BiskutNaga's Jinggez - A view with a Malaysian twist

2011-11-16T15:55:00.001+08:00

I miss blogging.

i'd do it more if it didn't require so much thought...... heh

...... I really do miss it though.....

My Mandatory Birthday Blurb 2011

2011-07-17T10:54:00.001+08:00

Hello hello, yes, another year has passed and I'm still alive. Happy about that I must say. This year has been hectic to say the least. I've never done so much travelling in one year and we're only half way through 2011. I'm not complaining though, I mean, in this economy, I'm happy I have a job let alone a job that requires frequent travel. This only real problem I have with my job is, having to be away from my family for weeks on end. Sometimes I feel I'm missing out on my children's growing up. Ultimately, I have to do this for them. 'Gotta pay the bills' as they say.

This year I was once again, on a golf course, in the Tournament Office, in some other country other than my own. The one difference is I received a surprise birthday cake! And what a surprise it was. This one had the full theatrics including accomplice actors and notions of alleged error on my part. Just what I needed after a long day of stress.... more stress. In the end it was worth it, teary eyed while blowing out my candle, I felt appreciated and loved. That's all one can hope for in this world. Initially I thought to myself, I was 'too old for this shit'... but the reality is, you appreciate it more as you get older.

Thanks guys..... one more day to go.... then I can finally go home to my loving wife and children. That's the only present I really want.

Photoshop Tennis 3 - AlphaBeatDown

2011-03-08T14:47:00.002+08:00

click to enlarge

Howdy folks, its been a while since the last Photoshop Tennis match between ShoddyBlog and Me. This one is based on the Alphabet. The base image is one of a shopping mall somewhere. This image was challenging as the graininess and perspective made adding things to it, very difficult but extremely fun.

See if you can spot and name all 26 of them.... There is also a bonus 27th one just for the hell of it.

Stay tuned for the next round of Photoshop Tennis. This time we explore the wonders of the 90s!

Here are Photoshop Tennis match 1 and match 2 just to refresh your memory.

Welcome to Malaysia

2011-03-08T12:20:00.000+08:00

I been meaning to post this....

Who is at fault?
The Taxi driver? The fares are so low and fuel is up, who could blame him.
The Customers? What choice do they have? Buses are crap and it ain't easy getting a cab.
The People in charge? How long does it take to fix a problem?

Happy New Year Ya Clowns!

2011-01-09T12:25:00.000+08:00

Yo! As the title suggests, Happy New Year! I expect 2011 to be a hectic year with much travel and new opportunities in store. No need to declare resolutions and shit, we never stick to them anyway. I say just have a general idea of where you want to be at the end of the day and you'll live with less stress.

My last blog update was in October and I know I've been slack in updating this. It seems that social networking is all the trend these days. Facebook and Twitter have litterally taken over our lives. Blogging seems to be so old fashion now. To be honest, blogging takes too much effort and is rather time consuming. I've found that, although you can express more in a blog than in a 'status update', sometimes less is more. Many times in the past, I'd get in trouble with putting my thoughts on a page. I realise that not everyone shares my opinions or sense of humour for that matter. True freedom of speech does not exist. Its hard to convey your point of view or a humourous anticdote without it be misconstuded to something else.

These days, peoples attention span is getting less and less. Perhaps its the fact that everyone is busy or in a rush. No one has time to read pages and pages of text. I know my sisters have no patience for my ramblings here. I almost have to force them to read this. They are both so busy Twitting that if this doesnt appear on their Twitter feed, this will undoubtedly go unnoticed. Hell, the only reason anyone would read this is because I've linked Blogspot with Facebook, and as soon I press 'Publish' this 'Note' will appear on my wall.

I remember when I first started blogging, getting comments was all I cared about. It is that feedback and interactivity with your readers, that makes blogging so satisfying. I suppose thats why Facebook and Twitter are such a big success. Its constant instant feedback.

Damn you Mark Zuckerberg. You rich cunt. I was watching Bloomberg last night about the Facebook story. The company is currently valued at 10 billion dollars. There are 500 million users and growing. Microsoft paid 240 Million for only 1.6% of the company. One can't help but feel slightly jealous. I watched The Social Network last year and thought "Why did I think of that?" .... damn.

Anyway, Happy New Year and my your dream come true....... Bitches.

When it rains in Jakarta

2010-10-28T13:29:00.001+08:00

For me Jakarta has always been a destination of choice but yesterday, I was greeted with what only can be described as liquid hell. It was as if the skys opened up a wept tears of anger. This populous nation was clearly overwhelmed with the immense sudden quantity of rain that drenched the city. What should have been a relatively short drive from the airport to the city center became a torturous 5 hour ordeal.

Personally, I believe that the floods are as a result of too much shit in the sewer system. With over 100 million people, all shitting at once, where does it all go? Surely it has all clogged up the storm drains and pipes. Never mind that Jakarta city sits below sea-level, it has to be the shit that is causing these highway shit-rivers.

