Seung-Hui Cho, serve you right America!

This is not Seung-Hui Cho by the way.

BANG! BANG! One crazy ass Korean lost the plot and shot a whole bunch people. Many dead. This has left the American people dazed, confused, angered and sad. Its bad enough they are afraid to get on a plane with 'Ahmed Bin Laden', now they can't even go to school for fear some crazy fool will go buck wild and open fire. First let me this clear, I do not condone Cho's actions nor do I think he is justified in anyway whatever his reasons may have been. After reading the various news articles about the shooting, here is my 2 cents.

America is looking to point the finger. Who is to be blamed for this great injustice? Who is at fault? How can they prevent this from happening? I blame the country itself. The United States of America, land of the free. Liberty and justice for all. The American dream. You and your goddamn American citizen rights and shit. How bout you point that finger on yourselves before blaming others. First and foremost you allowed his refuge parents to gain citizenship to begin with. So don't be mad at their 'born in the USA' kid who was simply enjoying his 'freedom'. Land of the free remember? It was your silly gun laws, inline with your liberty/freedom policies, that has lead to this. He was free to enter a pawn shop and buy a gun, then wait a couple of weeks to buy another gun. Hell, if he wanted to go Duck hunting, he could have walked in to WalMart and buy a hunting rifle WITHOUT having to wait. AND PLUS, this Cho fella bought his gun magazines on Ebay.com for gods sake! Enough said.

If you owned a gun, wouldn't you eventually use it? If you say, "no, I will never actually use it,", then aren't you just being silly? Whats the point of owning a gun then? To point it and hope the bad guy runs away? If that's the case, why not just buy those replica handguns that shoots out BB pallets and looks like the real thing. Safe and will get the job done. Guns are made to end life. Period. Guns, put in the hand of any half crazy dick-head like Cho, spells trouble. In all of history, nothing good has ever come from guns apart for making tons of money for people who sell them. You want to do something about this America? Change your gun laws. Ban them. Get them off the streets. That's all.

When I heard about this on the news, I was relieved it was an Asian-type fella, like a Korean. I said "Thank god it wasn't an Arab ". Can you imagine the shit that would have happen then? America invades Jordan perhaps? But wait! now it seems this Cho fella had a tattoo on his forearm with 'Ismail Ax' which is his video game alter-ego name. Suddenly paranoid America and 'the powers' that be, is trying to spin the story to terrorism. Suddenly, this Korean boat fucker is a Muslim and a Terrorist with links to Uzbekistan! "Could the Ax in Ismail Ax, be shorthand for the name Ahmed?" say media reports. Insane in the membrane! Insane in the brain!

Please la, its nobody's fault but your own, America. Its all ways your fault. Just go open any history book. Serve you right.

My sister's room of death

Every so often I would venture into my sister's room just to see what she is up to. For me its like walking into some kind of alternate universe or some kind of twilight zone even. For starters, the room is not your typical square or rectangle in its layout. Its got a zig-zag wall on one side and french doors on the other. Quite bizarre if you ask me. As if that wasn't enough, her bed would sometimes be placed on an angle across the room, just to 'off set' things it seems. Oh my god, lets not forget the beads. Oh yes the beads. A curtain of Balinese ornamental jewels divides the room to create a 'walk in wardrobe' of sorts. An ode to 70's interior design? Perhaps, only my sister knows whats going on there.

"Get me out of here! "

Lets not forget the 'all-of-sudden-its-blue-its-green' bathroom, with a glass tabletop wash basin that has edges so sharp that one slip and you can kiss your wet naked life goodbye. Oh and recently the roof caved in from shoddy workmanship and heavy rain, that it now looks like it was designed that way to begin with. Oddly enough it now fits the whole warped feel of the bedroom. Yea!

