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Showing posts from January, 2007

Top Facts for Chuck Norris

- Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
- Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
- Chuck Norris can speak braille.
- Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
- Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
- Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
- Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper ca…

American Idol Loser Syndrome (AILS)

American Idol's has just kicked off its latest season this week. Another great season in search of the next Taylor Fantasia Kelly thats gonna rock the music world. Its such a great show and watching hidden talents being found is very gratifying. Watching the nation wide auditions would have to be the shows best part. For one of every McPhee that comes throught the door, there will be a thousand William Hungs. Quite simply, there are more losers than there are winners in the world.
Have you ever wondered about how contestants on American Idol are such losers and they don't even know it. You know what I'm talking about, the look on their faces when told by Simon Cowell that they truly suck. The look of total disbelief and utter denial for the fact that they cannot sing to save their own life. Why does everyone hate Simon? Because he tells the truth, and the fact of the matter is, no one wants to hear the truth. The truth hurts.
Which brings me to the point I'm trying to …

Happy Crappy New Year

Oh my god, what a crappy year 2006 was. Towards the end in December, time seemed to slow down, it was as if 2006 didn't want to let us go. There was even an earth quake in Taiwan that, get this, destroyed the underwater cables that connects this part of the planet to the Internet. The internet was so slow, it was worse than dial-up. Blogging was effected hence the lengthy delay in posting. They say it will take 1 month to repair the cables, that means 2 months in Taiwanese. Today, surfing seems to be ok, but there are some sites that simply wont load, I guess its not a 100% ok just yet.

Honestly, 2006 was so shit that things can only go up from here. There is a slight optimism in me about this being a better year. But somehow maybe not. We shall see. I'll talk to you when a Tsunami hits California and Iran "accidentally" tests its nuclear bomb on Isreal, tiggering World War 3. I don't know, maybe I'm still reeling from the after effects of 2006 Shitty Bonanza …