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End of Year Blog

Hello boys and girls. I've been a few months since I've written anything. Low and behold, 2009 came and went. I blame Facebook and Twitter. With constant status updates and being concise all the time, this makes no room for long winded blogging. But that's not an excuse, I'm just lazy.

I wanna look back at 2009 and give my review, but alas, it was all a blur. It was that kind of year to be honest. Lacklustre and forgettable. So lets just leave it at that and move on. Bring on 2010. One year closer to 2011. I haven't seen the movie yet, but they says its crap. So maybe I wont. Why would I want to scare myself silly? Let the end of the world come... whenever that maybe.

So here is a list of things of things to look forward to:-

1. .................................................... nah.... fuck it..... I aint making a list.

Merry X'mas and Happy New Year.

Everyone can go ahead and lick my balls! (here is the accompanying logo)

Baby Einstein - Plug your baby in

We live in the year 2009. We are surrounded by technology. Parenting has definitely changed over past 20 years. As kid, my 'TV time' was always restricted by my parents. It was a time were books were more timely than the internet, in fact, there was no internet in the 80s.

Today, I use technology in everything and that includes parenting. My first born is now 6 years old. Ever since he was born, I exposed him to technology. Everything from the cell phone to the personal computer, I made sure he was familiar to it all. Now he can switch on my entertainment system, google stuff, and I've been told that his conversational skills are far beyond the average 6 year-old. He is articulate and expressive. We are very proud of him.

The secret? Plug your plug your child into Baby Einstein. Over a decade ago, Baby Einstein was founded by Julie Clark, a mom who wanted to share her love of humanities with her baby. Her intent was to create products that offered interactive experiences for…

Isla Fisher vs Amy Adams

Is it just me or does Amy Adams and Isla Fisher look alike? I was watching "Definitely, Maybe" earlier today and I noticed that Isla Fisher reminded me of Amy Adams (Enchanted). I did a little internet search and found that Isla will be starring in the upcoming movie "Confessions Of A Shopaholic" and realized that I thought she was Amy when I saw the trailer on television. It's really confusing - especially when they both sport curls. And if you haven't figured it out yet, that's Isla on the left and Amy on the right.

My mandatory Birthday Entry

The year is 2009. The month, July. The day, 15th. Now I'm officially an old, decrepit, silly, tubbier, old, grumpy old man. And did I mention 'Old'? I've now lived on this excuse for a planet for 34 years now. That's 3 and a bit decades of piss farting around. Well now, I say bring on the next 3 decades for more of the same.

I have lots to be grateful for. We have a new addition to the family is the form of little Eva Zahara. My beautiful petite little gem that is full of spirit and spunk. I fear that one day she will break my heart with random acts of rebellious behavior. One can only hope that the early childhood education will be sufficient enough to mold her into a useful and contributing individual to society when she grows up. Somehow I have a strange feeling that all the stuff I did when I was single is going to come back and haunt me it the form of my daughter. All I can do it prey. I love my little 'Punya' none the less.

My son Hakeem who is now 6 y…

Transformers 2 - I dont like it

I copy - pasted this from Yahoo! Movies because this article says it all. This movie didn't even inspire me write my ownreview.
Burning Questions: The 10 Most Confusing Things in 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen'
by Matt McDaniel
June 30, 2009 "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" made over $200 million last week. What it didn't make, however, was one lick of sense.

Now, suspension of disbelief is usually not a problem for me. Tell me that a billionaire could put on a bat suit and swoop around fighting crime and I'll buy it. Or that a different billionaire could build flying armor in his basement. Or that in the future people will beam onto spaceships with their pointy-eared best friend. I'll accept all of it. I'll even take your word for it that a mechanized alien race can come to our planet, scan some cars, and turn themselves into vehicles.

That being said, there were moments in this new "Transformers" movie that were so conf…

I ate pork. Damn the Philippines!

On my recent trip to the Philippines, I had my first taste of pork. How fucking awesome. Yey!
What started out as a simple breakfast, quickly turned into a nightmare. As a Muslim, one of the fundamental no-no's is eating pork or any of the variants there of. This means bacon, sausages, ham, pig and whatever other names there are of this 'other white meat'.

Anyway, as you would imagine, breakfast is an experience laid en with land mines of the pork variety, and so my options were quite limited. Even ordering a simple omelet meant that I would risk some Jamie Oliver wannabe chef would still mix in some ham and capsicum in there. So I order a plain sunny-side up egg with some toast. Ok, so at his point what could go wrong? On the table there was a neat little basket of condiments like, salt, pepper, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, Maggi seasoning, soy sauce, Ketchup AND finally, MANG TOMAS ALL AROUND SARSA.

All-Around Sarsa? Fuyoh! That sounds too exotic to pass up, I had to give t…

The Empty Sound of Nothing

The whole of April .... I DIDN'T WRITE SHIT.......


nothing ...

zero...

nada....

empty...

none...

zero equals none...

ended.

May, I try again.

31 Things Guys Should Know About Girls...

Written by a friend. After years of experience.

1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud.

3. Beware of every single male relatives and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your butt at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

5. Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, its because they're jealous.

6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.

7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, its because they like being in your arms.

8. If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did.

--8.5. If you DO sleep with them, don't tell your friends that you did…

My Favorite Monologue

I don't what it is, but ever since I was younger, I always wanted to be an actor. As you get older, you realize that perhaps you may have 'missed the boat'. I was a shy boy and a little introverted, according to my mother anyway. Thinking back, maybe I did a lot of acting alone and in front of the mirror, I can't really remember. Or maybe that was my crazy sister? Anyway this is my favorite monologue of all time. Before the ease of Google, I actually had to pause the VHS cassette and use a dictionary to write out and understand this speech!!
Austin Powers
written by Mike MyersDr. Evil: The details of my life are quite inconsequential.

Therapist (Carrie Fisher): Oh no, please, please, let's hear about your childhood.

Dr Evil: Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father…

Lack Lustre

Today I have the general feeling of crap. I feel like crap, I look like crap and I'm talking crap.

A poem comes to mind

Oh thus the winter wind that blows,
Oh trust the cold from hence within,
Joyous clouds that is the drain,
From toilets blocked from whens it came,

Turtles die and Butterflies cry,
Mothers lie and Toast is dry,
Yet those without a penny to save,
Are those without a beard to shave.

Curious George is but an ape,
What indeed is Murphy's Law?
To where we go in this day and age,
It truly is the winter raw.

Oh pointless is this poem of mine,
I struggle much to make it rhyme,
Only for laugh I seek,
Only for a smile today.

Bitches.

Palestine, Israel and the whole bit

Hello Boys and Girls, first and foremost, Happy New Year. May 2009 bring with it some light in a time when everyone seems to predict dark times. Sorry for the lack of posts toward the end of last year. What with X'mas and all, I was very busy singing carols, stuffing stockings over my fireplace and waiting for that fictitious fat bastard they call Santa to give me a present that I don't deserve. Not. We can thank the Marketing Jews that created the whole structured and money making industry we call 'Christmas Holidays'. Anyway, that's not what I wanna talk about.

I wanna say something about the recent events in the Middle East. Namely the war in Israel and Palestine. Now before I say anything further, I just want to say that I will be writing this as an ignorant and misinformed individual who has chosen to not take much notice of the events of the Middle East over the past few years. I believe that my view would echo the majority of moderate Muslims in this country …