Thursday, June 29, 2006

The Malaysian guide to McDonalds

This blog entry is for most Malaysians that are unaware of some of the secrets that lie within McDonalds. Firstly, if you want a fresh Burger, you should ask for say a Big Mac with no gherkins, because by Mickey D's law they MUST make you a new burger and not slide it across to the back for the assembly fella to take it out with his dirty fingers. And there is a time limit, if burgers are not sold within a certain time they must throw it out, 10 minutes if I'm not mistaken. Please take note of the funny looking clock in the wall with weird number increments. That clock is for this purpose. Next, McD's will match any voucher or coupon from Burger King, that means that if you bring a coupon into McD's that entitles you to 2 free Whoppers , they will match it with 2 Big Macs. Did you know that YOU CAN GET FREE REFILLS in McDonalds just like at Burger King. They just don't advertise it because its not in their Jewish interest to do so but you are entitled to it. Just go over to the counter and ask them to refill your cup, they will. And lastly, only here in Malaysia is the meal not free if you get it after 2 minutes of ordering. Here you get a plastic number and they will send it to you. Even at a the drive thru. I hate this. They tried to implement this policy with something similar by putting a timer by the register and if your order came after the timer went off you get a free coke or something, but all that happened was they didn't even bother trying to beat the clock to serve you and just handed the free drink to you. But that's a whole other topic about how Malaysians are cock ass lazy, hence the term Malaise. By the way, if you are wondering what the big tits have to do with fast food, then I am speechless. Fool.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006





Japan GT Girls are hot

Over the weekend I attended the Japan GT at the Sepang International Race Curcuit Malaysia. Now I've not followed the series, I dont know who the drivers are nor who leads the championship. All I know is that there were a lot of scantily clad Japanese women at this event. Its interesting to see how Japan has created a Race series all on their own. The Sepang leg of this series is the only one held outside of Japan and features a plethora of cars that have been supped up to look like planes almost. But I'm not here to talk about the race. I saw a lot of hot Japanese women and I like to share my pictures with you. Now these girls are stars in their own right. Many of them have their own website and there were many guys with magazines and stuff for them to autograph. I did'nt know any of them. I am just plain amazed at Japan for creating their own world class event and then being able to generate such interest from within. We've seen in recent times how Japanese culture especially Japanese Animation (manga) is starting to get into mainstream pop culture. And I think that it is this, iconic aspect of Japan that has made these GT girls so popular. Asian looking women are getting more and more closer to being reguarded as 'beautiful' by the rest of the world.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Movie Review - The Ringer

Let me just start out by saying that this movie stars Johnny Knoxville. Who? Johnny is famous for his antics on the hit reality stupidity show 'Jack-Ass' on Mtv. Enough said. Now I'm not about to tell you the whole story, I just summarize. So in summary, this is a story of a average man in an average job trying to improve himself, then as part of his promotion is instructed to fire the poor janitor but does not have the heart to. So he employs him to mow his lawn with the promise of better pay and health benefits, who then accidentally cuts of all his fingers in the lawn mower. Now the hospital does not want to operate and so he must find $28000. How? By asking help from his Uncle with the gambling problem, who comes up with the brilliant idea of 'Fixing' the special Olympics. Normal Johnny fakes being spastic with the assumption that he can win with ease. The uncle then places a $100000 bet on 'sure thing'. Win and all is well. Perfect plan. In this movie I find myself very disturbed at the overwhelming amount of 'special' people on screen. Feeling guilty at times for laughing at all the unfortunate people that genetics has chosen to screw. Johnny trying to act spastic is not entirely funny as he attempts to be a 'serious' actor. This movie has its token hottie in the form of Katherine Heigl, from the hit series Roswell and Grey's Anatomy. I kept waiting to see if she was gonna strip. Now I'd love to tell you how this all ends but I can't. My pirated DVD died half way through and I got no idea what happens in the end. Bitch ass Taiwanese fellas. I will assume that all the spastic people magically become normal and Johnny Knoxville has a heart attack after seeing Katherine's enormous hoo-hoos. I win the $100000 bet and you don't ever ever see this movie. Johnny, go back to riding shopping carts and have your balls kicked in by a midget. That's what we love you for.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Enough of Brad and Angelina's crap!

I've just about had enough of these two fools. Many people are fascinated by celebrity's private lives. They read about them in tabloids and newspapers as if they are part of their own pathetic lives. Like as if their opinions matter.. oh no.. Brad... you should have not dumped Jennifer.. oh poor Jennifer.. oh look Angelina is prettier and she adopted a monks blind baby.. now its ok. Bullshit.. all bullshit I say. Who gives a rats monkeys ass whether or not Angelina has gotten over Billy Bob or vice versa? Recently Angelina gave birth to a new baby. A baby with Brad.. are they even married? Oh so now that the worlds sexiest man had sex with the worlds most sexiest woman means that the baby is gonna turn out to be what? superfragalisticexpialidotiously sexy? I say two positives make a negative. This is gonna turn out to be one ugly ass human. Just look at the newborn pictures.. 'just released' by Angelina to the press... like frickin music album.. just released.. they made a few bucks by doing this didn't they?.. for charity it seems.. I propose we ignore these two idiots. And if I see them walking on the streets of Kuala Lumpur, I'll give Brad a tight slap and i'll get a picture with Angelina.. afterall she is now a hot mama! Shiloh is Mongolian for 'a shit load of shit in the shape of a bread loaf'.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Microsoft Targets the Black Market

