Women of Yesteryear No.11

This post is specially for a friend of mine who after reading my blog, messaged me and insisted, at 2 in the morning, that I include Erin Grey in my top 10 list. Going so far as to have me 'bump the bond chick off' and replace her with Erin. This is my compromise. She was considered my shortlist originally but was not included because her pictures reminded me of my cousin. Shish!! Anyway, here you go.

Number 11:- Erin Grey (the future babe)

Erin was known for her role of Wilma Deering in Buck Rogers in the 25th Century - at first for a theatrically released movie, then for a recurring TV show. Gray's trim, shapely figure, augmented by a tight one piece jumpsuit, was popular with the show's predominantly young male audience. However, the character was high profile within the show, second only to Gil Gerard in the lead role, and represented one of the early examples of a strong female character in a science fiction setting; because of this she was seen as important role model for female viewers. She once told an interviewer, “I was the first female colonel. I enjoyed being that kind of role model for young women watching the show. A woman can be a colonel! A woman can be in charge! Those were new ideas then. Ah whatever!

BiskutNaga's Top 10 Women of Yesteryear

The time has come for a top ten list! Here is my list of the hottest women that i have had a crush on when I was a wee lad. Most of these women are old and grey, some are dead. But lets not focus on that, lets remember them as they were. At their prime. Try to imagine that they are your age, single, in-to-you and sitting right next to you reading this blog with you, with their arms around you. Makes it more fun rather than look up where are they now and being horrified to see how some have not aged gracefully or worse, dead. So please don't judge me. Let's enjoy. Once again, I prefer not to place them in any particular order, but for the sake of a 'top ten' list, I will try.

Number 10:- Maren Jensen (the original interstellar babe)

Maren best known for portraying Athena in the 1970s television series Battlestar Galactica. I use to think she was the hottest babe on television. I always wondered what happen to her after Battlestar. I never saw her in anything else. Apparently, Maren was one of the first Hollywood Actors to get sick with Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome. The illness contributed to her leaving the acting profession. That figures. In any case, we remember you, Maren.





Number 9:- Joan Severance (B-Movie babe of choice)

Joan usually takes the femme fatale roles in lower budget horror and murder mystery movies, most notably Lake Consequence (1993), Criminal Passion (1994) and Payback (1995). She memorably featured alongside Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder in the 1989 comedy See No Evil, Hear No Evil. I particularly remember a shower scene in that movie, I would pause and slow-mo the video tape over and over. She was hot and had a killer body. Joan was on the covers of the January 1990 and November 1992 issues of Playboy magazine, both featuring her in a nude pictorial. Her pictures are considered some of the most distinctive examples of nude modeling of an actresses of her generation.

Number 8:- Morgan Fairchild (80s super-biatch)

Fairchild is unique in the sense that she has never had a starring role in a successful film or television series. She cultivated an image through her glamor as well as her extremely professional and courteous personality. Quite a contrast from the "divas" she tends to portray. In 1982 she played Jamie Douglas, a newscaster, in the sexy thriller The Seduction, where her riveting nude scene cemented her position as one of Hollywood's bad girls. Growing up, she was the 'older woman' that I wish would corner me in a room at a party and seduce me. Teach me in the ways of love. Sadly that never happened. Oh well.

Number 7:- Karen Velez (all time favorite playmate)

She was Playboy's Playmate of the Month for December 1984 and became the Playmate of the Year in 1985. Velez was the first Puerto Rican Playboy Playmate of the Year as well as the first Puerto Rican Playmate of the Month to be featured in the magazine in chronologically consecutive order after another Hispanic Playmate of the Month. I believe I first saw her in a playmate centerfold video. Man, did that tape change my world. Till this day, I don't think there has ever been another playmate quite like her. Of course, this is just my opinion. I'm sure you have your favorite. Pamela? Jenny? Anna Nicole? Nah. Just Karen thanks.

