Sunday, February 03, 2008

My Top 10 Favourite Disney Women of All Time

Its that time again for another Top 10 list. This time we look at the magical world of Disney. You may have seen this list before while randomly surfing the net, and so I just thought I'd might as well do mine. My right of passage to the Internet gods perhaps? Anyway, the beauty about these pixel based women, is they never grow old and will always look as pristine as the day they were drawn. One sick thing about this, is also the fact that now, my father, my son and I may share the same lustful view of them and its perfectly fine!
This list will not include animal-type characters like Duchess from 'Aristocats' or Feline from 'Bambi' as that too might be a little too far! Even for me. No doubt they are worthy of being on this list for other reasons of course, mind you. I will start with number 10 and work my way to my all time favourite. I hope you agree with my selection. If not, let me know in the comments section. I love to hear from you. So here we go!

Number 10:- Ariel from 'The Little Mermaid'

I know I said no animal-types but come on, she is at least half human. Don't forget, she does turn into full human at the end of the movie, so no worries. Perhaps underage at the time of the film, but I like to imagine that by 2008, she's all grown up and mature. Definately smoking hot as she wears nothing but sea shells the whole time and that firey carefree personality is always going to be a hit at parties. Also, she is perpetually wet, so thats got to be good, right?









Number 9:- Pocahontas from 'Pocahontas'

Poke a hont's ass... Ah yes, the blood of the true American woman. There is something very sexy about that untamed, wild and hot native american woman. Naive in the ways of western love, these women await to be conquered. I wasn't to keen on this movie however. The only other good thing to have come out of this film is the Vanessa William's song 'Colors of the Wind'. Oh and did I mention I love that long black silky smooth hair, worthy of any Shampoo T.V ad. I imagine she smells nice for some reason, although there was no soap at the time, I'm sure those native Indians had some other natural alternative, like crushed berries and Bison milk or something.







Number 8:- Giselle from 'Enchanted'

Honestly, I prefer the animated Giselle rather than the actress who portrays her in human form, Amy Adams. Some how that red haired freckled face tart just doesn't quite live up to my expectation of a Disney princess. Since 'Enchanted' was released in 2007, Giselle is suppose to epitomize a "Disney Woman", encompassing all of the previous princesses characteristics like Cinderella and Snow White. Somehow I feel no actress would adequately fill these massive shoes and do this role justice. Suffice to say that we should leave fantasy where it belongs, in the fantasy world.







Number 7:- Megara from 'Hercules'

From Greek mythology times, the term 'goddess' never been more appropriate until now. Megara truly is a stunner. She wears, what has to be the softest cotton outfit ever made. The lightest of breezes would undress her. Strong, sexy and able to tame Hercules himself. Makes one wonder if any mere mortal would be man enough for such a woman. Hercules was invited by Zeus to live in Olympus, which was indeed originally his wish, but he decides to live his life on earth as a mortal with Megara. Although he will eventually die, he believes that even an immortal life without Megara would be empty. Enough said.







Number 6:- Jane from 'Tarzan'

Jane just screams hotness. You've got to love the tie and white gloves. Prim, proper and British what more do you want. One concern of course is the fact that she digs the swinging Orangutan type of a man. She likes her man raw and wild. Perhaps she thinks she can tame him or perhaps she is looking to unleash her inner whore-ness through wild animal sex with a sexual beast like Tarzan. We hope for the latter.










Number 5:- Babette/Fifi from 'Beauty and the Beast'

The feather duster from 'Beauty and the Beast' is a minor character with a distinct personality. She is alluring and prissy, can make shallow choices, but has a caring heart. Her animation design is cute and her voicing is tres French. Now for the pressing question...what is her name? In the sequels, she is Fi-Fi, in the musical, she is Babette! Or...are they twins?!? Babette/Fi-Fi in a word is FEMININE. Her famous line from the movie, "Oh, Lumiere, we must do somezing!". French chamber maid? Clean my sheets when I done.