Just goes to show, that shit is eternal.

And this is what Disney princesses teach women....

2010-07-20T01:24:00.002+08:00

My Mandatory Birthday Blurb 2010

2010-07-15T23:02:00.002+08:00

Yes its that time again.. one more year has passed.. and I am older by one year. As you can see, I've not written anything for over 2 months. Very slack of me I know. Even then, in may, it was a copy paste article. Maybe its because Blogging is so 5 years ago? Nah, that's just a lame excuse. I'm just lazy, I always have been I suppose. Almost 'sloth-like' as my mom would put it.

Kudos to Simon for his expansive blurbs about the World Cup which has just concluded. He, of course is the reason I started my blog years ago, and I'm glad to see that he is still going strong with his surprising interest in soccer. Must be all those years working in London.

What has happened in the last 12 months? Goodness, so many things to recall. I've been doing my usual traveling around Asia for work. It was nice to have my family with me one of those outings, a sort of working holiday in Phuket, that was fun. My son is now in first grade at a government school. We had to adjust to the lack of attention the teachers have for our child due to the student to teacher ratio. Also having to adjust to waking up early to send him to school. Just when you thought, as you get older you didn't have to do that anymore. One of life's bitter irony. And I just stubbed my toe on the way to the kitchen. Oh God it hurts more than usual. My daughter is almost 2 years old, and as the day go by, I find myself thinking of the fool that would eventually be called 'boyfriend' and that makes me very upset. I will kill that dweeb or anyone else that would threaten to spoil my precious.

My wife, of now 8 years, is still by my side and forever the voice of reason in my otherwise loony world. She still manages to bring a smile to my face at times of darkness and ever ready to shake my core with words of 'where is my house you promised me??'. Soon darling, soon... I say. Hopefully, one day, we will achieve our goals together.

Anyway, here is a list of famous people that share my birthday:-
1. Jesse 'The Body' Ventura (15-Jul-1951) WWF Wrestler turned Governor of Minnesota and was the dude in Predator with the vulcan machine gun.
2. Jan-Michael Vincent (15-Jul-1944) Sting Fellow Hawk from 80s TV series Airwolf.
3. Kim Alexis (15-Jul-1960) Top 1980s model
4. Brian Austin Green (15-July-1973) David Silver from 90s TV series Beverly Hills 90210
5. Eddie Griffin (15-July-1968) Star of Undercover Brother and was the pimp in Deuce Bigalow. Remember the phrase "Dont make me he-bitch-man-slap you!"
6. Ayatollah Khamenei (15-Jul-1939) Supreme leader of Iran
7. Brigitte Nielsen (15-Jul-1963) Stared in Red Sonja and was married to Sly Stallone
8. Rembrandt (15-Jul-1606) Painted Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Tulp

Judging from this list, people born on this day, can either be great people in history or really crappy actors. So far I'm neither.... well, I did do a sub-standard commentating job for The Le Tour de Langkawi cycling race for TV, does that count? A friend of mine put my name forward to do this, with absolutely zero knowledge of cycling, I foolishly said 'Yes'. Talk about undergoing the steepest learning curve ever. On the first day, I yelled out "and the guy in blue won!"... but at least by the end of the week I think I managed to sound like I knew what I was saying.

So here is to the next year ahead, and as always I give myself some massive boobs to stare at, just because I can.

Here is Jordan Carver, she is from Germany and is currently trying to dethrone big boob legend, Denise Milani as the number one internet pinup girl. Her boob to waist ratio is unreal. Surreal almost. Really. Just take a look!

nuff said.......................

The Man Rules

2010-05-04T08:17:00.006+08:00

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally,the guys' side of the story.
(must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear"the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1.   Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1.   Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1.   Crying is blackmail.

1.   Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1.   Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1.   Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1.   Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1.   If you think you're fat, you probably are..
Don't ask us.

1.   If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1.   You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1.   Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1.   Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1.   ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1.   If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1.   If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1.   If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1.   When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine..Really

1.   Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as FOOTBALL or

motor sports

1.   You have enough clothes.

1.   You have too many shoes.

1.   I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1.   Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Photoshop Tennis Match 2 (after 14 rounds)

2010-02-11T13:34:00.003+08:00

Photoshop is a wonderful thing. Thank god for illegal copies here in Asia, otherwise I would have to fork out thousands, like the rest of the world. Moving on, here we have match 2 of Simon and Ozi's Photoshop Tennis grand-slam extravaganza. This new starting image chosen by Simon poses a whole new set of challenges. First of, its a smaller image. Second, its an image with minimal depth. Third, its littered with little lighting and Gaussian blur "potholes" to fall into. I look forward to this one. I will edit the paragraph below to tell you of the changes made in each round. I'll try and make it as interesting a read for those who read this after the match is over.