Number 6:- Kelly LeBrock (fantasy girl come-to-life)

Kelly is known for her acting debut in The Woman in Red, and later on in the film, Weird Science. Weird Science is one of the best 80's comedy that was ever made. It's a corny, dated quality but one that is tangible and valued by my fellow eighties loving fans to this day. What more could a day dreaming boy like me ask for? The ability to make your dream girl. Cut out and scan female body parts from magazines. Then have the computer make a woman come to life. Genius. Oh I love her English accent. I think she is the reason I find British women so attractive. Classy.

Number 5:- Pam Dawber (the Mindy to my Mork)

Her character was the comedic foil and eventual love interest for Robin Williams' character, Mork from the planet "Ork". As any boy growing up in the 80s, I my think self esteem was low, not to mention insecure about girls. For me I think it was the fact Pam's charcter Mindy loved Mork no matter what. Robin Williams isn't the most stunning man, but he was funny. Mindy loved Mork for the person inside and that's why she was so attractive to me. With a girl like this, you can be yourself, fart, and she'll still love you.

Number 4:- Amanda Pays (hot homebase computer babe)

Just to make my point about hot women from England, here is Amanda Pays. Pays is best known for her roles as Theora Jones in the movie and television series Max Headroom and as Christina "Tina" McGee in The Flash. Those smoking, longing eyes made the Flash run back to home base ever so quickly. She represents the typical 'I'm the hot yet innocent but am also smart because I'm English' type women of Hollywood typecasting. Winner.

Number 3:- Phoebe Cates (the bring home to mom girlfriend)

Phoebe Cates best known for her roles in several teen films, most notably Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Gremlins. At the height of her popularity, Harper's Bazaar named her as one of America's 10 Most Beautiful Women of 1984. Her later roles were more modest and largely oriented toward younger audiences, who remember her best as the female lead in the two Gremlins films. Her face made the covers of teen magazines such as Seventeen, Tiger Beat, Teen Beat and others. When you talk about the 80s and the women that impacted our lives in TV and film, Phoebe Cates must be one of them. She certainly was for me.

Number 2:- Carole Bouquet (best bond chick ever)

Carole Bouquet is a French actress best known internationally as Bond girl Melina Havelock in For Your Eyes Only. Without a doubt, Carole was and is the best James Bond chick ever. When she says "for your eyes only james" at the end of the movie, I felt almost angry at Roger Moore for being so lucky to be in that scene with her. Bouquet was a model for Chanel in the 1990s. Oh my goodness was she hot.

Number 1:- Isabella Rossellini (ultimate hot woman of yesteryear)

Just check out her full name. Its Isabella Fiorella Elettra Giovanna Rossellini. She is a child of cinema royalty. Her mother, actress Ingrid Bergman, starred in Casablanca, For Whom the Bell Tolls, and Hitchcock's Spellbound. Her father, Roberto Rossellini, was an Italian screenwriter, director, and producer. From 1982-96, she was the celebrity face of Lancôme cosmetics, but the company ended the arrangement, fearing that Rossellini was too old to be seen as attractive. She has continued making films, including Wild at Heart with Nicolas Cage and Wyatt Earp with Kevin Costner. She has also played the fierce aunt Katya on TV's Alias with Jennifer Garner. Chosen by People magazine as one of the 50 Most Beautiful People in the world two years in a row 1990 and 1991. Enough said.

Seung-Hui Cho, serve you right America!

This is not Seung-Hui Cho by the way.

BANG! BANG! One crazy ass Korean lost the plot and shot a whole bunch people. Many dead. This has left the American people dazed, confused, angered and sad. Its bad enough they are afraid to get on a plane with 'Ahmed Bin Laden', now they can't even go to school for fear some crazy fool will go buck wild and open fire. First let me this clear, I do not condone Cho's actions nor do I think he is justified in anyway whatever his reasons may have been. After reading the various news articles about the shooting, here is my 2 cents.