Now for some reason, my sister does not strive to make the room comfortable for guests, the room is 'tuned' for her comfort, and rightly so I suppose, but come on. The room does not provide me with a feeling of chill. Maybe this is by design because she needs 'her space', like all Leos do. I can't even properly throw myself on the bed without a fear of breaking the one of a kind wire framed bed. She has satin-type sheets which makes the pillows swish and slide off the bed. This in turn, results in me not being able to lie down properly and place a pillow under my head without straining my neck as I try to 'grip' the pillow with my hair. I would of course sit on the near by dressing table chair but alas, its wooden, hard, and makes my ass feel like someone has been hitting it with a sledgehammer.

The room has four nuclear powered halogen lights that converge into one blinding spot on the bed, so even if you try to relax, it feels like you sunbathing. Beware to those wearing glasses, your eyeballs may spontaneously combust. The heat from the lights is conveniently mixed with lack of oxygen in the room. The lack of moving air is evident as there is no ceiling fan for those lazy Sunday afternoons. Prolonged conversations will cause light headiness and heart beat spasms. It feels like you are perpetually drowning. And God forbid you suggest to switch the air-conditioner on, that's not 'natural'.

When I complained to my sister about all of the above, she says, "Its like training yourself". An explanation that is so characteristic of her and her unique ways. It is simple yet deep in meaning. The room is like a one big 'only for me' domain and everyone else can keep the hell out. Or in this case me. I just can't help but feel that its all meant to be. She is definitely smarter than people give her credit for and like all Leo's, requires you to simply understand and allow.

The most annoying question of all time

"Hey, how are things?"

One of the most common greetings of modern times. A question that is both vague and at the same time obtrusive. Why the hell does one ask such a rhetorical question anyway? Do you really care how things are doing with the other person? And if so, what of it? When answering a question like this, how much do you tell or How much don't you tell? What happens when too much information has passed and an embarrassing situation arises?

Say for instance, "Hey, how are things?" Answer, "Things are bad, I am having a stomach ache and I need to take a big shit, I predict it will be a shit that will be both soft and very liquid. Also my cat died in my toilet, the smell is quite rank. I will however persevere non the less. Oh and my wife slept with her boss too. Thanks for asking.". So now the person who asked the question in the first place is left bewildered and feeling like shit. He has had a shitty day, that is how things are going for him.

*Ceiling Cat appears courtesy of the shoddyblog

What about the flip side? "Hey, how are things?" Answer, "Things are awesome, I just made my first billion and I'm looking to sink the 50 foot yacht I bought last week because some sad fool's cat died in the toilet and shat on it, So now I want to buy a new one. But first I have to ask my super model girlfriend if she and her model friends want to fly to Monte Carlo with me to pick out a new yacht and go for a test drive. Oh excuse me while I get rid of these pesky 20 dollar notes. I hate small change." What a bastard. But you can't blame him for answering that way, he is happy and rich, that is how things are going with him. You asked didn't you?
So there is no real point in asking this annoying question. Either way, the answer is of no consequence to you.

So I ask you again... why ask the question at all?

Dry Australian Humor - 'Qantas Gripe Sheet'

One of the things I miss most about Australia was the extremely dry humor of Australians. I miss good old school days when the fellas and I, at 'The Flat', use to joke around. This email I received reminded me of those days. I thought I might post so, here.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then the pilots review the gripe sheets right before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some of the actual maintenance complaints submitted by the Qantas' pilots (as marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (as marked with an S) by the maintenance engineers. By the way, it is relevant to note that Qantas is the only major airline in the world that has never, ever, had an accident!

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in the cockpit.
S: Something tightened in the cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of a leak on the right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume reset to a more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: The number 3 engine is missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after a brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

And the best one saved for last......

P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from the midget.

Ahhhhhhhhh Good times long gone................. ay Beef?

American Idol Season 6 Sucks Ass!

As you may or may not know, I am a big Idol fan. Last year, I raved on about Katharine McPhee and how insanely hot she was and still is. Last season, the top 12 singers were outstanding with anyone of them having a real chance of winning. In the end the grey haired Taylor Hicks won the votes over Kat. Oh well, still it was an awesome season. I even joined the Katharine McPhee fan club. What a sicko I am. In the end her album isn't that good anyway but that's a whole other blog entry.