Simon starts by adding a the image from Match 1 into one of the frames. I then do the same by inserting a production snap shot of our student film made in 1998 called Bloody Hell 2. Simon then made the freak from The Ring crawl out of another painting. That's plain creepy. Then Thundercats to the rescue. Look! its the idol from Indiana Jones up for grabs. In round 6, I kill Spongebob. Do you remember Ghostbusters 2? Well there is Vigo the painting. In round 8, I think we need more awareness about Tigers. See if you can spot more things we've added on after 14 rounds. I really love this game. Can't wait for match 3!

Click to enlarge.

Photoshop Tennis (updated after Round 22)

2010-01-22T18:01:00.012+08:00

First and foremost, Happy New Year. Just the other day, I was talking to my fellow blogger, Mr Shoddy Simon, and I was telling him how uninspired I was to write on my blog these days. So, the ingenious Beef recommended I focus my blog around stuff I do with Photoshop. I agree.

And so we start 2010 with a game of Photoshop Tennis. Its a game where you start with one image and then using Photoshop (obviously) you add something and then send it to the other person. Then he adds something and sends it back. I guess if you want to waste time, do it creatively. For this we used a nice image of Venice, Italy, at night.

click to enlarge

This is what we have after 20 rounds. Simon started with the guy in the sleeping bag. Then I put in Ariel from the Little Mermaid. Then Simon put in Batman and the Bat signal. I've put in Freddy Kruger. Then Simon put a man on fire and I called in King Kong. Simon felt we needed some security with ED 209 and I think The Dark Side of the force can help. In round 8, Simon made Dr. Zoidberg float on water of which I replied with the Alien from Aliens. Round 10 and 11 sees Simon adding the two grumpy old men from the Muppets and me adding Gemma Atkinson, because whenever possible, you must have Gemma in any picture. The ghost of Michael Jackson's past haunts us and I just realized we need a soft drink sponsor. Round 15-16, Godzilla thinks its Japan and Spiderman is wondering about the guy in the sleeping bag. Oh look its the Skeckies from Dark Crystal and I like Stewie Griffin. Round 19-20 sees Simon open a Porky's branch while I help some Philippine kids escape a flooded waters. And finally, a caterpillar and a gymnast completes the picture.

I must say this Background image of Venice at night is mighty tough. Simon will post his addition on The Shoddy Blog. Let see what madness we can come up with!

End of Year Blog

2009-12-19T12:42:00.006+08:00

Hello boys and girls. I've been a few months since I've written anything. Low and behold, 2009 came and went. I blame Facebook and Twitter. With constant status updates and being concise all the time, this makes no room for long winded blogging. But that's not an excuse, I'm just lazy.

I wanna look back at 2009 and give my review, but alas, it was all a blur. It was that kind of year to be honest. Lacklustre and forgettable. So lets just leave it at that and move on. Bring on 2010. One year closer to 2011. I haven't seen the movie yet, but they says its crap. So maybe I wont. Why would I want to scare myself silly? Let the end of the world come... whenever that maybe.

So here is a list of things of things to look forward to:-

1. .................................................... nah.... fuck it..... I aint making a list.

Merry X'mas and Happy New Year.

Everyone can go ahead and lick my balls! (here is the accompanying logo)

Baby Einstein - Plug your baby in

2009-09-17T09:03:00.004+08:00

We live in the year 2009. We are surrounded by technology. Parenting has definitely changed over past 20 years. As kid, my 'TV time' was always restricted by my parents. It was a time were books were more timely than the internet, in fact, there was no internet in the 80s.

Today, I use technology in everything and that includes parenting. My first born is now 6 years old. Ever since he was born, I exposed him to technology. Everything from the cell phone to the personal computer, I made sure he was familiar to it all. Now he can switch on my entertainment system, google stuff, and I've been told that his conversational skills are far beyond the average 6 year-old. He is articulate and expressive. We are very proud of him.

The secret? Plug your plug your child into Baby Einstein. Over a decade ago, Baby Einstein was founded by Julie Clark, a mom who wanted to share her love of humanities with her baby. Her intent was to create products that offered interactive experiences for her and her daughter to discover the world together. Products are designed to encourage discovery and inspire new ways for parents and little ones to interact.

All Baby Einstein products, including its video line, are designed as interactive tools for parents to use with their babies. Since the debut of the very first title, Baby Einstein videos/DVDs were developed with the idea of creating a “digital board book,” allowing a parent to have two free hands while enjoying and experiencing the video with their little one – leaving their hands free to clap, point to objects and interact with their baby. parents/caregivers play a critical role in defining the “appropriate use of television.” The Baby Einstein Company has built its reputation on creating developmentally appropriate content that parents/caregivers know they can trust to use with their little ones.

A recent study from Harvard University on the issue of screen time for infants concludes the following:

* TV viewing for infants is not harmful.
* Content matters.
* TV viewing in infancy is not associated with language or visual motor skills at age 3.
* TV viewing in and of itself does not influence babies’ brain development – maternal, child and household characteristics are more influential to a child's brain development.

