Hell in a jar 'Traditional Food Bird Pepper'

I'd like to share with you my recent culinary experience. As you know, we like our food here in Asia spicy, and so Tobascco sauce or chilli condements are always ready near by with every meal. This time, while enjoying a nice slice of Pizza Hut's Hawaiian with some friends, I was offered to try this, Traditional Food Bird Pepper. Bird Pepper? you ask. Exactly. Made in Taiwan, this is a nasty blend of chillies, peppers, oils and probably dwarf toe clippings thrown in for good luck. Not one to shy away from a food tasting challenge. I innocently caked on a spoonful of 'goo' on my slice and proceeded to take a lion's bite. After 3 chews, i suddenly felt the fury of Taiwanese peasant women from the slopes of Gwan-Dong. I could feel the back of my throat begin to burn. I started losing the taste buds on my tougue. My eyes began to tear up. My nose began to run. And then as if this wasn't bad enough, all of the 'Bird Pepper' bits start to cling on to my tonsils. I began to choke. Gasping and struggling, i grabbed the nearest beverage and swallowed, hard. After recovering from this first bite of hell, I took another. The experience was absolutely wonderful. Needless to say, after we finished the Pizza, my stomach was curning. I felt diarrea attackes for the rest of the day. Finally the next morning, i was greeted by my arse singing the song 'Arses of Fire'. And I'd do it all again. I strongly recommend trying Traditional Food Bird Pepper, available at your local china town deli, if not, drop me line, i'll hook you up.