20 reason WHY the Transformers Movie is going to suck?

When I heard that there was going to be a live action Transformers The Movie with CGI, I was the first one to stand up a shout 'hell yeah!'. Its "gonna be a classic", I said then. But after some research on the net, my scepticism set in, now I am not to sure anymore.

Here are 20 reasons why it will suck:·

1. In the original series, Bumblebee was named such because he was a yellow Volkswagen "bug". In the movie, he's a Camaro, and he's called Bumblebee because of his eccentric hobby of beekeeping.


2. In the beginning of the film, Optimus Prime has amnesia, and the rest of the Autobots discover him in a gay biker bar, heading up a biker gang called the Hell's Belles.


3. In the original series, Megatron transformed into a Walther P38 pistol. In the movie, he transforms into a pink tyrannosaurus rex holding a squirt gun.


4. In the original series, the Transformers were always on a quest for Energon, the life-granting fuel that gives them sustenance. In the movie, they're on a quest for Transformers the Movie Collectible Trading Cards! COLLECT 'EM ALL!


5. Originally, Soundwave was a cassette player. In the film, he's an iPod, and oldschool cassettes like Ravage and Laserbeak are now fictional hair-metal bands, whose raucous rockin' tunes cause the Autobots to short circuit.


6. In the climax of the film, Optimus Prime doesn't even fight Megatron in an epic battle to save humanity. Instead he tags human Ellen Ripley, who climbs into a dock loader and throws Megatron out the airlock.


7. There is a disturbing lack of Weird Al music in the live-action movie. Surprisingly however, they do have Stan Bush. In fact, he's actually going to perform a song in the movie, and his guitar is going to transform into a rockin' little robot that kicks Starscream in the keister and chases him off stage.


8. In the live-action movie, Optimus Prime has gay flames painted on his chassis. This is actually a "tattoo", and early in the film he is seen grimacing in a tattoo parlor while a burly, hairy leather-clad bald guy lets him have it with the tattoo needle.


9. In the film, Autobot Jazz listens to hip-hop music, and in his robot mode he looks remarkably like Eminem.


10. All of the Decepticons in the film look like Insecticons, the most harmless and cuddly Decepticon sub-group from the old cartoon.


11. In the post-9/11 world, it was decided that having any Decepticons transform into planes was highly inappropriate. Therefore, Starscream was changed from an F-15 into a less menacing hot air balloon.


12. The Dinobots actually do make a brief appearance in the movie, but it's revealed that thanks to their rather conspicuous status of being dinosaurs rather than vehicles, they are forced to remain undercover working at the Universal Studios "Jurassic Park Experience".


13. Did you miss the part where it's a live-action movie based on a popular cartoon and toy-line of the 80s?


14. In a shocking twist at the end of the movie, the audience learns that the Transformers aren't really from outer space at all, but are rather a top secret military project of the US government gone out of control.


15. Starscream now has some serious competition for the title of least-trustworthy Decepticon, in the form of a new character named Corpsebucket, who transforms into a hearse.


16. In an effort to infuse some serious emotional drama into the script, Ratchet, the Autobot medic, gets addicted to painkillers.


17. Thanks to fan support, original voice actor Peter Cullen is going to reprise his role as Autobot leader Optimus Prime. In a follow-up decision baffling everyone, original Megatron voice actor Frank Welker has been replaced by Gilbert Gottfried.


18. The filmmakers really wanted to include the character Grimlock in the movie, but they didn't want another tyrannosaurus (after Megatron), so they decided to change him into a horse named Buttercup. They assure fans however, that though is appearance may be different, his personality will be unaltered.


19. Megatron's face looks like a pocket pussy.


20. In the cartoon, the Transformers impossibly shifted and changed mass as they went from vechicle to robot mode, but the filmmakers wanted to approach that from a more realistic angle. This is why Optimus Prime's trailer no longer disappears into thin air as in the cartoon, and it also explains why he has one really fat leg.

Anyway, I'm calling up this guy, to get my Optimus Prime suit to wear at the movie premiere.

"Autobots! Transform and roll out!"