently while being questioned by the police, Mel uttered some anti-Semitic slurs like "you Jews rule the world" or "you must be a Jew... Bitch!". Yesterday, faced with growing outrage over his remarks, Mel Gibson offered a second apology, this time specifically imploring the forgiveness of Jews and asking for meetings with Jewish leaders who might help him find 'the appropriate path for healing.' He continued, in part: "I want to apologize specifically to everyone in the Jewish community for the vitriolic and harmful words that I said to a law enforcement officer the night I was arrested on a D.U.I. charge. I am a public person, and when I say something, either articulated and thought out, or blurted out in a moment of insanity, my words carry weight in the public arena."
This whole Jew-Christian-Islam issue is the most sensitive issue ever in our history. Its a subject that has not and probably will not be resolved, ever. If you think otherwise then you are truly naive and blindly optimistic. We all have our own opinions on the subject.
In the case of our friend Mel, well, its either he is damn stupid or damn smart. I think he is smart. He has to be. Surely he knows that Hollywood and the media in general are, by coincidence, run by people of the Jewish religion. Sure he knows that a movie like 'The Passion' will stir up controversy. I'm sure that was his plan. He is a motion picture icon. Icon meaning that he's been in 'the game' for decades. To stay in the game, you need the public to remember you. Whether it be for great performances and achievements, or for controversy. It all boils down to, publicity. What better way than to use a platform like this sensitive issue. He knows news of this nature will reach everyone in the world. Beggars in Mongolia will know about Mel Gibson and this incident as they snuggle in yesterday's newspaper. People will watch his movies either way. He could make a movie about the welding process of aluminium and people will watch it because of all this. Good or bad the review, more importantly, people cared to review it. As the people of today tire and get bored easily, the entertainment industry needs to get more creative. Brilliant la this fella actually. At the end of the day, whatever he truly feels about the Jews deep down, its win-win for Mel Gibson. At the end of the day, it gets dark.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Seriously, enough of Brad and Angelina

I thought I was done talking about this in my earlier post. I really don't know where to start. Today, while reading the morning paper, I was stupified to find yet another article about Brad, Angelina and Shiloh. Madame Tussauds wax fellas have made a wax statue of the baby as well. I don't think I have ever used the F-word in my blog so far but I think this justifies some swearing. So skip the next few lines if you don't like hearing your inner voice swear. But what the flying horse fucking cock sucking cunt crapping monkey manure is all this zebra shit about!!!! I mean can we give it a rest?? Lebanon is being ass fucked by the Jews and we got nothing better to do than to go to a wax museum and pose in a picture next to these three fools as if to later, try to fool our friends that the Pitts invited you over to 'see the baby'. Fuck that! for a I'm-a-friend-of the-family joke. I swear, this pisses me off so much that which I could video tape blow torching it down. Then send the video in melted wax to them with the message. 'Disappear from this earth until Shitloh is old enough to go to military school. Then wait until he gets raped by a mountain goat. If not I will hunt you down and stab your Tomb Troy Raider faces with a spoon!!'. Enough la.... please.... enough.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Jakarta.... Its just crazy there.

Just got home from one of Asia's maddest city, Jakarta, Indonesia. After spending 5 days in Jakarta, I don't think I'll ever complain about life in Kuala Lumpur. The saying "there is no place like home" rings so true. With a population of 240 million and 14 million in Jakarta alone, its a wonder why the Island of Java hasn't sank yet. Just hours before I landed, there was a tremor or 'mild' earthquake that shook the city. In fact, just one day before, off the southern coast of Java, there was a quake that started a Tsunami that killed 700 people! My friend Anderson, whom I stayed with, failed to mention any of these events. Indonesia is one of those countries that has a currency that goes into the millions much like the Italian Lira once did. Changing a 1000 Ringgit gave you 2.5 million Rupiah. You could literally roll around in money and imagine it was U.S dollars, just for kicks. It took some getting use to, buying a can of Coke for 5000 Rupiahs and not freaking out. Fun.

Then of course there is the traffic. A two hour drive from Jakarta East to Jakarta West is not uncommon. Imagine 2 lanes with 6 cars trying to squeeze through. Heards of Wilderbeasts come to mind. Its a game of death. Drivers seem to set the car in the general direction they want to go, close their eyes and floor it. Honk the horn all the way and try to avoid the motorcyclists. The level of skill involved is immense. Yoda would be proud as you use 'The Force'. You need to know your way around as road signs are not high on the govenments to-do-list. Just a side note, in five days, I saw 3 accidents, involving motorbikes hitting cars or vice versa, all fatal. Again, with that high a population, Indonesia can afford to lose a few. Boo.
This is truly a bizarre place. The city is littered with statues and fountains commemorating who knows what. Speaking of litter, its not the cleanest of cities. I guess you can't blame them, I mean, with 14 million people, that is a lot of shit that gets flushed down toilets. I notice that the color of water in the sewage and river canals were black. I mean Black as in so damn dirty that its reached the end of the color spectrum. Yummy. Imagine falling into that, I think if you don't die of god-knows-what-disease, you'd die of the shear shock of being in such filth.

Then there's the safety issue. Everywhere you look, you were constantly reminded of the riots and bombings that occurred. Many residential areas have high fences with security guards posted at the entrances. Heck, I even had to go through a metal detector at McDonalds. Them Big Macs ain't that good! No quarter pounders by the way. Everyone seems to order the Chicken meal with rice. Rice, you want rice go stay in the paddy fields.

Jakarta has its very own Disneyland right smack in the city called Dufan. Its quite interesting to see how they copy Disneyland and come close to breaking copyright laws. You can clearly see that the mascot is based on one of the dwarves from Snow White but with a bigger nose and a cap. Whoopee! The song 'Its a small world after all' had just enough changes in the notes to be annoyingly different. The water ride looked curiously similar to the Log ride at Disney. Get this, at the souvenir shop, you can buy hideous Halloween masks like the mask from Scream and Night of the Living Dead. What the hell? Yup... Hell.

Overall, I did enjoy my stay there. The shopping was good. The local female talent was decent. The people when not angry with the Chinese, were friendly, hospitable and helpful. My visit to the Flower Gardens at Puncak (Peak Mountain) was very relaxing. I love the fact that you can bribe a policeman to move street vendors so that you can park your car. Well done Prince Ando! Jakarta as a city, is shit. Too many people. Too big a gap between rich and poor. Too damn dirty. But Indonesia as a country, has so much to offer. Bali for instance is prime example. Bali incidentally is where Australians go when they 'Go overseas'. And of course Indonesian workers. They'll do anything for so little money, but it is far more money than what they would get in their own country. Is no wonder they flock overseas for work when the alternative is a card board box under the bridge. They are in fact, the back bone of the labor force in Malaysia, without the Indons, we'd be screwed. Who's gonna wash the dishes and tap our rubber trees? We certainly won't.

I recommend a visit. Jakarta...... so crazy, you love it.

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