Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Fatty Crab 2 or Bloody Hell 3?

Recently my partner-in-crime and co-star our Shoddy Horror movie series Andrew Campbell paid me a visit. As its now seemingly becoming some sort of tradition, I took him and Alex (his girlfriend la, short for Alexandra) to Fatty Crab. I also took our fellow Shoddy alumni, Simon last year and still talks to me about it. I get the feeling like he's still upset about the fact we didn't order enough. Simon was the one who recommended Andrew to experience 'Elbows-In Dining'. I am always more than happy to accommodate my 'brothers'.

Fatty Crab is renowned for their delicious red crabs. In fact they serve nothing but. Well you can order side dishes like chicken wings and fried rice, but mostly, people just come for the crabs. The crab can be cooked in several styles, sweet and sour, steamed, fried with chili or with black pepper. Its all good.

For this raunchy experience, we ordered the house favourite, chili crabs. These crabs are fried in a gigantic wok over high heat and then bathed in a wondrous sauce made with chillies, peppers and all else divine. Oddly enough, you also are provided with toasted bread to dip in this sauce. Simply magical. We asked for extra sauce. We ate like hungry Tonkin Snub-nosed Monkey's.

The next day, I took Andrew and Alex shopping. As a goof, I thought it be fun for Andrew and I to wear matching shirts again. "Lets wear matching shirts man! That be cool! Lets see what kind of reaction we'd get" I said. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but as we walked out of the Factory Outlet Store, and into the mall, I realized that we can't pull off shit like this anymore at our age. But at least we tried.

"I use to think I was fat in 1998... what the Jinggez hell!" We should go and make part 3 and call it 'Bloody Hell 3 - The Return of the Tall Old and Fat Wabby Zombie Killer Bastards Again"

Thursday, July 26, 2007

How do you tell who is who?

I'm not trying to make fun of my own religion but honestly, this is where I think the Arabs take it a little too far... Why bother taking this picture ?

"Oh look Auntie Laden got new shoes..."
"and my my hasn't Latifah lost weight since the pregnancy.."

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Thai Cuisine in Bangkok

Recently on my trip to the Kingdom of Thailand, I was blessed with the opportunity to sample the local fair as only god intended. Up until last week, my idea of great Thai food comes from eating at the local food stalls down the road, cooked by some Indian bloke from Bangalore. I may be stating the obvious here but, you just can't beat consuming Thai food that has been cooked by 'the locals'. Being able to eat it there in Bangkok was key. Sure, a Thai dude can come here to Malaysia and cook up a storm, but there's something to be said about using the ingredients that has been grown from the ground where the blood and tears its people have spilt. Thai food is known for its enthusiastic use of fresh (rather than dried) herbs and spices as well as fish sauce. Thai cuisine is known for its balance of five fundamental flavors in each dish or the overall meal - spicy, sour, sweet, salty and bitter (optional).

I was really amazed at how consistent the food was where ever I ate. Whether it be at road side push cart food stall or the Hotel coffeehouse, the food was simply wonderous. Anyway, my favourite Thai dish would have to be the Tom Yam soup. Tom Yam is basically a hot & sour soup with meat. If it has shrimp in it, its called Tom Yam Goong. If there is all other kinds of seafood in it, then is called Tom Yam Talae. Naturally, being Malaysian, I prefer the Tom Yam Gai which has chicken and is more like a curry as it has coconut milk.
I firmly believe that the spicier the soup the better. When I was a student in Adelaide, my friend Simon and I would head down to the corner food court and order their so called Tom Yam. It tasted like just pure chili and water and we thought "wow! this is the shit!". How sadly ignorant we were. Nine out of Ten times after consuming copious amounts of 'imitation' Thai food, my anus pays a hefty fine the next morning. Generally feeling like 50 midgets are having a bond fire and my sphincter is the melting marshmellow-on-a-stick.

This is the 'after' photo of my Tom Yam soup. There's no 'before' photo as I was blinded by greed and hunger that I forgot to take one. As you can see from the reminisce that it was made with love and no ingredient was spared. So good that it inspired me to post this post.