Ever morning since my son was 1, We would watch one Baby Einstein program with him. And today, my daughter is going through the same. I like to think of it as Early Childhood Development TV Foundation Regime Program or ECDTVFRP for short. Judging from my son's development of the past 6 years, I know we made the right decision in adopting this method. Remember, you decide the amount and what your baby is exposed to. Interactivity is key.

So there you go. Good luck

Isla Fisher vs Amy Adams

2009-08-25T03:36:00.001+08:00

Is it just me or does Amy Adams and Isla Fisher look alike? I was watching "Definitely, Maybe" earlier today and I noticed that Isla Fisher reminded me of Amy Adams (Enchanted). I did a little internet search and found that Isla will be starring in the upcoming movie "Confessions Of A Shopaholic" and realized that I thought she was Amy when I saw the trailer on television. It's really confusing - especially when they both sport curls. And if you haven't figured it out yet, that's Isla on the left and Amy on the right.

My mandatory Birthday Entry

2009-07-15T00:12:00.002+08:00

The year is 2009. The month, July. The day, 15th. Now I'm officially an old, decrepit, silly, tubbier, old, grumpy old man. And did I mention 'Old'? I've now lived on this excuse for a planet for 34 years now. That's 3 and a bit decades of piss farting around. Well now, I say bring on the next 3 decades for more of the same.

I have lots to be grateful for. We have a new addition to the family is the form of little Eva Zahara. My beautiful petite little gem that is full of spirit and spunk. I fear that one day she will break my heart with random acts of rebellious behavior. One can only hope that the early childhood education will be sufficient enough to mold her into a useful and contributing individual to society when she grows up. Somehow I have a strange feeling that all the stuff I did when I was single is going to come back and haunt me it the form of my daughter. All I can do it prey. I love my little 'Punya' none the less.

My son Hakeem who is now 6 years old and doesn't stop talking. He can actually hold a conversation like an adult. You can reason with him now and sometimes he tries to find loopholes and argue with you. Just like me! ehehhe I'm so proud of him. He can also read and write now. This is both good and bad. Bad because its only a matter of time before he figures out to type 'boob' in Google and thus begins a parents nightmare. At the moment he Googles 'Ultraman' and 'Tom and Jerry'. I fear the day he finds The Adventures of UltraCockman and His Gay Buddies Tom and Jerry. Oh the horror! I remember in the eighties how hard it was to find a naked anything let alone porn. Nowadays, porn is only but a 'double-click' away. Thanks Internet.

My wife Azhani. My partner. My friend. Truly without her, I would have nothing. Or more like without her, life would have little meaning. Sure I enjoy the occasional outings with the The Boys. And for sure we have our disagreements, But I can tell you, I would be lost without her. Through think and thin, we will make it 'Kets'. I promise. Love you.

My mother is a Facebook nut and I honestly have myself to blame for setting up her account. Now she has 5 million in Texas Hold' Em money. I keep telling her, 'Its not real'. Oh crap. My two sisters are flying in there careers and my brother Adam is doing well at his new job as web developer/project manager or something. I must thank them, especially Nini, for helping our mother out of her financial meltdown. With everyone chipping in, we can make it through.

In the past 12 months, I've been traveling quite a bit. I've almost been to every Asian country there is. This is quite a feat seeing as I don't particularly like being away from home. Its not so bad I am only away one week at a time. Career wise, its been up and down. We can all thank the current economic down turn for shit we are going through. I would like to see a little more stability in this area of my life. I hoping the latter part of this year will bring some good news.

I've been fighting my temptation to buy a BlackBerry but I fear my resilience is coming to an end. With most of my friends and family on it, And with the inclusion of Twitter, I think its time. I know that once I'm on, I won't look back. This year I also bought a motorcycle. My wife thinks I'm going through a mid-life crisis. Have I reached mid-life? I think not. But lets not put a label to it.

My birthday consisted on one cake at work and one seafood dinner with family and friends. And another cake. No presents. And I help pay for the dinner. I think it was a fitting birthday-day. Overall, even though I tried to start out this entry all morose and mellow dramatic, now at the end of it, come to think of it, I am happy. Sure, things can be better and sure I wouldn't mind a little more extra money, in all honestly, my life doesn't suck. And for that everyday I thank Allah for all that he has given me.

And last but not least.. as always, I give myself some birthday boobs to look at. I figure my son hasn't been to my blog yet. I figure I better put up whatever I like before I have to start our home censorship board. I do feel my time of reckless blogging is coming to an end. Anyway, Did anyone catch Simona Halep at Wimbledon this year? She is my new favourite Tennis player. Happy Birthday Ozi.

Read this.

TENNIS babe Simona Halep is to undergo surgery - to shrink her 34DD bouncers.
The 17-year-old claims they are a disadvantage and has vowed to have a reduction later this year. She declared: "The breasts make me uncomfortable when I play.
"It's the weight that troubles me - my ability to react quickly."
Fans of the 5ft 5in Romanian - ranked 317th in the world and hoping to play at Wimbledon - last night flocked to sign an online petition: Save Simona Halep Boobs.
One stormed: "It will be a crime against nature."