America is looking to point the finger. Who is to be blamed for this great injustice? Who is at fault? How can they prevent this from happening? I blame the country itself. The United States of America, land of the free. Liberty and justice for all. The American dream. You and your goddamn American citizen rights and shit. How bout you point that finger on yourselves before blaming others. First and foremost you allowed his refuge parents to gain citizenship to begin with. So don't be mad at their 'born in the USA' kid who was simply enjoying his 'freedom'. Land of the free remember? It was your silly gun laws, inline with your liberty/freedom policies, that has lead to this. He was free to enter a pawn shop and buy a gun, then wait a couple of weeks to buy another gun. Hell, if he wanted to go Duck hunting, he could have walked in to WalMart and buy a hunting rifle WITHOUT having to wait. AND PLUS, this Cho fella bought his gun magazines on Ebay.com for gods sake! Enough said.

If you owned a gun, wouldn't you eventually use it? If you say, "no, I will never actually use it,", then aren't you just being silly? Whats the point of owning a gun then? To point it and hope the bad guy runs away? If that's the case, why not just buy those replica handguns that shoots out BB pallets and looks like the real thing. Safe and will get the job done. Guns are made to end life. Period. Guns, put in the hand of any half crazy dick-head like Cho, spells trouble. In all of history, nothing good has ever come from guns apart for making tons of money for people who sell them. You want to do something about this America? Change your gun laws. Ban them. Get them off the streets. That's all.

When I heard about this on the news, I was relieved it was an Asian-type fella, like a Korean. I said "Thank god it wasn't an Arab ". Can you imagine the shit that would have happen then? America invades Jordan perhaps? But wait! now it seems this Cho fella had a tattoo on his forearm with 'Ismail Ax' which is his video game alter-ego name. Suddenly paranoid America and 'the powers' that be, is trying to spin the story to terrorism. Suddenly, this Korean boat fucker is a Muslim and a Terrorist with links to Uzbekistan! "Could the Ax in Ismail Ax, be shorthand for the name Ahmed?" say media reports. Insane in the membrane! Insane in the brain!

Please la, its nobody's fault but your own, America. Its all ways your fault. Just go open any history book. Serve you right.

My sister's room of death

Every so often I would venture into my sister's room just to see what she is up to. For me its like walking into some kind of alternate universe or some kind of twilight zone even. For starters, the room is not your typical square or rectangle in its layout. Its got a zig-zag wall on one side and french doors on the other. Quite bizarre if you ask me. As if that wasn't enough, her bed would sometimes be placed on an angle across the room, just to 'off set' things it seems. Oh my god, lets not forget the beads. Oh yes the beads. A curtain of Balinese ornamental jewels divides the room to create a 'walk in wardrobe' of sorts. An ode to 70's interior design? Perhaps, only my sister knows whats going on there.

"Get me out of here! "

Lets not forget the 'all-of-sudden-its-blue-its-green' bathroom, with a glass tabletop wash basin that has edges so sharp that one slip and you can kiss your wet naked life goodbye. Oh and recently the roof caved in from shoddy workmanship and heavy rain, that it now looks like it was designed that way to begin with. Oddly enough it now fits the whole warped feel of the bedroom. Yea!

Now for some reason, my sister does not strive to make the room comfortable for guests, the room is 'tuned' for her comfort, and rightly so I suppose, but come on. The room does not provide me with a feeling of chill. Maybe this is by design because she needs 'her space', like all Leos do. I can't even properly throw myself on the bed without a fear of breaking the one of a kind wire framed bed. She has satin-type sheets which makes the pillows swish and slide off the bed. This in turn, results in me not being able to lie down properly and place a pillow under my head without straining my neck as I try to 'grip' the pillow with my hair. I would of course sit on the near by dressing table chair but alas, its wooden, hard, and makes my ass feel like someone has been hitting it with a sledgehammer.

The room has four nuclear powered halogen lights that converge into one blinding spot on the bed, so even if you try to relax, it feels like you sunbathing. Beware to those wearing glasses, your eyeballs may spontaneously combust. The heat from the lights is conveniently mixed with lack of oxygen in the room. The lack of moving air is evident as there is no ceiling fan for those lazy Sunday afternoons. Prolonged conversations will cause light headiness and heart beat spasms. It feels like you are perpetually drowning. And God forbid you suggest to switch the air-conditioner on, that's not 'natural'.

