Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Top 10 reasons why we SHOULD support pirated Media


1. Free black plastic bag
You can't get those cool black colored bags anywhere ones sold outside are too big and they are meant for the big rubbish bin.

2. Family bonding activity
Every weekend, when you go to street market vendors, you can see little kids running to the VCD/DVD shop to select their favorite Pokemon cartoon. And then mommy will come along to find her favorite compilation DVD The best of Kevin Costner movies. Daddy is searching for the latest movies and trying to see if there's any new porn. Anyway, the point being that this activity something a family can do together.

3. The Cinema sucks (well in Malaysia anyway)
When you arrive at the cinema, you have to queue for 15 minutes to get your ticket. By the time you get to the top of the line, chances are its sold out. So you end up buying tickets for the next show and have to wait another 3 hours. When the time comes, the ticket usher stops you from bringing in your Big Mac and Fries. So now, you're forced to queue up for another 20 minutes at the snack bar. Of course by now you've missed the preview trailers and the first part of the movie. Its dark and you trip over yourself to find you seat. Even if you manage to get to your seats in time, you are still bombarded with 15 minutes of commercials. Mostly beer commercials about super success that comes from drinking beer. Mid way through the movie, you have your mandatory 'ring' of the chinaman's mobile. Losing things in the dark is almost a right of passage. Finally, after the end credits have rolled, there is no way of relieving your bladder in a hurry, as you hurd out slowly like cattle to the slaugter.

4. The best customer service ever
From the moment you start browsing, you are greeted with an enthusiastic 'wassup!'. Ever willing to recommend you the best of the 'top ten' box office movies (according to a print out from Yahoo! Movies). Strangely enough, all movies (according to them) are excellent and are of DVD quality. How is it the that a movie that premiered last week, can be a newly released DVD? Don't worry, any problems with the DVD, it can be exchanged, no questions asked. Not quite 'money back guarentee' but close enough for Malaysia.

5. Support Malaysian made products
This says it all. Buying local made products helps stimulate economy and improve consumer spending.

6. No censorship
In Malaysia you have several censorship catagories, but quite frankly there really only 2. There is 'G' for General Viewing and '18SX' for over 18s. Here is the funny part, if you go to watch an '18SX' movie, the government STILL censors the movie, removing all nudity, coarse language and sexual references. So what is the point of these censorship guidelines then? There is no such thing in pirated media. You buy what you like and watch what you like.

7. Pirated media is cheap
Since the increase in original CD prices due to import duties, tax and other crap, piracy has been on the rise for the last 10 years. Original media is also slow to release its new releases due to the following of marketing campaigns of each individual country. Piracy offers a cheap alternative to consumers for the latest movies and software available now.

8. Promotes inovation that leads to higher quality products
With cheap readily available 3D rendering computer software, Malaysian pirates can learn to master to accurately copy those complex DVD menu systems that animate and entertain as we search the chapters. This in turn results in high quality DVD reproductions, sometimes better than the original version.

9. Enables high turnover of movie viewing and ownership
Pirated movies are so cheap that you can throw them away after viewing. They are definately cheaper than renting thus allowing for recklessly greedy purchasing habits. Not every movie is a "Lawrence of Arabia", so throw away the crap ones and keep the good ones. Movies are ment to be watched. In this case, in bulk.

10. Piracy is eco-friendly and promotes recycling
Due to the copius amounts of plastic involved with the manufacturing of discs. The overspill of plastic media is abundant both on the manufacturing side and the consumer side, hence a readily available source of recyclable plastic.

*This post was taken and edited from an email I received earlier today.

Monday, August 28, 2006

A Happy Blog Entry

Hello world! What a wonderful day this is. The birds are chirping, the sky is blue, the sun is shining and the air is fresh. I am filled with so many positive thoughts that I'm absolutely brimming with confidence. I can achieve anything, I can do anything, I will do everything.