Oh the horror of breast reduction........ peace out.

Transformers 2 - I dont like it

2009-07-03T14:32:00.003+08:00

I copy - pasted this from Yahoo! Movies because this article says it all. This movie didn't even inspire me write my own review.
Burning Questions: The 10 Most Confusing Things in 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen'
by Matt McDaniel
June 30, 2009

"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" made over $200 million last week. What it didn't make, however, was one lick of sense.

Now, suspension of disbelief is usually not a problem for me. Tell me that a billionaire could put on a bat suit and swoop around fighting crime and I'll buy it. Or that a different billionaire could build flying armor in his basement. Or that in the future people will beam onto spaceships with their pointy-eared best friend. I'll accept all of it. I'll even take your word for it that a mechanized alien race can come to our planet, scan some cars, and turn themselves into vehicles.

That being said, there were moments in this new "Transformers" movie that were so confusing, so contradictory, or so corny that they completely took me out of the movie. Even days after watching it, some new inconsistency or plot hole would pop into my mind.

I can hear it already: "It's a popcorn movie. It's based on a bunch of toys. It's just supposed to be fun." And yes, all of those things are true. But that doesn't mean I can't ask questions about what in the world was going on. Here are the ten that I most want answered. (WARNING: contains spoilers).

1. In "Transformers," there was this giant battle in the middle of downtown Los Angeles -- excuse me, Mission City -- that was witnessed by thousands of people at the very least. But somehow the government was able to cover up the whole thing, and now the existence of alien robots is just an internet rumor? How did they do it? Pay off everyone who was there and quickly fix millions of dollars in damage? Also, didn't Keller (Jon Voight) go on TV and tell everyone we were being attacked by "a technological civilization far superior to our own"? How did they spin that?

2. There are two pieces of the Allspark cube left: the military has one under lock and key, and Sam discovers another. The Decepticons steal one and bring Megatron back to life. But when Sam (Shia LaBeouf) wants to bring back Optimus, he has to find the Matrix of Leadership on the other side of the globe. Why not use the other piece? Mikaela (Megan Fox) has it in her backpack the whole time. It brought his kitchen appliances to life, why can't it do the same for Optimus?

3. Speaking of Megatron's rebirth, when the Decepticons venture deep into the ocean to revive him, the Navy crew tracking them reads five contacts. When they get down there, they tear apart one of the robots for parts to rebuild Megatron. Then as they rise to the surface, the same Navy guys say they spot six contacts. The little "Doctor" robot popped out down there, but he's about a third of the size of a person. Would he have shown up on sonar?

4. That reminds me: even if I were to forgive the Doctor's German accent -- and director Michael Bay is asking me to forgive a lot of ridiculous accents -- why would a robot need glasses? He has little lenses that flip in front of his mechanical eyes. Couldn't he just get his eyes adjusted? You'd think with all the laser guns, someone could perform a Lasik procedure.

5. Apparently, Transformers can look like people now. How? And how is it that even though the robo-girl (Isabel Lucas) is made of metal, she can still straddle Sam without crushing him. And if Bumblebee knows something's wrong with her, why does he spit antifreeze at her instead of telling Sam? Yes, his voicebox is broken, but wasn't it fixed at the end of the last movie?

6. The Fallen is the last of the Primes, since they all sacrificed themselves to stop him from destroying the sun. But then he says that Optimus is a descendant of the Primes. First, Transformers have kids? And second, how could he descend from them if they were all dead? And if the Fallen could only be destroyed by a Prime, why didn't the originals just gang up on him back in the day? And what makes Optimus so special, anyway? Megatron beat him earlier, but all it takes is a few spare parts from creaky old Jetfire for him to take out the Fallen?

7. Sam, Mikaela, and Simmons (John Turturro) go to the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum in Washington D.C. to find Jetfire. Then they walk out the back onto a wide open field with old planes and mountains in the distance. When did the National Mall start to look so much like to Tucson, AZ (where they really filmed that scene)?

8. The geography is just as bad when they go to Egypt. The stone city of Petra in Jordan is over 250 miles away, over mountainous terrain, with few paved roads and the Israeli border between them, so how can they drive from one to the other in a couple of hours. And the Pyramids are said to be shooting distance from the Mediterranean, but they are actually well over 80 miles inland. Even if the Navy ship had a secret rail gun, and even if the captain would take an order to fire from a former agent of a government branch that no longer exists (over a walkie-talkie that inexplicably starts working again), how could it hit a moving target from that distance?

