Monday, April 23, 2007

Seung-Hui Cho, serve you right America!


This is not Seung-Hui Cho by the way.

BANG! BANG! One crazy ass Korean lost the plot and shot a whole bunch people. Many dead. This has left the American people dazed, confused, angered and sad. Its bad enough they are afraid to get on a plane with 'Ahmed Bin Laden', now they can't even go to school for fear some crazy fool will go buck wild and open fire. First let me this clear, I do not condone Cho's actions nor do I think he is justified in anyway whatever his reasons may have been. After reading the various news articles about the shooting, here is my 2 cents.

America is looking to point the finger. Who is to be blamed for this great injustice? Who is at fault? How can they prevent this from happening? I blame the country itself. The United States of America, land of the free. Liberty and justice for all. The American dream. You and your goddamn American citizen rights and shit. How bout you point that finger on yourselves before blaming others. First and foremost you allowed his refuge parents to gain citizenship to begin with. So don't be mad at their 'born in the USA' kid who was simply enjoying his 'freedom'. Land of the free remember? It was your silly gun laws, inline with your liberty/freedom policies, that has lead to this. He was free to enter a pawn shop and buy a gun, then wait a couple of weeks to buy another gun. Hell, if he wanted to go Duck hunting, he could have walked in to WalMart and buy a hunting rifle WITHOUT having to wait. AND PLUS, this Cho fella bought his gun magazines on Ebay.com for gods sake! Enough said.

If you owned a gun, wouldn't you eventually use it? If you say, "no, I will never actually use it,", then aren't you just being silly? Whats the point of owning a gun then? To point it and hope the bad guy runs away? If that's the case, why not just buy those replica handguns that shoots out BB pallets and looks like the real thing. Safe and will get the job done. Guns are made to end life. Period. Guns, put in the hand of any half crazy dick-head like Cho, spells trouble. In all of history, nothing good has ever come from guns apart for making tons of money for people who sell them. You want to do something about this America? Change your gun laws. Ban them. Get them off the streets. That's all.

When I heard about this on the news, I was relieved it was an Asian-type fella, like a Korean. I said "Thank god it wasn't an Arab ". Can you imagine the shit that would have happen then? America invades Jordan perhaps? But wait! now it seems this Cho fella had a tattoo on his forearm with 'Ismail Ax' which is his video game alter-ego name. Suddenly paranoid America and 'the powers' that be, is trying to spin the story to terrorism. Suddenly, this Korean boat fucker is a Muslim and a Terrorist with links to Uzbekistan! "Could the Ax in Ismail Ax, be shorthand for the name Ahmed?" say media reports. Insane in the membrane! Insane in the brain!

Please la, its nobody's fault but your own, America. Its all ways your fault. Just go open any history book. Serve you right.

Monday, April 16, 2007

My sister's room of death

Every so often I would venture into my sister's room just to see what she is up to. For me its like walking into some kind of alternate universe or some kind of twilight zone even. For starters, the room is not your typical square or rectangle in its layout. Its got a zig-zag wall on one side and french doors on the other. Quite bizarre if you ask me. As if that wasn't enough, her bed would sometimes be placed on an angle across the room, just to 'off set' things it seems. Oh my god, lets not forget the beads. Oh yes the beads. A curtain of Balinese ornamental jewels divides the room to create a 'walk in wardrobe' of sorts. An ode to 70's interior design? Perhaps, only my sister knows whats going on there.

"Get me out of here! "

Lets not forget the 'all-of-sudden-its-blue-its-green' bathroom, with a glass tabletop wash basin that has edges so sharp that one slip and you can kiss your wet naked life goodbye. Oh and recently the roof caved in from shoddy workmanship and heavy rain, that it now looks like it was designed that way to begin with. Oddly enough it now fits the whole warped feel of the bedroom. Yea!

Now for some reason, my sister does not strive to make the room comfortable for guests, the room is 'tuned' for her comfort, and rightly so I suppose, but come on. The room does not provide me with a feeling of chill. Maybe this is by design because she needs 'her space', like all Leos do. I can't even properly throw myself on the bed without a fear of breaking the one of a kind wire framed bed. She has satin-type sheets which makes the pillows swish and slide off the bed. This in turn, results in me not being able to lie down properly and place a pillow under my head without straining my neck as I try to 'grip' the pillow with my hair. I would of course sit on the near by dressing table chair but alas, its wooden, hard, and makes my ass feel like someone has been hitting it with a sledgehammer.
The room has four nuclear powered halogen lights that converge into one blinding spot on the bed, so even if you try to relax, it feels like you sunbathing. Beware to those wearing glasses, your eyeballs may spontaneously combust. The heat from the lights is conveniently mixed with lack of oxygen in the room. The lack of moving air is evident as there is no ceiling fan for those lazy Sunday afternoons. Prolonged conversations will cause light headiness and heart beat spasms. It feels like you are perpetually drowning. And God forbid you suggest to switch the air-conditioner on, that's not 'natural'.
When I complained to my sister about all of the above, she says, "Its like training yourself". An explanation that is so characteristic of her and her unique ways. It is simple yet deep in meaning. The room is like a one big 'only for me' domain and everyone else can keep the hell out. Or in this case me. I just can't help but feel that its all meant to be. She is definitely smarter than people give her credit for and like all Leo's, requires you to simply understand and allow.

Friday, April 06, 2007

The most annoying question of all time

"Hey, how are things?"

One of the most common greetings of modern times. A question that is both vague and at the same time obtrusive. Why the hell does one ask such a rhetorical question anyway? Do you really care how things are doing with the other person? And if so, what of it? When answering a question like this, how much do you tell or How much don't you tell? What happens when too much information has passed and an embarrassing situation arises?

Say for instance, "Hey, how are things?" Answer, "Things are bad, I am having a stomach ache and I need to take a big shit, I predict it will be a shit that will be both soft and very liquid. Also my cat died in my toilet, the smell is quite rank. I will however persevere non the less. Oh and my wife slept with her boss too. Thanks for asking.". So now the person who asked the question in the first place is left bewildered and feeling like shit. He has had a shitty day, that is how things are going for him.

*Ceiling Cat appears courtesy of the shoddyblog
What about the flip side? "Hey, how are things?" Answer, "Things are awesome, I just made my first billion and I'm looking to sink the 50 foot yacht I bought last week because some sad fool's cat died in the toilet and shat on it, So now I want to buy a new one. But first I have to ask my super model girlfriend if she and her model friends want to fly to Monte Carlo with me to pick out a new yacht and go for a test drive. Oh excuse me while I get rid of these pesky 20 dollar notes. I hate small change." What a bastard. But you can't blame him for answering that way, he is happy and rich, that is how things are going with him. You asked didn't you?
So there is no real point in asking this annoying question. Either way, the answer is of no consequence to you.

So I ask you again... why ask the question at all?

 Does anyone still use this???   Seriously.....