Number 4:- Esmerelda from 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame'

She's a firecracker with social consciences. And boy can she dance! But...what's up with her and that goat? I don't know if the fact that Esmerelda voice was done by Demi Moore or that Demi had just finish making the movie Striptease, but I can tell you her dance moves with a pole was all the rage. Those green eyes and that intense gypsy sexual energy is all I care about. Oh lets not forget that she can tolerate that irritating singing Hunchback. Thank god she doesn't fall for him, then she would be one of those sick, mental chicks and we wouldn't want that to happen.








Number 3:- Aurora from 'Sleeping Beauty'

Aurora, my first love. I think, 'Sleeping Beauty' was the first Disney movie I saw. Princess Aurora is named after the Roman goddess of the dawn "because she fills her father and mother's lives with sunshine." A very beautiful young woman, with shining blond hair, rose-red lips, attractive eyes, and a beautiful singing voice. Here is a tip, if you want a man to wake you with a kiss, go to sleep in full make up and hold a rose.










Number 2:- Jessica Rabbit from 'Who framed Roger Rabbit?'

Although it was made by the Disney studio, the film was released under the Disney subsidiary Touchstone Pictures to save face for Disney, from some of the film's potentially objectionable content.
I think I can safely say, Jessica Rabbit is simply too much woman for any man. Period. I guess thats why she is with a rabbit. A crazy one at that. Only a rabbit would be able to satisfy a woman like Jessica. Ever here the term 'hump like rabbits'? Just look at that hair, those lips and of course those gravity defying boobs all make for one hell of a super woman. Kathleen Turner's husky voice did this pixel vixen justice as you can imagine yourself losing control of your man juice as she calls you over to her side of the bed for a hug. If you even get that far that is.





AND FINALLY

Number 1:- Belle from 'Beauty and the Beast'

My all time, all favorite, all lovely number one pick... Belle. From the first scene where she sings about the baker and his tray, I was hooked. Lets see, she is a brunette, she's European, she is smart, she likes to read, she has a wild imagination, she would do anything to for her father and most of all, she does not fall for the idiot jock. She likes you for who you are on the inside. She does not care about how you look, only that you are kind and decent to her. Women like Belle are few and far in between, and if you find one, you should hang on the her like the Ring from 'Lord of the Rings'. Although innocent in the ways of love, she seemed not at phased of the prospect of being mounted by her half man half wilder beast boyfriend, now THAT is a woman. Oh so lovely Belle.

6 comments:

Unknown said...

Personally id move Meg up to number 2 and swap pocho-watever with Alice from Alice of wonderland....i know shes young now but when she gets old sure GEBU! but no princess comes close to Belle...a well deserved number 1.

Anonymous said...

Hallooooooooo...Jessica Rabbit is NOT a Disney Princess...i'd suggest u replace her with Mulan ;P (i think i felt the poison arrows flying above my head) hahahahahahahaha

Ozi said...

no.... no Mulan... sorry.

I know Jessica isn't a pure Disney movie... but I really really wanted her to be on this list..

I thought about doing a general top 10 animated women.. but that spectrum is a bit too wide... as it is, this took forever to compose and write.

just outside the top 10:-

11, Wendy from Peter Pan
12, Jasmine from Aladdin
13, Alice from Alice in Wonderland
14, Tinkerbelle from Peter Pan
15, Snow White
16, Cinderella

Adam.... Alice will be Gebu.

Anonymous said...

I'm rooting for Jasmine..make a poll lah....u only like Jessica becoz of her tits and ass...but she's bonking a bunny??? wat gives...

Anonymous said...

ozi, you're getting too soft/polite nowadays.. what happenend? reading all your posts from last year to now, i see a softening pattern. how la?? anyway, am not complaining, just commenting.. quite refreshing eh

flaminglambo said...

Great compilation Ozi. Mmmm mmm mmm...Jessica Rabbit. She's smokin'! Notice how the artists made her lady bits jiggle when she moves? Now, THAT's art!

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