The most annoying question of all time

"Hey, how are things?"

One of the most common greetings of modern times. A question that is both vague and at the same time obtrusive. Why the hell does one ask such a rhetorical question anyway? Do you really care how things are doing with the other person? And if so, what of it? When answering a question like this, how much do you tell or How much don't you tell? What happens when too much information has passed and an embarrassing situation arises?

Say for instance, "Hey, how are things?" Answer, "Things are bad, I am having a stomach ache and I need to take a big shit, I predict it will be a shit that will be both soft and very liquid. Also my cat died in my toilet, the smell is quite rank. I will however persevere non the less. Oh and my wife slept with her boss too. Thanks for asking.". So now the person who asked the question in the first place is left bewildered and feeling like shit. He has had a shitty day, that is how things are going for him.

*Ceiling Cat appears courtesy of the shoddyblog

What about the flip side? "Hey, how are things?" Answer, "Things are awesome, I just made my first billion and I'm looking to sink the 50 foot yacht I bought last week because some sad fool's cat died in the toilet and shat on it, So now I want to buy a new one. But first I have to ask my super model girlfriend if she and her model friends want to fly to Monte Carlo with me to pick out a new yacht and go for a test drive. Oh excuse me while I get rid of these pesky 20 dollar notes. I hate small change." What a bastard. But you can't blame him for answering that way, he is happy and rich, that is how things are going with him. You asked didn't you?
So there is no real point in asking this annoying question. Either way, the answer is of no consequence to you.

So I ask you again... why ask the question at all?