When I complained to my sister about all of the above, she says, "Its like training yourself". An explanation that is so characteristic of her and her unique ways. It is simple yet deep in meaning. The room is like a one big 'only for me' domain and everyone else can keep the hell out. Or in this case me. I just can't help but feel that its all meant to be. She is definitely smarter than people give her credit for and like all Leo's, requires you to simply understand and allow.

The most annoying question of all time

"Hey, how are things?"

One of the most common greetings of modern times. A question that is both vague and at the same time obtrusive. Why the hell does one ask such a rhetorical question anyway? Do you really care how things are doing with the other person? And if so, what of it? When answering a question like this, how much do you tell or How much don't you tell? What happens when too much information has passed and an embarrassing situation arises?

Say for instance, "Hey, how are things?" Answer, "Things are bad, I am having a stomach ache and I need to take a big shit, I predict it will be a shit that will be both soft and very liquid. Also my cat died in my toilet, the smell is quite rank. I will however persevere non the less. Oh and my wife slept with her boss too. Thanks for asking.". So now the person who asked the question in the first place is left bewildered and feeling like shit. He has had a shitty day, that is how things are going for him.

*Ceiling Cat appears courtesy of the shoddyblog

What about the flip side? "Hey, how are things?" Answer, "Things are awesome, I just made my first billion and I'm looking to sink the 50 foot yacht I bought last week because some sad fool's cat died in the toilet and shat on it, So now I want to buy a new one. But first I have to ask my super model girlfriend if she and her model friends want to fly to Monte Carlo with me to pick out a new yacht and go for a test drive. Oh excuse me while I get rid of these pesky 20 dollar notes. I hate small change." What a bastard. But you can't blame him for answering that way, he is happy and rich, that is how things are going with him. You asked didn't you?
So there is no real point in asking this annoying question. Either way, the answer is of no consequence to you.

So I ask you again... why ask the question at all?

Dry Australian Humor - 'Qantas Gripe Sheet'

One of the things I miss most about Australia was the extremely dry humor of Australians. I miss good old school days when the fellas and I, at 'The Flat', use to joke around. This email I received reminded me of those days. I thought I might post so, here.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then the pilots review the gripe sheets right before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some of the actual maintenance complaints submitted by the Qantas' pilots (as marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (as marked with an S) by the maintenance engineers. By the way, it is relevant to note that Qantas is the only major airline in the world that has never, ever, had an accident!

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in the cockpit.
S: Something tightened in the cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of a leak on the right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume reset to a more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: The number 3 engine is missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after a brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

And the best one saved for last......

P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from the midget.

Ahhhhhhhhh Good times long gone................. ay Beef?

American Idol Season 6 Sucks Ass!

As you may or may not know, I am a big Idol fan. Last year, I raved on about Katharine McPhee and how insanely hot she was and still is. Last season, the top 12 singers were outstanding with anyone of them having a real chance of winning. In the end the grey haired Taylor Hicks won the votes over Kat. Oh well, still it was an awesome season. I even joined the Katharine McPhee fan club. What a sicko I am. In the end her album isn't that good anyway but that's a whole other blog entry.

This season however has not created much excitement in me. One reason being there isn't a McPhee-type beauty. Jordin Sparks catches my eye but her voice is not as good as Kat's. The guys all suck this season. Maybe that Justine Timberlake copycat has a chance. Its all down to votes. Speaking of votes, does anyone wonder why that Sanjaya Malakar the Indian fruitcake is still in it? I tell you why, one word, 'outsourcing'. There must be a million Indian I.T and outsourcing people in the states voting their asses off for this guy who is by far the worst finalist Idol has ever seen.

If you talk about world class singers there are only 2, Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones. Whether one of them will win, is still unknown. At the end of the day, although this is a singing competition, the best singer doesn't always win. Americans vote for who they like. Taylor was a lovable guy and you can't help but want him to win. Was he a technically better singer than Kat? No. So this year its all up for grabs. I will still tune in to see what happens, but NOT religiously this time round I'm affraid. Oh and here is another picture of Kat, just in case you forgot.

This picture was taken as she was leaving my house some time last week.... in the morning.