My period ended yesterday and I no longer have to wear that comfortable Tampon. The cramps are gone and my headaches have subsided. I am happy. I don't have to be irritable, I don't have to cry for no reason and I can now go back to my 'Thai-bo' classes. Yea! Well at least till my next cycle.

What a great day for womanhood. My womb is ready for a seed. I am ready to be a wife and a mother. I have no biological clock. I am all woman. Oh look a flower. How beautiful things seem today. I love everyone. I love you. Its already 11.30am. Gee I wish this day will never end.

Wentworth Miller is soooooooooooooooooooooo hot. I love him. Watch Prison Break everyone, its the best show on TV..... ever.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Gay ass faggots should be launched into space

POST DELETED


THIS POST HAS BEEN REMOVED (Aug 28th) DUE TO THE OVERWHELMING NEGATIVE RESPONSE TO THE THINGS I HAVE SAID ABOUT HOMESEXUALS.

THERE ARE TOO MANY 'TOUCHY' PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD FOR MY WORDS.

SOME SUBJECTS ARE BETTER LEFT ALONE.

This proves that there is NO such thing as freedom of speech and freedom of thought.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

What a loser Siti Nurhaliza is

Now this post may have little relevance to some of my readers outside of Malaysia. I feel I should say something about this whole Siti - Datuk 'K' wedding issue. It has caused such a stir with the Malaysian public. People are so damn upset. For the past week, my friends have requested me to say something about Siti. So here goes.

A bit of background first. Siti Nurhaliza has been undoubtedly the queen of music in Malaysia for past 2 decades. The true Malaysian Idol. Anyway, for years Siti has embodied the essence of Malaysian beauty. She has been regarded as the perfect Malaysian woman. Sweet, pretty, soft spoken, well-mannered, religious, talented, business savvy and a virgin. Bringing Siti home will make any mother jump up with glee. Siti has had a zillion hit records. She has won all the awards there is. She is a millionaire in her own right. Bottom line is she can have anyone she wants.

Which brings me to the issue at hand. The truth was revealed on 17th July 2006 that Siti Nurhaliza & Dato Khalid will be tying the knot on 21st August 2006. Dato Khalid or 'K', is an old ass married man with 4 kids in their teens. Malaysia has a population of 20 million and this 'K' fella is the best she find?

Today, Siti made a press statement saying she is not a home-wrecker. Dato 'K' is still trying to finalize his divorce in time for the wedding date. Malaysia is in shock.

At an afternoon meeting with a group of media members at the Sri Pentas Penthouse in Bandar Utama yesterday, she denied allegations that she was responsible for
the breakup of KhalidĂ‚’s marriage to Tengku Zawyah Tengku Idzham. "It hurts when
people label me with all kinds of names. But, what can I do except to prepare
myself to face them," she said, adding that her initial relationship with Khalid
was due to business. The allegations had been coming thick and fast ever since
Siti Nurhaliza announced her wedding plans last month. It got worse when the
singer decided not to "retaliate". Siti Nurhaliza, who was smiling radiantly,
said she had now plucked up enough courage to face up to the adverse perceptions
some people had about her love life, adding that Khalid was her "first true
love".

Here is what I say. The Khalid fella is a horny old man that is going through a mid-life crisis. He managed to somehow sweet talk his way into Siti's heart with all his 80's charm. And now his is milking this for all its worth. No doubt Siti will be paying to lion's share of the wedding bill. The wedding will have live TV coverage that will be beamed to Indonesia as well. There will be a horse drawn carrage, tiaras, a convention hall and almost all the royal families attending to wedding. Wedding of the year it seems. More like a massive ego stroking exercise if you ask me. Ultimately this guy will sap Siti's money dry and leave her when she is shrivelled and loose. I can't feel sorry for Siti though. Its nobody's fault she is monumentally stupid. As the saying goes, 'you can take the girl outta the village, but you can't take the village out of the girl'. What a loser.

