My mandatory Birthday Entry

The year is 2009. The month, July. The day, 15th. Now I'm officially an old, decrepit, silly, tubbier, old, grumpy old man. And did I mention 'Old'? I've now lived on this excuse for a planet for 34 years now. That's 3 and a bit decades of piss farting around. Well now, I say bring on the next 3 decades for more of the same.

I have lots to be grateful for. We have a new addition to the family is the form of little Eva Zahara. My beautiful petite little gem that is full of spirit and spunk. I fear that one day she will break my heart with random acts of rebellious behavior. One can only hope that the early childhood education will be sufficient enough to mold her into a useful and contributing individual to society when she grows up. Somehow I have a strange feeling that all the stuff I did when I was single is going to come back and haunt me it the form of my daughter. All I can do it prey. I love my little 'Punya' none the less.

My son Hakeem who is now 6 years old and doesn't stop talking. He can actually hold a conversation like an adult. You can reason with him now and sometimes he tries to find loopholes and argue with you. Just like me! ehehhe I'm so proud of him. He can also read and write now. This is both good and bad. Bad because its only a matter of time before he figures out to type 'boob' in Google and thus begins a parents nightmare. At the moment he Googles 'Ultraman' and 'Tom and Jerry'. I fear the day he finds The Adventures of UltraCockman and His Gay Buddies Tom and Jerry. Oh the horror! I remember in the eighties how hard it was to find a naked anything let alone porn. Nowadays, porn is only but a 'double-click' away. Thanks Internet.

My wife Azhani. My partner. My friend. Truly without her, I would have nothing. Or more like without her, life would have little meaning. Sure I enjoy the occasional outings with the The Boys. And for sure we have our disagreements, But I can tell you, I would be lost without her. Through think and thin, we will make it 'Kets'. I promise. Love you.

My mother is a Facebook nut and I honestly have myself to blame for setting up her account. Now she has 5 million in Texas Hold' Em money. I keep telling her, 'Its not real'. Oh crap. My two sisters are flying in there careers and my brother Adam is doing well at his new job as web developer/project manager or something. I must thank them, especially Nini, for helping our mother out of her financial meltdown. With everyone chipping in, we can make it through.

In the past 12 months, I've been traveling quite a bit. I've almost been to every Asian country there is. This is quite a feat seeing as I don't particularly like being away from home. Its not so bad I am only away one week at a time. Career wise, its been up and down. We can all thank the current economic down turn for shit we are going through. I would like to see a little more stability in this area of my life. I hoping the latter part of this year will bring some good news.

I've been fighting my temptation to buy a BlackBerry but I fear my resilience is coming to an end. With most of my friends and family on it, And with the inclusion of Twitter, I think its time. I know that once I'm on, I won't look back. This year I also bought a motorcycle. My wife thinks I'm going through a mid-life crisis. Have I reached mid-life? I think not. But lets not put a label to it.

My birthday consisted on one cake at work and one seafood dinner with family and friends. And another cake. No presents. And I help pay for the dinner. I think it was a fitting birthday-day. Overall, even though I tried to start out this entry all morose and mellow dramatic, now at the end of it, come to think of it, I am happy. Sure, things can be better and sure I wouldn't mind a little more extra money, in all honestly, my life doesn't suck. And for that everyday I thank Allah for all that he has given me.

And last but not least.. as always, I give myself some birthday boobs to look at. I figure my son hasn't been to my blog yet. I figure I better put up whatever I like before I have to start our home censorship board. I do feel my time of reckless blogging is coming to an end. Anyway, Did anyone catch Simona Halep at Wimbledon this year? She is my new favourite Tennis player. Happy Birthday Ozi.

Read this.

TENNIS babe Simona Halep is to undergo surgery - to shrink her 34DD bouncers.

The 17-year-old claims they are a disadvantage and has vowed to have a reduction later this year. She declared: "The breasts make me uncomfortable when I play.

"It's the weight that troubles me - my ability to react quickly."

Fans of the 5ft 5in Romanian - ranked 317th in the world and hoping to play at Wimbledon - last night flocked to sign an online petition: Save Simona Halep Boobs.

One stormed: "It will be a crime against nature."

Oh the horror of breast reduction........ peace out.

Transformers 2 - I dont like it

I copy - pasted this from Yahoo! Movies because this article says it all. This movie didn't even inspire me write my own review.

Burning Questions: The 10 Most Confusing Things in 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen'
by Matt McDaniel
June 30, 2009

"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" made over $200 million last week. What it didn't make, however, was one lick of sense.

Now, suspension of disbelief is usually not a problem for me. Tell me that a billionaire could put on a bat suit and swoop around fighting crime and I'll buy it. Or that a different billionaire could build flying armor in his basement. Or that in the future people will beam onto spaceships with their pointy-eared best friend. I'll accept all of it. I'll even take your word for it that a mechanized alien race can come to our planet, scan some cars, and turn themselves into vehicles.

