Tuesday, February 13, 2007

What Chinese People think of the Malays

This list was written by a chinese person and highlights their point of view about us Malays here in our own country. I received this in my email one day and felt that it needed to be posted. I think it is only fair seeing as I myself posted a chinese race related post a few months ago.

If you are of Malay race, this list will no doubt anger you however, we must accept their opinions about us and reflect on ourselves. Not all of it is wrong, most are painfully accurate. If we don't like what is said, we must endeavour to make a change and stop blaming others for own shortcomings. I feel this list also shows the deep racial under current that lies behind our seemingly peaceful country.

Note :- The text is totally unedited, so the bad english is not from me.

01. You MALAY call each other 'BODOH' for fun, and too 'BODOH' to realize it's an offensive word.
02. You're the LAZIEST person on God's earth.
03. Always update with "lagu-lagu A-minor", "lagu-lagu rindu" and "wayang hindustani".
04. Always give a very long honourable speech start from Duli YangMaha Mulia,Tan Sri, Puan Sri, YB-YB, Yang Berbahagia Datuk, Datuk-Datuk, Datin-Datin, Tuan Haji, Tuan Pengerusi Majlis.. and lastsometime least...."rakyat jelata" sekalian.... ..."terlebih dahulusaya ingin membuka majlis denganasalamualaikuwarama tula hiwabarakatu. ....."
05. Many Malay ended at "pusat pemulihan dadah" for common drug abuse.
06. "Air sirap" is the cheapest drink you can afford.
07. You like to tease and act perverted when someone with sexual appealpassing by.
08. You self proclaimed from a superior race (Arabs).
09. You love to eat, especially FREE FOOD.
10. Malay favourite quote = REZEKI JANGAN DI TOLAK.
11. Malay least favourite word = JANJI MELAYU.
12. Your girls got a mouthfull of chicken's ass (loudmouths) .
13. You can't stand it and always keep on staring at someone who arebetter dressing / looking rather than your back-dated looks.
14. You wear your shirt more than 4 times before wash it.
15. You feel it's not right to eat first before everybody gets their meal (while your meal is getting cold).
16. You got that annoying habit of wanting people to acknowledge you.
17. You know for the fact that you are supersticious (bomohs and dukuns).
18. You know for the fact that Malay jokes are decently lame and you always force yourself to laugh when other malay joker telling their lame jokes.
19. You always try to take advantage on other people work..
20. You are trained to be a sweet talker.
21. You love to offer drinks to your boss while polishing his shoe.
22. You always pick on juniors.
23. You don't care if everyone in your class/office know for the fact that you are lazy.
24. You are very protective on your seniority.
25. You are quite a slow thinker.
26. You prefer to borrow people's stuff rather than buy it, but hardly return it back.
27. You also always use other's property without asking permission.
28. Many of you are not sincere when making friend with non-malays.
29. You always waste your time in the public phone talking about "janji-janji manis", "omong- omong kosong", "aku hidup dalamblues", "Hindi superstar" and "cinta-sayang". (these are direct quotes...)
30. Malay most popular ambition... * to the public = "ingin menjadi seorang insan yang berguna" * in reality = to be a clerk, despatch, factory worker
31. Gossip are number 1 favourite past time.
32. Malay favourite magazine are URTV, Mangga, Jelita, Remaja and Variasari.
33. Mark as "bangsa pendengki" by other race in Malaysia .
34. When someone giving a speech, a Malay usually will nod their head (kepala terangguk-angguk) not to show that they understand, but just simply to act that they understand in a serious manner.
35. Deep in the eyes of Malay, the meaning of "TERSIPU-SIPU BAHASA" and "MALU-MALU KUCING" are..... * GREAT APPETITE WITH A VENGEANCE.
36. Malay got less friend from other races because... * Malay are too proud of their own language which makes them stuck-up * Malay also ignore that other etnic groups and foreign people are willing to learn to speak in Malay while got other knowledge in other language. (so now you know why this email is written in ENGLISH)
37. In Malaysia , people said "wear condom and don't forget to take a bath with Dettol if you make love to a Malay".
38. An example of a Malay with good grades =STRAIGHT C-MINUS
39. A Malay boss are known as intimidating his staff Sexual harrasing & Blackmailing Welcome more family member and friends to join the company Corruption * Always bring company's item home for personel use.
40. Malay, as the biggest population in Malaysia , are always feels threaten with the minority Christian in the country.
41. Malay chicks always dream to have sex with White Man but always ended get f*ck by their own species. (Im sorry if this offended you, but it was a promise)
42. Most babies found in the bushes and dustbin are Malay.
43. Most adultery/incest cases are by Malay.
44. Most divorce cases are by Malay couple.
45. Most yuppie wannabes are Malay.
46. Malay man got the habit using sink/wash hand area to rinse and wash their penis mostly in their bathroom, hostel and also in the public toilet.
47. Malay love to make fun at people who use toilet paper to wipe ass because they love to touch their sh*t with their hand.
48. Malay knows that other races could not dare to eat malay food not because of the spices but because the food was process by their ass-wiping-hand.
49. Malay use toilet paper in Malay restaurant / food court / warungto wipe customer's mouth and hand.
50. A typical malay Ready-to-wear. .... * a long, torn jeans, * a T- shirt * a pair of loafers
51. Malays can't live without rice and chilli.
52. A malay who check in a foreign hotel will cook their food inside the hotel room with water boiler and a portable mini cooker to save cost.
52. Malay knows their favourite fast food......KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN hot and spicy.
53. Malay will eat fried chicken and burger just like in the manner of eating rice with hand "one hand lean on the table, slouching head to the plate and other hand with finger close to each other to enter mouth".
54. Malay toilet always smells like "petai".
55. Malay love to remind people to have their morning shower but they themself always ended up having a BO in the afternoon. (BO=body- odour)
56. Backstabbing are malay greatest asset.
57. Cheating in examination or test are heredity.
58. Malay favourite brand are G.A Blue Jeans, Lady-like Jeans, a fake Ray-ban.
59. Upper class Malay favourite brand are the cheapest Versace t- shirt, Malboro Classic sometimes fake sometimes not jeans, an old fashion (erik estrada CHIPS) Ray-Ban glasses and a discount salesMark and Spencer.
60. Weekend are racing paradise for "Mat motor".
61. Malay never learn to accept people's opinion as a guide or challenge.
62. You feel that you had to support Moslem terrorist just because their are Islam and not because their are a serial killers.
64. The only musical instrument you can play is a GITAR KAPOK.
65. You Malay will pretend to ignore and deny that you are typical.
66. You MALAYS dreaming to become rich, but not by hard working or studying BUT with ALL KINDS OF SKIM CEPAT KAYA and STUPID MULTI- LEVEL MARKETING BUSINESS.
67. Dont have money but always want to action - buying cars like Waja, Wira and other expensive cars while you know you can only afford a KAPCAI.
68. Parents very rich but still go overseas using govenment scholarship. Go overseas to enjoy and not to study.
69. You will start to wondering about yourself after reading this.