Now here's the thing, if Tom Yam is made right, the balance of all the five fundamental flavors come together in glorious harmony. To much of one, and it all goes to shit. Literally. Every time I sat down and ordered, I would say to the cook, "make it as spicy as locals like it". Expecting it to burn like in the past, I was pleasantly surprised this was not the case. A good indication that its great Tom Yam, your nose starts to run and you can feel your sinus clearing. It should not feel like hot acid being poured down your throat. I normally tear up in pain and frantically guzzle down gulps of water with every spoonful. Not this time. Oh no. This time, my tears were of joy and my grin was that of a giddy school girl.

One last thing, I noticed that at all the various eating establishments throughout my time in Bangkok, one practice was evident. The cooks would almost always create each individual dish one at a time. This seemed inefficient at the time as there was always a long queue. I also noticed that Thai people seem to be not hurried when it came to food. They are willing to wait. They obviously take their food very seriously. As we all should, I suppose. I realize now, that by cooking each meal (or portion) individually, the exact amount of ingredients can be maintained every time, thus ensuring 'the balance of flavour'. The Thais have definitely got it right. Decades of trial and error. Years of mothers passing down those little culinary secrets to future generations. Ultimately forever insuring that the sheer elegance of Thai cuisine lives on forever...

Monday, July 16, 2007

Happy Birthday to me..

Its the day after my Birthday and I feel absolutely the same as I did a year ago. A little older, a little wiser, and a few kilos heavier. Just got back from Bangkok and in retrospect, probably the best present I could have given myself. Nothing like a few days in a foreign country to put some extra perspective on ones life. Glad to be home and love Malaysia that little bit more.

Thoughts on my life? Sure things can always be better... but bottom line, honestly, I'm happy and thankful to God that I've gotten this far relatively unscathed. With all of life's ups and downs, overall, the graph has shown an upward trend. I hope this trend continues till the day I die.

Friends have come and gone. Those who I call friends now, I feel will be with me a long time, My family? Stronger and full of love through all the tough times. The saying "united we stand, together we fall" rings so true.

This blog, reluctantly, what started out as an experiment, has become very much a part of my life. . I would like to thank those who have visited here with a message, "Don't be a Jinggez ass and come back again!" . And a very special shout out to my regular readers who take the time to write comments here. All of you make this Blog look "happening" and in turn, I don't look like just another 'loser with a blog', so for that I thank you.

Cheers to all.

Here is a cake for myself, excuse me while I light 32 candles, sing 'the' song, blow out the candles and feel stupid that I continue this idiotic tradition. Aint it all a Jinggez?!

Ahh, what the hell, I think I'm gonna get a cake and make some burgers tonight...

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Miscellaneous Information on Star Trek: The Next Generation

Just in case you need to know more about the show, here are some useful information for you. You never know when it might come up at a dinner party or even at your next convention. Although, if you were at a convention, bringing up these points would only embarrass yourself as all this is common knowledge!

Riker has been offered the command of his own ship on the following occasions:
In The Arsenal of Freedom, he is offered command of the USS Drake.
In The Icarus Factor he's offered the USS Aries.
In the Best of Both Worlds he is offered the USS Melbourne, later found destroyed at Wolf 359.

The saucer section of the Enterprise separates from the drive section in:
Encounter At Farpoint.
The Arsenal of Freedom.
Best of Both Worlds - Part II.

Captain Picard surrenders:
To `Q' in Encounter at Farpoint.
He tries to surrender to the Ferengi but they surrender first in The Last Outpost.
In The Outragous Okona, Picard orders the shields dropped `In case we decide to surrender to them.'
In A Matter of Honor, Picard surrenders to Riker who is in command of the Klingon vessel Pagh.
In Peak Performance, Riker asks Picard `Would you care to surrender now?' even before the war games start.
In The Defector, the Romulans ask Picard to surrender but he refuses.