9. Sam briefly dies and goes to Robot Heaven. Robot Heaven?!?!

10. Where does Sam's bandage come from? What about his extra sock? Why does Sam's roommate not contribute anything at all? What was the Fallen doing for those thousands of years Megatron was frozen in ice? How does one satellite receive transmissions from everywhere on the planet? Why does Wheelie hump Mikaela's leg? Why do we have to see John Turturro's thong? Why are robots who join together to become Devastator also seen fighting the Army at the same time? Why does the government want only our military fighting Decepticons when our weapons seem unable to make so much as a dent on any of them? Why did the ancient Egyptians build a pyramid around the sun-destroying machines instead of just breaking it? Why is the Matrix of Leadership bigger in the Fallen's hand than in Sam's? And how do Mikaela's pants stay so clean?

OK, so I went overboard at the end, but the questions remain. And I'm sure more will pop up next time I think about the movie. But the movie did make a ton of money, and it's earned a solid B+ rating from our users. Maybe I should go see it again. My questions probably won't get answered in a second viewing, but if I can just clear them from my mind I can be in Robot Heaven, too.

BISKUTNAGA SAYS BALLS!

I ate pork. Damn the Philippines!

2009-05-26T20:15:00.005+08:00

On my recent trip to the Philippines, I had my first taste of pork. How fucking awesome. Yey!
What started out as a simple breakfast, quickly turned into a nightmare. As a Muslim, one of the fundamental no-no's is eating pork or any of the variants there of. This means bacon, sausages, ham, pig and whatever other names there are of this 'other white meat'.

Anyway, as you would imagine, breakfast is an experience laid en with land mines of the pork variety, and so my options were quite limited. Even ordering a simple omelet meant that I would risk some Jamie Oliver wannabe chef would still mix in some ham and capsicum in there. So I order a plain sunny-side up egg with some toast. Ok, so at his point what could go wrong? On the table there was a neat little basket of condiments like, salt, pepper, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, Maggi seasoning, soy sauce, Ketchup AND finally, MANG TOMAS ALL AROUND SARSA.

All-Around Sarsa? Fuyoh! That sounds too exotic to pass up, I had to give that a taste. I then have a brief skim of the ingredients; vinegar, salt, dried tomatoes.... yup, it all sounds good. So give myself a good splash of Mang Tomas. A grey coloured, gooey, fishy smelling sauce, not very appetising if you ask me. But I give a taste anyway. And to my surprise Yum! An almost savoury yet sweet flavour. I continued to finish my Eggs and Toast. I then asked my friend if it comes in any other version, perhaps a spicier one with chillies? Yes there are, Great! lets drop into the super market before I head back home.

Now comes the realization of Mang Tomas. At lunch, in a different restaurant later the next day. There it was, next to the classic Heinz Ketchup, Mang bloody Tomas. I order my food. I ask for the Fish and Chips, explaining situation to the waiter on how I dont eat pork because I'm a Muslim, so please my dear waiter, no pork. My fish and chip comes, I start to splash on my newly found favourite condiment. Just as I'm about to take my first bite. The waiter runs over and says 'No No.. this is pork!'... WHAT!!!! ??? But the bottle says All Purpose Salsa! There is a picture of a fisherman on it for gods sake! I frantically now have a throughral read of the ingredients. And there it was, clear as day, after tomatoes and salt, Liver. Liver of what? I ask the waiter. Liver of god damn Pig! Pig la ....freakin' Winnie the Pooh friend Piglet the Pigs liver. Fuck me.

At this point, I wanted to cry. At this point I wanted to shove my finger in my mouth and puke. At this point I imagined the gates of Hell open up greet me. I don't even eat Cows liver let a alone Pigs liver! You tell me, just look at the bottle, can you see any indication that this is made from Pig? It just says ALL-AROUND SARSA... sarsa, is that a type-po? or is that Filipino for Pigs Liver. Who the hell knows?! Maybe the "IRON RICH" should have tipped me off as salsa has never ever enriched the iron in the body. Only Beef gives you Iron. Well in this case, Pig. In retrospect we all be a little more analytical but for me, hunger blurred my comprehension and reasoning.

At this point the damage is done. I leave the Philippines thinking I can't eat anything without having Pork. Hell, the Coca Cola probably has pig ears in it or something. Who can say... In any case, for a brief moment, a very brief innocent moment, Mang Tomas did taste damn good!

Heh.

The Empty Sound of Nothing

2009-05-03T18:31:00.002+08:00

The whole of April .... I DIDN'T WRITE SHIT.......

nothing ...

zero...

nada....

empty...

none...

zero equals none...

ended.

May, I try again.

31 Things Guys Should Know About Girls...

2009-03-22T22:42:00.002+08:00

Written by a friend. After years of experience.

1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud.

3. Beware of every single male relatives and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your butt at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

5. Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, its because they're jealous.

6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.

7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, its because they like being in your arms.

8. If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did.

--8.5. If you DO sleep with them, don't tell your friends that you did.

9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it...

10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.

11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a *****.

--11.5. Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!

12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it's not a serious relationship.

13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.

14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to kick the crap out of him.

15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.

16. Never, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.

17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.

18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.

19. Don't flirt with their moms or friends...that's just freaky.

20. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like crap, so be understanding.

21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.

22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.

23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.

24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.