So there you go. The email even had a "please forward" disclaimer and everything.

P/S : Forwardlah email ini pada bangsa Melayu yang lain untuk kesedaran !! Panas hati baca e-mail nih. Merah jer bijik matarasa cam nak terbakar. Tapi.... kena terima dengan terbuka ler. Ada yang betoi... ada yang musibat. Kalau tak nak bangsa lainmemperlekehkan kita lagi.... sama-samalah kita improve. Tapi tetap ingat bangsa yang tak kenal asal usul nih.... tak sedar yang dulunya merempat di tanah air kita, skang dah berani besar kepala !!!

Its all food for thought.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

The Little Blue House Cafe

I would like share with all of you about this little known culinary gem called 'The Little Blue House Cafe'. Situated in the small sleepy town of Bidor in the state of Perak, Malaysia. Its a small restaurant off the main street of Bidor town and you would not find it unless you were lost. This ironically was the way we stumbled upon it.

Bidor is the kind of town that probably was once a hide out for thieves back in the 70's, or even a toilet stop for train drivers back in the 60's, who really knows. These days, its home for people who are quite content living their mediocre lives from one day to the next. Simply existing on this planet waiting for the day they see a mushroom cloud in the distance. Anyway...

'The Little Blue House Cafe' serves the tastiest wok fried food on the planet. Their Chinese fried rice is simply to die for. Not to mention the sweet and sour chicken, simply divine. The decor was as you would expect, tasteless yet rustic, a relic of the 70's minimalist movement. It probably looked the same ever since they opened. It didn't matter, we were there purely to eat. Needless to say we ordered dishes as if it was going to be our last meal. We were hungry no question about it. Hungry like Mexican whores at sunrise. The fried rice disappeared like magic. I personally  have tried everything on the menu. Its all good.

Towards the end the cook himself came out of the kitchen to see if all this food was actually being eaten and that we were in fact being serious. Now here is the kicker, 5 adults and 3 children, the bill came up to 50 Malaysian Ringgit which is roughly 7 UK Pounds. 7 Pounds? That will get you a Happy Meal in London, maybe. If 'The Little Blue House Cafe' was in Kuala Lumpur city, you'd be paying 3 times the amount.

We were perplexed and almost sacred to paying thinking that they may have somehow miscalculated the bill or something. Maybe they grow all the ingredients out back? Maybe they own the building, hence they don't pay rent. Who knows? All I knew was that I was deliriously full and filled with guilt at the shameless display of greed and opulence. Never the less I highly recommend you eat there. That is if you ever go pass that way. Ever.

Macam P

Macam Pantat