In an attempt to improve its market share it the black segment of the American population, Microsoft has released a 'Ghetto Version' of Microsoft Word, aptly named 'Mircosoft Word'. Word? Word, nigga... aight!! In this version, users will be able to type in their native street tongue for 'shizzel menizzel' and text will automatically be converted into perfect English as recognized by Websters and Oxford. And vice versa fool. Sentences like 'Yo. Them bitches in da houze will be chillin wit dem hoes shakin them booties all night long. Nigga.' will soon be crystal clear. Available now at your corner neighborhood liquor store.. that is before its gets robbed. Bitch ass fool. There will also be a Malaysian version of this version currently undergoing testing by renowned Malaysian rapper Joe Flizzow. Visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Too_Phat .

Monday, June 12, 2006

What kind of person actually wants to be a soccer Linesman?


Ah yes, the Linesman, arguably the most irritating and most controversial of all the soccer officials. What kind of person wakes up one day and decides, 'Yes, I would like to be a professional linesman'? All this guy does for 90 minutes is run up and down a line while looking sideways. His job is to catch players 'offside'. He doesn't get a whistle. He only carries a small flag. He can't talk or shout, he is to 'snap' his flag in order to be heard. He gets abused by the players, fans and sometimes even the referee himself. In South America, Linesmen are escorted by police for fear of being killed! A thankless job this is. Referees are the ones that get all the fame if any. Just look at the Colina fella. A bald, hairless, bug-eyed, alien-looking freak by the way. The 'Offside' rule is there to prevent strikers from waiting at the opponent's goal mouth the whole game. So soccer needs the offside rule, if not it will be basketball. The problem is, the offside rule is entirely dependent on the linesman call. One to many times a goal is disallowed by the Linesman. More often than not the call is a controversial one. What's worse is at the end of the day, the Linesman call can be 'Overruled' by the ref. So who really wants to be a Linesman? Losers.... thats who.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

World Cup Fever Starts Now

The World Cup is here once again. For all you dumbass Americans this means Soccer. By the way you have a team representing your country in this competition and you actually are quite good. Anyway, kicking off tomorrow (June 9th) will be a month long soccer tournament that truly defines what it means to be 'world' champions. Held once every four years, the reigning champions and favorites Brazil, will begin their campaign to retain the title. Lead by arguably the best footballer in the world, Ronaldinho, along with many former and future footballers of the year, Brazil looks set to maintain their number one world ranking. It will not be easy however as teams like France, Holland, Portugal, Argentina and England are also in with a chance. To be honest, all teams at this level, have the ability, talent and determination to win.

My pick or the team I will be staying up till the wee hours of the morning to watch will be England. England have many great players, David Beckham, Joe Cole, Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard, John Terry and Wayne Rooney. Today, Rooney was given the all clear by specialist in Manchester, to play in the tournament. Wayne the Wonder Kid soccer prodigy, a product of the Everton FC Soccer Academy, stolen away by Manchester United for peanuts, broke his foot in the final game of the season against Chelsea. His injury meant that without him, England's hope of being competitive had greatly been reduced. It was his performances at the Euro 2004 that he gained a reputation on the world stage, as he spearheaded the English attack, scoring 4 goals. His injury then marked the end of England in Euro 2004 Championship. The critics feel, as do I, that now with Rooney in the England squad, they CAN go all the way this time. Good Luck boys! God save the Queen...... and Sven.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Midget Porn

SERIOUSLY. What the hell is up with people who like Midget Porn? I honestly feel that if you are not a Midget or Little People (the PC Term), then you have absolutely no right to 'get-off' of it. What kind of sick bastard likes to see genetically deformed people having sex? What's wrong with normal porn? People who watch Midget Porn ultimately laugh at it because it is, quite simply, not normal and therefore funny. If anything it is demeaning to little people. Just look at Midgets in the circus and in Professional Wrestling. They are there merely as objects of comedy and nothing more. But then again, is it the Midgets themselves that feel they need to objectify themselves in this manner? Do they feel they need to fulfill these stereotypes that society has dictated? Is Midget Porn one of these outlets? Don't get me wrong, Little People have every right to procreate. Hell, most of them do end up having 'normal' off spring. And so on and so forth. But enough of this intellectual banter. Bottom line is Midget Porn is sick and people who love it should be shot. They should be dragged by their ankles, faced down, across a bed of nails by camels in the desert, naked. They should be forced to feed hungry crocodiles with their pants down while being watched by stripper Midgets. In short, Midget Porn is wrong and has no place in my porn collection. We should scorn those who enjoy it. Why watch Midget Porn when you can watch Tera Patrick or Jenna Jameson or both of them together even. Why must you seek sexual gratification by watching The Lustful Adventures of Darla The Snow Dwarf Sex Queen? You sick sick sicko....

 Does anyone still use this???   Seriously.....