25. Girls are fragile. Even if you play, fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.

26. Memorize their birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.

27. Don't marinade the cologne.

28. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful. Jewelry is always nice.

29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if you draw it out.

30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.

31.Don't ever do anything wrong (well not anything). girls remember things for life and anything you did wrong will be used against you in the future.

Now ladies, don't expect a guy to know every single thing here (even though that would be nice). Guys...LEARN!!!!!

My Favorite Monologue

2009-02-23T13:15:00.006+08:00

I don't what it is, but ever since I was younger, I always wanted to be an actor. As you get older, you realize that perhaps you may have 'missed the boat'. I was a shy boy and a little introverted, according to my mother anyway. Thinking back, maybe I did a lot of acting alone and in front of the mirror, I can't really remember. Or maybe that was my crazy sister? Anyway this is my favorite monologue of all time. Before the ease of Google, I actually had to pause the VHS cassette and use a dictionary to write out and understand this speech!!

Austin Powers
written by Mike Myers

Dr. Evil: The details of my life are quite inconsequential.

Therapist (Carrie Fisher): Oh no, please, please, let's hear about your childhood.

Dr Evil: Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

Therapist: You know, we have to stop.

I have memorized this and am willing to perform it at parties..... heh... Just ask me! I even do the Dr. Evil voice... well, try too anyway.

I can also can do a monologue from the movie The Three Amigos.

Lets just say I had a lot of time to kill when I was in college.

Cheers!

Lack Lustre

2009-02-10T14:55:00.003+08:00

Today I have the general feeling of crap. I feel like crap, I look like crap and I'm talking crap.

A poem comes to mind

Oh thus the winter wind that blows,
Oh trust the cold from hence within,
Joyous clouds that is the drain,
From toilets blocked from whens it came,

Turtles die and Butterflies cry,
Mothers lie and Toast is dry,
Yet those without a penny to save,
Are those without a beard to shave.

Curious George is but an ape,
What indeed is Murphy's Law?
To where we go in this day and age,
It truly is the winter raw.

Oh pointless is this poem of mine,
I struggle much to make it rhyme,
Only for laugh I seek,
Only for a smile today.

Bitches.

Palestine, Israel and the whole bit

2009-01-09T14:16:00.008+08:00

Hello Boys and Girls, first and foremost, Happy New Year. May 2009 bring with it some light in a time when everyone seems to predict dark times. Sorry for the lack of posts toward the end of last year. What with X'mas and all, I was very busy singing carols, stuffing stockings over my fireplace and waiting for that fictitious fat bastard they call Santa to give me a present that I don't deserve. Not. We can thank the Marketing Jews that created the whole structured and money making industry we call 'Christmas Holidays'. Anyway, that's not what I wanna talk about.

I wanna say something about the recent events in the Middle East. Namely the war in Israel and Palestine. Now before I say anything further, I just want to say that I will be writing this as an ignorant and misinformed individual who has chosen to not take much notice of the events of the Middle East over the past few years. I believe that my view would echo the majority of moderate Muslims in this country that simply do not want to be bogged down with yet another world problem that seemingly, not any one person's actions, would make a difference and effect change. Normally I would surf the net for some facts and information, but no, not this time. I write with what I know. I'm sure the 'know-it-all-people' of this world will comment here, some calling me a racist or bigot and what have you. Whatever la.

Everyday, my Inbox is bombarded with emails that contain violent imagery of the suffering of the people of Palestine. I guess in someway, I am compelled to express my opinions here now. As muslim, I am very sad to see such injustice. It makes me feel like I want to strap on army boots and head over there to fight. Really? No. Well maybe part of me, the same part that plays Halo 3 on the Xbox. The same part of me that thinks he can handle machine gun and shoot with the accuracy of a sniper. Did I mention bunny hopping while shooting so the enemy can't shoot me?

I got an email about, boycotting american products as most American companies like Coca Cola and Starbucks channel some of their profits to Israel to help the Jew cause. So no more Coke and Frappachinoes for me? Crap. But I love Dr.Pepper and Wendy's Burgers. So how now? I am the first one that would love to see America be taken down a notch. In fact, the fact that their economy is slowing down and going through a recession brings a smile to my face. Its always the assumption that 'if everyone this... then everyone that'. If everyone boycotts American products and companies then we can make a difference. Thats nice. Lets all do that. Lets all give to the poor. Lets all stop using electricity and fossil fuels. Lets all be nude and do away with money. Lets all focus on improving the human race just like in Star Trek. How nice.

Here is what I know or think I know or choose to know. Israel use to be Palestine years ago. My history knowledge is brought to you by the Jew infested Hollywood movie, Kingdom of Heaven staring Orlando Bloom. For hundreds of years the Jews, Christians and Muslims have been fighting over this piece of land. Holy land I might add. Until today, the Jews think they have the right to this land. Even as you read this, the Israeli Army is driving out the Palestinians out of their homes by force and blatantly committing war crimes with the backing of the United States. Where does it end? How can it end? Just thinking about it now makes me confused and helpless. Part of me thinks, is it really as one sided as it seems? Are the Muslims wrong? Are the Jews right? What is right? Is there a solution? Must we pick a side? How does this effect me, all the way in Malaysia? Will me not buying a Big Mac change anything?

