Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The differences between Hongkies, Singaporeans, Indonesians and Malaysians

Its that time again for an email forwarded to me, too good not to share.

Being Hongkies (Hong Kong people) is good because...
1. We are Hongkies and not Chinese.
2. We can rude and shout and nobody gives a damn.
3. Jackie Chan is our idol.
4. We can live in a 5' x 5' cubicle and call it a luxury apartment. We even need to pay $10,000 a month for this cubicle. Bargain!
5. Our children can speak Cantonese at a young age.
6. We get to blame everything on Feng Shui or Tung Chee Hwa or the mainland communists.
7. Gambling is more interesting than sex. Macau is the place to go for thrills!
8. We produce a lot of Miss Hong Kong to the enjoyment of the rich and famous.

We love being Singaporean because...
1. We are not Malaysians.
2. Everyone (especially the Malaysian) hates us, except ourselves.
3. Famous for Orchard Road and we love Geylang. Geylang is the place to go for thrills!
4. We have our own island.
5. We will never ever have yucky chewing gum stuck under our shoes.
6. We know how to enjoy our vacation in Malaysia - keep a few RM50 notes before you enter the highway: You can throw anything, anytime, anywhere and always wash our cars at the resort.
7. We can speed up to 180 kilometers per hour and not end up with a summon as long as we have RM50 ready for the cops.
8. The men are always concerned, first question to ask a girl "Do you have CPF?" (Central Provident Fund is a comprehensive social security savings plan for citizens old age)
9. Never fear getting lost in our country - S$20 taxi ride will get you into the sea. Hahaha!
10. We'll never have to worry about finding Mr or Ms right because the government will find one for us.
11. 1 Singapore dollar = 2.5 Ringgit (RM) ...
12. It's OK to be Kiasu. It's part of our culture.

  • KIASU(kee-ah-soo)Hokkien adjective literally meaning, "afraid of losing". A highly pejorative description beloved of Singaporeans. Possibly their defining national characteristic. The nearest English equivalent is "dog in a manger", though even that is pretty mild."You went to get a handicapped sticker just to get a parking space? How kiasu can you get?"

Top reasons for being Indonesian are as follows...
1. We are not Australian.
2. We are the biggest country in South East Asia . Enough said.
3. No pirates in Indonesia waters if you exclude the Navy and Coast guards.
4. Everything is dirt cheap, even our salaries...
5. We can blame everything on Suharto or BJ Habibie or Gus Dur or Megawati or whoever that's next!
6. Only in Indonesia can you get involved in real demonstrations daily, for different causes and see no results.
7. Our Rupiah is like a Yo Yo, it can go up and down just because IMF say so...
8. We burn everything and nobody gives a damn. We cause haze all over the South East Asia and nobody can do a thing...
9. We don't need fire fighters as our neighbours will provide...

Being a Malaysian is the best because...
1. World tallest twin towers, Best F1 circuit, largest roti canai, most expensive toll rates, ...because "Malaysia Boleh!" (Malaysia can)
2. We can be driving, picking our nose, cursing another driver, talking on the cell phone, adjusting the radio and bribe the traffic police at the same time.
3. We can divorce via SMS.
4. Traffic summons can be settled on the spot with the traffic police.
5. We have Teh Tarik & Roti Canai on the Russian space ship.
6. We can save a lot of electricity because our TV shows are so crappy.
7. We can blame everything on the haze or George Soros or government or opposition parties or...
8. Resourceful City Council, one person to drive the van, one to carry the ladder, one to change a street's bulb and three others watching...
9. We make a 2 lane trunk road into 3 lane highway and then back to 2 lanes when the cops are sighted...
10. There's always something for the JKR (road works department) to do. They dig, resurface the road, then dig and resurface again....
11. All main roads are designated highways to allow the government a reason to collect a toll.
12. Our government is NEVER wrong.
13. Our badminton players only win on home grounds because we are back yard champions.
14. We have more water than Singapore ... so there!

Thanks to Anis for forwarding email to me. Some of the grammar was corrected by me. I also added explanations (in italic) for some of the local terms used. Clearly this email was written by Chinese fella, most probably from Singapore. The 'Kiasu' -ness, was quite evident in the writing. The fact that he talked about Singapore second after Hong Kong, indicates that he does not want to be to obvious. Also, notice how he mostly makes fun of Malaysia. What a Bitch Ass! Its no wonder why we hate you so....

1 comment:

Adam said...

Hahaha if he was singaporean, he really owned himself "We have more water than Singapore ... so there!" hahahahaha!

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