That being said, there were moments in this new "Transformers" movie that were so confusing, so contradictory, or so corny that they completely took me out of the movie. Even days after watching it, some new inconsistency or plot hole would pop into my mind.

I can hear it already: "It's a popcorn movie. It's based on a bunch of toys. It's just supposed to be fun." And yes, all of those things are true. But that doesn't mean I can't ask questions about what in the world was going on. Here are the ten that I most want answered. (WARNING: contains spoilers).

1. In "Transformers," there was this giant battle in the middle of downtown Los Angeles -- excuse me, Mission City -- that was witnessed by thousands of people at the very least. But somehow the government was able to cover up the whole thing, and now the existence of alien robots is just an internet rumor? How did they do it? Pay off everyone who was there and quickly fix millions of dollars in damage? Also, didn't Keller (Jon Voight) go on TV and tell everyone we were being attacked by "a technological civilization far superior to our own"? How did they spin that?

2. There are two pieces of the Allspark cube left: the military has one under lock and key, and Sam discovers another. The Decepticons steal one and bring Megatron back to life. But when Sam (Shia LaBeouf) wants to bring back Optimus, he has to find the Matrix of Leadership on the other side of the globe. Why not use the other piece? Mikaela (Megan Fox) has it in her backpack the whole time. It brought his kitchen appliances to life, why can't it do the same for Optimus?

3. Speaking of Megatron's rebirth, when the Decepticons venture deep into the ocean to revive him, the Navy crew tracking them reads five contacts. When they get down there, they tear apart one of the robots for parts to rebuild Megatron. Then as they rise to the surface, the same Navy guys say they spot six contacts. The little "Doctor" robot popped out down there, but he's about a third of the size of a person. Would he have shown up on sonar?

4. That reminds me: even if I were to forgive the Doctor's German accent -- and director Michael Bay is asking me to forgive a lot of ridiculous accents -- why would a robot need glasses? He has little lenses that flip in front of his mechanical eyes. Couldn't he just get his eyes adjusted? You'd think with all the laser guns, someone could perform a Lasik procedure.

5. Apparently, Transformers can look like people now. How? And how is it that even though the robo-girl (Isabel Lucas) is made of metal, she can still straddle Sam without crushing him. And if Bumblebee knows something's wrong with her, why does he spit antifreeze at her instead of telling Sam? Yes, his voicebox is broken, but wasn't it fixed at the end of the last movie?

6. The Fallen is the last of the Primes, since they all sacrificed themselves to stop him from destroying the sun. But then he says that Optimus is a descendant of the Primes. First, Transformers have kids? And second, how could he descend from them if they were all dead? And if the Fallen could only be destroyed by a Prime, why didn't the originals just gang up on him back in the day? And what makes Optimus so special, anyway? Megatron beat him earlier, but all it takes is a few spare parts from creaky old Jetfire for him to take out the Fallen?

7. Sam, Mikaela, and Simmons (John Turturro) go to the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum in Washington D.C. to find Jetfire. Then they walk out the back onto a wide open field with old planes and mountains in the distance. When did the National Mall start to look so much like to Tucson, AZ (where they really filmed that scene)?

8. The geography is just as bad when they go to Egypt. The stone city of Petra in Jordan is over 250 miles away, over mountainous terrain, with few paved roads and the Israeli border between them, so how can they drive from one to the other in a couple of hours. And the Pyramids are said to be shooting distance from the Mediterranean, but they are actually well over 80 miles inland. Even if the Navy ship had a secret rail gun, and even if the captain would take an order to fire from a former agent of a government branch that no longer exists (over a walkie-talkie that inexplicably starts working again), how could it hit a moving target from that distance?

9. Sam briefly dies and goes to Robot Heaven. Robot Heaven?!?!

10. Where does Sam's bandage come from? What about his extra sock? Why does Sam's roommate not contribute anything at all? What was the Fallen doing for those thousands of years Megatron was frozen in ice? How does one satellite receive transmissions from everywhere on the planet? Why does Wheelie hump Mikaela's leg? Why do we have to see John Turturro's thong? Why are robots who join together to become Devastator also seen fighting the Army at the same time? Why does the government want only our military fighting Decepticons when our weapons seem unable to make so much as a dent on any of them? Why did the ancient Egyptians build a pyramid around the sun-destroying machines instead of just breaking it? Why is the Matrix of Leadership bigger in the Fallen's hand than in Sam's? And how do Mikaela's pants stay so clean?

OK, so I went overboard at the end, but the questions remain. And I'm sure more will pop up next time I think about the movie. But the movie did make a ton of money, and it's earned a solid B+ rating from our users. Maybe I should go see it again. My questions probably won't get answered in a second viewing, but if I can just clear them from my mind I can be in Robot Heaven, too.

BISKUTNAGA SAYS BALLS!