Friday, August 11, 2006

New entertainment guidelines

Yesterday, on the front page of a local newspaper, the Malaysian govenrment has annouced guidelines for concerts and such. Foreign acts performing in the country have to abide by the rules set by the authorities. To avoid any ambiguity, the Central Agency for the Application for Filming and Performance by Foreign Artiste (Puspal) has spelled out the do's and don't's in no uncertain terms. I strongly believe that these rules are unrealistic and archaic, and I recommend the Government to chill out!

All this has come about mainly to the recent Pussycat Dolls concert. The Pussycat Dolls stopped by and put the 'Don't Cha' wish-you-can-pull-my-pants-off show. Many felt that their show was all too porno-ish. Newsflash! to all you ignorant Malaysians, porno is so easy to come by these days. Just type 'tits' or 'nude' in Google and instantly you are barraged with images of lust. The key here is 'you must type', meaning it is a choice. Similarly it is a choice to buy the tickets to go see the concert. If you are fan, then you know what the show is gonna be like. You've seen the CD cover and I'm sure you've seen the MTV video. So? why the sudden shock when they replicate the show for you live? What? Must they wear unflattering 'Jedi' robes and stand still and sing? Come on.

Just read this and you tell me, what the hell...

THE guidelines from Puspal or the Central Agency for the Application for Filming and Performance by Foreign Artiste state that once a show is approved, foreign artistes are strongly prohibited from:
* Behaving improperly, such as jumping about, shouting or throwing things on stage or towards the audience;
* Acting or saying things with sexual innuendos, or in their dance moves; hugging or kissing the audience or fellow artistes;
* Saying or doing things which can be interpreted as an act of attracting attention to or idolising a particular society or religion that can affect the political situation and stability of the country; and
* Performing in the nude or stripping while performing.

On dress codes, foreign artistes have to observe the following:
* A female artiste must cover herself from the top of her breast to the knee;
* A male artiste must cover himself from the chest to the knee; and
* A female artiste performing belly dancing must cover her abdomen with at least a ‘net’ type of material with designs.

If there is anyone to blame, it should be the idiot or idiots that issue the permits for concerts in the first place. A friend of mine in the event management business said that it takes about a month for a concert permit to be issued because it must have six signatures. That's six idiots that have been living in a cave or playing golf on an island for last 5 years, to not know who The Pussycat Dolls are. They must have thought it was an application for a porcelain feline toys exibition. Ignorant fools. Again, we live in a world with the Internet, if you don't know something, open a browser and do a search. The short skirts will be an indication that The Pussycat Dolls may not be suitable for Malaysia. As always, only after ignorant public outcry do the authorites act.

I know we are a Muslim nation but, the most of the acts are not. Mariah ain't gonna wear a 'hijab' on her head. Nor can we force her. For tolerence sake, for multiracialism sake, please la, have the common sense. If it offends you then don't expose yourself to it or don't approve the permit. Thats what censorship ratings at movies are for. For you to make and informed decision. Rated 'R' means the movie has got things that might offend and is not suitable for children. So dont watch the movie because it WILL offend you. SO................... DONT SEE IT. I say have a censorship rating for concerts and shows as well, then inform the public what they are about to see.
IT.... SHOULD BE...... A..... CHOICE.
For crying out loud, bitch!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Mid-Life Crisis?

Some people seem to think that I'm going through a Mid-Life crisis. Why? It seems that now that I'm 31, I should dress and act a certain way. What way? Actually, I myself don't know what Midlife crisis is. And so, I 'Google' it as one does these days. Come to think of it, I think it will be ok to throw out that Britanicca Encyclopedia set at home. Any how, this is the definition:-

A mid-life crisis is an emotional state of doubt and anxiety in which a person becomes uncomfortable with the realization that life is halfway over. It commonly involves reflection on what the individual has done with his or her life up to that point, often with feelings that not enough was accomplished. The individuals experiencing such may feel boredom with their lives, jobs, or their partners, and may feel a strong desire to make changes in these areas. The condition is also called the beginning of individuation, a process of self-actualization that continues on to death. The condition is most common ranging from the ages of 35-50, and affects men and women differently. Mid life crisis last abnout 5-10 years in men and 2-5 years in women, but length may vary in some people.