Geordi LaForge is named after a real Star Trek fan named George LaForge who died from muscular dystrophy in 1975.

Industrial Light and Magic (ILM) did the special effect shots only for Encounter At Farpoint but they still get credit in every episode because of the extra stock footage for Enterprise fly-bys and such.

If you look closely at the Enterprise during the fly-by in the opening credits, you can see someone walking past the windows.

William Riker and Deanna Troi are based upon Commander Decker and Lieutenant Ilia from Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

Star Trek: The Next Generation has earned over US$500,000,000 for Paramount in syndication and merchandising revenue.

The Child and Devil's Due were originally scripts for the proposed Star Trek II television series. When this idea was scrapped, the sets were used for the shooting of Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

There are numerous in-jokes in The Next Generation:
In The Neutral Zone, the family tree called up by Deanna Troi for Clare Raymond includes the names of all the actors who have played the part of the Doctor in Dr Who.
In Loud As A Whisper, the conference table is marked with the names of Kei and Yuri from the Japanese animation series, The Dirty Pair.
In The Icarus Factor the mat has the Chinese character of `sei' or star on it.
In Up The Long Ladder a ship called Buckaroo Banzai is listed.
In Qpid Picard says `There is something you should know ... I'm not from Nottingham.' - this is a reference to the film The Princes' Bride.
In Sub Rosa one of the gravestones says "McFly", a reference to Back to the Future.
Professor Stephen Hawking is the only person ever to have appeared `as himself' in Star Trek: The Next Generation, in a cameo role at the start of Descent. He has already had a shuttle named after him which appeared in The Host.

"Helm!..... set course for sector 001, warp factor 8, ........ENGAGE!"

Thursday, July 05, 2007

How to watch a T.V series properly

Can I just say that one of my all time favourite TV Series has to be 'The West Wing'. The series is set in the West Wing of the White House, the location of the Oval Office and offices of presidential senior staff, during the fictional Democratic administration of Josiah Bartlet played by Martin Sheen. The West Wing offers a rare glimpse into the inner workings of America's most powerful address, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Many criticisms have been written concerning the shows legitimacy, political slant, and film merits. Some critics often praised The West Wing for its writing, others faulted the show for its unrealistic optimism. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a U.S Politics buff nor am I have suddenly gone 'all serious'. I just really like this show.

At first I was reluctant to watch it thinking, "How can a show about the white house be any good?". Even after its first season, The West Wing garnered nine Emmy's, (a record for most won by a series in a single season) I was still not convinced. However around about the time the show was in its 5th Season, I went out to my local DVD pirate store, purchased the Season 1 DVD box set. What the hell right? Let's see what all the fuss was about. And DAMN! it was good. Needless to say I watched all 22 episodes in 2 days! I couldn't stop.

I went back to Pei Pei the DVD Princess and bought all the remaining seasons. She had up to Season 4. That didn't take long to complete either. I think 2 or 3 months it was. I remember rationing the viewing, 2 episodes a night. That took some discipline. Could have easily watched it all. Anyhow, the day came when I had just seen the cliffhanger at the end of Season 4, I rushed out to Princess Pei Pei, to my horror, NO SEASON 5! It wasn't clear to me at the time, but, how could there be Season 5 DVD Box set, if they haven't complete showing it in the U.S? I was blinded by own immense Kiasu-ness. (Kiasu (Traditional Chinese: 驚輸) is a Hokkien word that literally means 'fear of losing' . However its actual usage would imply a meaning more approaching that of "dog in a manger", and yet not quite)

The series ended its seven-year run on May 14, 2006. I am sad and will miss it greatly. However, I now proudly own the entire DVD collection (Not the one pictured right) so I can relive the moments forever. Fast Forward to today and the reason for this post.

My mother, retired, bored, a TV nut and most of all, Kiasu. All of our favourite current shows like Heroes and Prison Break are on their season breaks. The English Premier League won't resume until August. She had nothing to watch. I've been recommending The West Wing to her for sometime now. She reluctantly took my advice and watched the pilot.