This season however has not created much excitement in me. One reason being there isn't a McPhee-type beauty. Jordin Sparks catches my eye but her voice is not as good as Kat's. The guys all suck this season. Maybe that Justine Timberlake copycat has a chance. Its all down to votes. Speaking of votes, does anyone wonder why that Sanjaya Malakar the Indian fruitcake is still in it? I tell you why, one word, 'outsourcing'. There must be a million Indian I.T and outsourcing people in the states voting their asses off for this guy who is by far the worst finalist Idol has ever seen.

If you talk about world class singers there are only 2, Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones. Whether one of them will win, is still unknown. At the end of the day, although this is a singing competition, the best singer doesn't always win. Americans vote for who they like. Taylor was a lovable guy and you can't help but want him to win. Was he a technically better singer than Kat? No. So this year its all up for grabs. I will still tune in to see what happens, but NOT religiously this time round I'm affraid. Oh and here is another picture of Kat, just in case you forgot.

This picture was taken as she was leaving my house some time last week.... in the morning.

20 reason WHY the Transformers Movie is going to suck?

When I heard that there was going to be a live action Transformers The Movie with CGI, I was the first one to stand up a shout 'hell yeah!'. Its "gonna be a classic", I said then. But after some research on the net, my scepticism set in, now I am not to sure anymore.

Here are 20 reasons why it will suck:·

1. In the original series, Bumblebee was named such because he was a yellow Volkswagen "bug". In the movie, he's a Camaro, and he's called Bumblebee because of his eccentric hobby of beekeeping.


2. In the beginning of the film, Optimus Prime has amnesia, and the rest of the Autobots discover him in a gay biker bar, heading up a biker gang called the Hell's Belles.


3. In the original series, Megatron transformed into a Walther P38 pistol. In the movie, he transforms into a pink tyrannosaurus rex holding a squirt gun.


4. In the original series, the Transformers were always on a quest for Energon, the life-granting fuel that gives them sustenance. In the movie, they're on a quest for Transformers the Movie Collectible Trading Cards! COLLECT 'EM ALL!


5. Originally, Soundwave was a cassette player. In the film, he's an iPod, and oldschool cassettes like Ravage and Laserbeak are now fictional hair-metal bands, whose raucous rockin' tunes cause the Autobots to short circuit.


6. In the climax of the film, Optimus Prime doesn't even fight Megatron in an epic battle to save humanity. Instead he tags human Ellen Ripley, who climbs into a dock loader and throws Megatron out the airlock.


7. There is a disturbing lack of Weird Al music in the live-action movie. Surprisingly however, they do have Stan Bush. In fact, he's actually going to perform a song in the movie, and his guitar is going to transform into a rockin' little robot that kicks Starscream in the keister and chases him off stage.


8. In the live-action movie, Optimus Prime has gay flames painted on his chassis. This is actually a "tattoo", and early in the film he is seen grimacing in a tattoo parlor while a burly, hairy leather-clad bald guy lets him have it with the tattoo needle.


9. In the film, Autobot Jazz listens to hip-hop music, and in his robot mode he looks remarkably like Eminem.


10. All of the Decepticons in the film look like Insecticons, the most harmless and cuddly Decepticon sub-group from the old cartoon.


11. In the post-9/11 world, it was decided that having any Decepticons transform into planes was highly inappropriate. Therefore, Starscream was changed from an F-15 into a less menacing hot air balloon.


12. The Dinobots actually do make a brief appearance in the movie, but it's revealed that thanks to their rather conspicuous status of being dinosaurs rather than vehicles, they are forced to remain undercover working at the Universal Studios "Jurassic Park Experience".


13. Did you miss the part where it's a live-action movie based on a popular cartoon and toy-line of the 80s?


14. In a shocking twist at the end of the movie, the audience learns that the Transformers aren't really from outer space at all, but are rather a top secret military project of the US government gone out of control.