If I'm going through mid-life crisis, then that means I'm gonna die at the age of 62. Am I going through a crisis? Is that why I dress like a Rapper? Is that why I enjoy Linsey Lohan movies? Is it wrong that I love 80s music? Should I stop looking at photos of the Prom? Do I feel like I've not accomplished anything? Is this the reason I blog? Who actually, honestly, cares about what I have to say about anything? Should I change? What have I realized? Self actualization? Actualize what? Oh God. Should I be depressed? Am I depressing you? Am I depressing myself with all this talk of mid-life bullshit? Or is it that because I talk about and obviously think about it, that it ultimately makes me believe that I am going though a crisis? Paralysis by analysis?

At the end of the day, I say this... If I am going through one, so be it. I think what is important is to live day by day and be happy about the things you have. And be greatful. Anyway, I don't think I'm going through a crisis, I'm too cool to be in crisis.

Friday, August 04, 2006

A poem.

Today I wake up feeling blue. I feel inspired to write something morose. A poem of sorts. Who cares.

Oh how the day has risen,
My heart filled with sorrow,
I yearn for yesterday and tomorrow,
Will there be retribution for this day?

Oh how despair fills the air,
My innards want to come outwards,
I lack the will to function,
Slap me now.

Oh look a knife,
My fingers longing to touch,
I wonder can it slice cleanly?
One slit is all i need.

Oh I ponder the times of old,
How simple the knights once rode,
Wake to fight and honor is theirs,
A damsel's distress, a meaning to live.

Oh alas I wake,
The cold of water restores my fate,
I dress alive with colors of red,
One more day we will struggle to take.

Live. I say. Live today.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Mel Gibson in Hot Bar Mitzvah Soup!

Mel Gibson The Road Warrior Wallace, has really shot himself in the foot this time. He was already skating on thin ice with that Jesus movie, and now this.
On July 28th last Friday, Mel Gibson was clocked driving his Lexus 87mph in a 45mph zone on the Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu, and arrested on suspicion of DUI. Apparently while being questioned by the police, Mel uttered some anti-Semitic slurs like "you Jews rule the world" or "you must be a Jew... Bitch!". Yesterday, faced with growing outrage over his remarks, Mel Gibson offered a second apology, this time specifically imploring the forgiveness of Jews and asking for meetings with Jewish leaders who might help him find 'the appropriate path for healing.' He continued, in part: "I want to apologize specifically to everyone in the Jewish community for the vitriolic and harmful words that I said to a law enforcement officer the night I was arrested on a D.U.I. charge. I am a public person, and when I say something, either articulated and thought out, or blurted out in a moment of insanity, my words carry weight in the public arena."
This whole Jew-Christian-Islam issue is the most sensitive issue ever in our history. Its a subject that has not and probably will not be resolved, ever. If you think otherwise then you are truly naive and blindly optimistic. We all have our own opinions on the subject.
In the case of our friend Mel, well, its either he is damn stupid or damn smart. I think he is smart. He has to be. Surely he knows that Hollywood and the media in general are, by coincidence, run by people of the Jewish religion. Sure he knows that a movie like 'The Passion' will stir up controversy. I'm sure that was his plan. He is a motion picture icon. Icon meaning that he's been in 'the game' for decades. To stay in the game, you need the public to remember you. Whether it be for great performances and achievements, or for controversy. It all boils down to, publicity. What better way than to use a platform like this sensitive issue. He knows news of this nature will reach everyone in the world. Beggars in Mongolia will know about Mel Gibson and this incident as they snuggle in yesterday's newspaper. People will watch his movies either way. He could make a movie about the welding process of aluminium and people will watch it because of all this. Good or bad the review, more importantly, people cared to review it. As the people of today tire and get bored easily, the entertainment industry needs to get more creative. Brilliant la this fella actually. At the end of the day, whatever he truly feels about the Jews deep down, its win-win for Mel Gibson. At the end of the day, it gets dark.

 Does anyone still use this???   Seriously.....