Now here is the kicker, she began watching 7 days ago. As of yesterday she told me she was already on Season 7! There are 22 episodes a season. 7 seasons is 154 episodes. Each episode is 45 minutes long (without commercials), so that's 6930 minutes which equates to 115 hours of viewing time! That's simply amazing! I think by the time I finish writing this, she'll be asking me for Season 8. Sadly, she will have to undergo the same withdrawals as me. If only there was a machine that can zap out specific memories, like the entire series, then we could watch it again! I know this time, I'd watch it just like my mom. IN ONE GO.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

You know you're from Adelaide when ...

Thanks Nana for this contribution........ Incidentally, Nana is an Indonesian. She is called Nana because her full name is Sri Retnaning Diyah Hastuti Hadiputranto. Huh? Exactly. Anyway, Nana loves Adelaide so much that she has become a permanent resident, works for the government of South Australia and is about to marry someone from there! Go figure.

  1. You have been to the club formerly known as Heaven at least once (and you were under 18).
  2. You have been to Glenelg and got extremely sunburned
  3. You know what fritz is You call people Mindas
  4. You say plaaaant not pleeeent
  5. You go out to the same place EVERY Saturday night
  6. You have the same friends from high school
  7. You can't go out without seeing someone you know
  8. You really miss the old Sizzler cheese bread
  9. You like ugg boots, not moccies
  10. You have a very strong opinion on Lleyton Hewitt
  11. You have been to one of the following lookouts:
    (Stirling, Mt Lofty, Penfolds Rd, Sunnyside Rd, Eagle On The Hill, Montefiore Hill)
  12. You know who Stormy Summers is
  13. You know what Fruchocs are
  14. You believe that anything that has ever breathed or moved in Adelaide air is 'Adelaide's Own'
  15. You're well aware that for one month of the year, it is impossible to travel from one side of the city to the other, and during this period you will magically acquire a passion for V8s, a love of the arts, appreciation for world music, expertise in food and wine and become completely immersed in the culture of horse racing.
  16. You pour Farmer's Union Iced Coffee on your breakfast cereal.
  17. You will never forgive Melbourne for stealing our Grand Prix. ..Never.
  18. You know how 'dance', 'pool', 'castle' and 'graph' are SUPPOSED to be pronounced.
  19. You get offended when people from Western Australia call SA part of the "East Coast".
  20. You insist on calling AAMI Stadium, "Footy Park".
  21. You say a Pie Floater tastes great just to maintain your street cred.
  22. You consider Coopers to be a food group.
  23. You believe that other states' time zones are not good enough for us.
  24. You acknowledge that, while half of our state is uninhabitable, you know that it's still the greatest.
  25. You think the 'Tiser has no journalistic integrity whatsoever.... and yet you still read it every day.
  26. You vote for Mike Rann in every State election, mainly because you can't remember the other guy's name.
  27. You know there's more than one way to have a good time in Hindley Street.
  28. You buy your CDs from shabby "Big Star" outlets
  29. You know that Victor Harbor is the only place to be for Schoolies.
  30. You forgave the Chapels for the 1981 Underarm Incident purely out of South Australian patriotism.
  31. You have a unfettered love of either Crows or Port to the complete exclusion of the
  32. You know the people out on the Torrens are either tourists or rowers. No one else would go near that water.
  33. You think the Festival Centre is a wonder of modern architecture.
  34. You console yourself that, despite all our faults, at least South Australia wasn't built by convicts.
  35. You can leave work at 5:15 and miss "peak hour traffic"
  36. You can have a good old laugh at the fact that Adelaide's second name is "City of Churches"
  37. You're not scared by Aboriginals walking around Adelaide in speedos and gumboots
  38. Your 'sports gurus' are KG and Cornesy
  39. You know what a 'stobie pole' is
  40. You don't know what the meaning of the "Mall's balls" but you make sure you
    meet people there You either live on one side or the other of the great divide
    (Gepps Cross intersection)
  41. You're aware that everything is not just good, it's "heaps good"
  42. You still claim Anthony LaPaglia as an Adelaidean cos he worked in a shoe shop in Rundle Mall once.
  43. You understand that the Adelaide Cup Holiday HAD to be moved to the Summer months so more people would get drunk and not have to go to work.
    And on a final note...don't believe the rumours. I lived in South
    Australia and have never been murdered once.