15. Starscream now has some serious competition for the title of least-trustworthy Decepticon, in the form of a new character named Corpsebucket, who transforms into a hearse.


16. In an effort to infuse some serious emotional drama into the script, Ratchet, the Autobot medic, gets addicted to painkillers.


17. Thanks to fan support, original voice actor Peter Cullen is going to reprise his role as Autobot leader Optimus Prime. In a follow-up decision baffling everyone, original Megatron voice actor Frank Welker has been replaced by Gilbert Gottfried.


18. The filmmakers really wanted to include the character Grimlock in the movie, but they didn't want another tyrannosaurus (after Megatron), so they decided to change him into a horse named Buttercup. They assure fans however, that though is appearance may be different, his personality will be unaltered.


19. Megatron's face looks like a pocket pussy.


20. In the cartoon, the Transformers impossibly shifted and changed mass as they went from vechicle to robot mode, but the filmmakers wanted to approach that from a more realistic angle. This is why Optimus Prime's trailer no longer disappears into thin air as in the cartoon, and it also explains why he has one really fat leg.

Anyway, I'm calling up this guy, to get my Optimus Prime suit to wear at the movie premiere.

"Autobots! Transform and roll out!"

Homeopathy way of life? I think not.

I want to share with you my thoughts on Homeopathic medicine as I experienced it first hand.

And this is what I have concluded. Its bullshit.. pure utter unadulterated monkey crap. I would have had a better result if, I had my pet rabbit shit in my eye and beat myself with the feathers of a dead sparrow while dancing around an open fire.

What I endured was one of pain and suffering. Here in Malaysia you have your usual spread of doctors, specialists and witch doctors, all offering their version of medicinal solutions. One day I was offered by a friend to go for this procedure called 'Bekam'. I don't know if there is an equivalent in English though. Anyway it involves sucking out 'bad blood' from my body. Yep, bad blood. The explanation is that women have their monthly cycle of blood drippings, which of course is glorified by television ads that shows a guy in a white lab coat pouring blue liquid into cotton, and then the woman is able to run a marathon, happy, but that's a whole other blog entry. Anyway, men have no such cycle where we remove 'bad blood' from our body hence the need for 'Bekam'. This oil change as it were, is recommended once or twice a year. by removing blood that has clotted or blood that is old, then your body can make new blood which in turn helps your heart. Your body will suppose to feel fresher and more vibrant. I guess it kind of made sense which is why I agreed to doing it. And also the fact that I'm game to try anything as long as there is no risk of dying of a heart attack.

The first step is to make several minor slits on my back using what felt like the rustiest Gillette blade on the planet. It was like a mice trying to frantically climb out of a deep hole filling up with water for fear of drowning. With these incisions made, the 'doctor' with his many diploma's on the wall mind you, proceeded to suck out the blood using a bell shaped glass and a suction hand pump. Yea!

Now I just sat there waiting to bleed out. The wait was excruciatingly long and unnecessary, coupled with the fact that it hurt like all hell. And so, I was in essence bleeding into five cups. I guess this is something similar to the treatment that involves leeches. I don't which is more barbaric or absurd. Funny enough the blood that was first drawn was a deep dark crimson color with the consistency of jello. You basically have to keep going until all the 'bad blood' is gone and a lighter red emerges. All access blood was wiped off as I had to go for another round after quickly filling up the first 5 cups with my goo. Sterilisation was a little suspect as all the blood was wiped off with toilet paper no less. The blade was probably used by a prior patient who had AIDS knowing my luck.

And so, was all this worth it? Is it all lies? I can tell you I felt light headed for a few days to which my friend said that that was normal. Normal my ass. Nothing normal about it. Not to mention the fact that my back looked like an over sized dice. Roll me over. Has this help my health any and way? Or better yet, can the heath benefits be quantified? But then again that would mean some component of science involved to give this some legitimacy. But that's not Homeopathy now is it?