    DAMN! I MISS ADELAIDE................
    ................... coming soon,
    'BiskutNaga & Shoddy Blogs Top 10 Things We miss about Adelaide'

Sunday, July 01, 2007

BiskutNaga's 4 Types of Gays

I have successfully categorized Gays into 4 main sub groups. This are purely my own observations. I'm am not trying piss off gay people but merely providing valuable insight for straight people so we are better prepared in being more aware of our surroundings. There are those that will say that Lesbians are also called Gay, but for this entry, I'm not talking about Lesbians. From these various types, you can develop your own informed opinions and reactions towards future gay encounters. At the same time you yourself will know where you stand in life.
Type 1 - The Full Version 'might-as-well-be woman' Gay
These are those that have gone all out to change genders. So far as to undergo a sex operation and taking hormone injections to induce once a month menstrual crying (PMS). These are for all intensive purposes are the perfect woman, having being Men at one point, they understand all the little nuances of manhood. They give the best oral sex and can never get pregnant thus making them the best one night stands. Generally these are termed Transvestites or Transgender but lets not call an apple a peach. Gay is gay no matter how you label or look at it. Which now brings me to Type 2.

Type 2 - The Half Cross or Full Drag Gay
These are the ones that dress up and play woman. Some do a Partial Cross, i.e a little lipstick and blusher on cheeks and some go ALL OUT. They are generally well versed at make-up application because an depth study and practice was applied (as only a man would mind you). They are good singers and are great for public gatherings, like a funfair or parade. Some have done so well with their ensembles, that credit must be given. At first glance, they will catch your eye mistaking them for a famous celebrity of which their ensemble has been based upon. Most often that not, encounters are in dimly lit area like a night club, so their imperfections, i.e Adam's apple, can be easily be masked by the shadows. Recently, the Duck Tape company sponsored the Gay parade in New Orleans. For examples of Type-2s, watch 'Priscilla Queen of the Desert' or 'Too Wong Foo Thank you Julie Newmar'.

Type 3 - The Metro Soft Flexible Gay
This type for me personally is the most irritating type. They generally talk with a lisp while excessively moving body parts like wrist, hands and shoulders. Phrase's like "Absolutely Fabulous" and "You go Girl" are commonly used. These are the ones that dress in the latest fashions and know if you are wearing last season's shoes. These are the ones that quick to point out how if you like a certain type of music, say Barbara Streisand, then you MIGHT be Gay and are cordially invited to 'come out of the closet'. If you happen dress well and be generally well groomed, then the term Metrosexual is quickly slapped on you. This of course is a sub-set of Type 3 and 4. A very prominent Type-3 is the runway coach Miss J, from America's Next Top Model. Ironically it takes a man to teach women how to walk properly.

Type 4 - The Alpha Gay
This version is the most dangerous. There is something almost covert about the whole thing. These are Men man Men. They are big, strong, and nothing feminine about them at all. They play sports, they spit, they fart, hell, they do pretty much everything a man does except be attracted to Women. These are the ones that break women's hearts and give women hope of converting back to Straight-ness. Type-3s are attracted to Type-4s as generally they are ones 'giving' while the Type-3 normally 'receives'. Rock Hudson and the Movie Brokeback Mountain are prime examples of Type-4.

Please understand, that if YOU happen to gay and are angered in anyway with this entry, at NO point did I condemn your action or choice in life. I am merely stating observational facts. My comments are to be taken lightly and to be enjoyed as social satire. If you CHOOSE to berate me with angry gay phrases like, "You are homophobic!" then you truly are Gay as you see the need to voice out your lack of rights and social acceptance. You have missed the point. AGAIN. Girl!

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