Here now is my token cut and paste segment:-

This fascinating essay, written by King Hussein's grandfather King Abdullah, appeared in the United States six months before the 1948 Arab-Israeli War. In the article, King Abdullah disputes the mistaken view that Arab opposition to Zionism (and later the state of Israel) is because of longstanding religious or ethnic hatred. He notes that Jews and Muslims enjoyed a long history of peaceful coexistence in the Middle East, and that Jews have historically suffered far more at the hands of Christian Europe. Pointing to the tragedy of the holocaust that Jews suffered during World War II, the monarch asks why America and Europe are refusing to accept more than a token handful of Jewish immigrants and refugees. It is unfair, he argues, to make Palestine, which is innocent of anti-Semitism, pay for the crimes of Europe. King Abdullah also asks how Jews can claim a historic right to Palestine, when Arabs have been the overwhelming majority there for nearly 1300 uninterrupted years? The essay ends on an ominous note, warning of dire consequences if a peaceful solution cannot be found to protect the rights of the indigenous Arabs of Palestine.

Honestly, just reading the above text gives me a headache. This kind of thing brings me down. I don't like it. I don't like conflict. I may have started out writing this with the intention of being Jew hating. Perhaps in my mind, I wanted to appear somewhat cool and intellectual. Someone that goes against the grain as it were. Someone that knows what he is talking about. But in reality not everyone will share my opinion. Most often than not, I ended up saying something stupid or worse, being called a Terrorist. This IS a serious matter. A topic that can't really be made light off. Certainly an issue that requires super deep thought and insight. Honestly, the majority of people, like me, really have other things to worry about than the suffering of one nation and its people. I guess, until it effects you directly, or its in your face, only then do you care and do something about it. Only until its your family that has an M4 Assault Rifle pointed at your face do you care. But by that time, its too late.

The majority of people have their own problems to lose sleep over. Maybe that is the problem. Unfortunately, having a good nights sleep is way important than the Gaza strip. Perhaps its people like me that are the problem. We want to care, but don't know how to care, and thus, choose not to care.

Can't I just stare at boobs all day, instead, and leave me the hell me alone? How this, what if everybody just go and stare some tits like these, we all be a lot happier. Peace.

Bukit Antarabangsa… Multiple tragedy

2008-12-16T16:51:00.004+08:00

Disclaimer..... this is not written by me.... thanks.

Bukit Antarabangsa… Multiple tragedy

December 10, 2008 by drrafick http://www.rights2w rite.wordpress.com

Just a simple, ordinary kampong doctor - the 6th Generation Malaysian.

Today is D5 of the Bukit Antarabangsa tragedy. During the highland tower incident, I was part of the medical team assisting in the rescue and support effort but today I am a victim of a similar tragedy. Something that I never thought that would have an impact on me. Relatively in comparison, what happen to those families who loss their love ones is nothing compared to what me and probably 2000 other residents had to endure past 4 days. Many tragedies took place this time around. I am not going to be diplomatic about it. I will say it the way I see it.

Within 2 hour after being made aware of landslide, I and several resident of Taman Bukit Utama activated an Ops Centre (known as TBU Ops Centre). We look at importance issues that we need to tackle mainly water supply, waste disposal, security, food distribution and medical evacuation. What was supposed to be our Taman Ops centre became the Ops Centre to eight "Taman" surrounding ours who were cut off from the outside world. We had no electricity, water, fixed telephone line internet. Most people had limited food in their house as they had already plan to travel for Raya and did not stock up any food.

Within an hour after meeting, we setup and completed a temporary water supply by laying pipes to get mountain water for the resident. Ops centre was up in the next hour and we started communication channel with the outside channel via SMS and arranging food and drinking water supply. We took preventive measures to manage disease outbreak by managing waste. All this was done by a handful of people from Taman Bukit Utama Resident Association (PPTBU). We setup the helipad for the rescue team to come in.

With the help of a friend DSP Kumar, we manage to evacuate by air (Medivac) a total of 39 patients which consist of stroke patients, elderly people, kidney failure patients etc. The patients were evacuated by police air wing which was arranged by DSP Kumar from the UTK through his personal contacts. We did all this independently without the support of any help from the Base station at Ground zero.

Within the first 48 hours, while in darkness several homes was reported to be broken into by unknown people in residential areas adjacent to TBU where there was no or minimal residential coordination among the residents. Food was shortage and cooked food from PBSM (Persatuan Bulan Sabit Merah) did not arrive in timely manner. The longest time was dinner that only reaches us in the morning which was not consumable.

While we are stuck, we had VVIP visitors that come to our area. I would say out of many people that came only a handful was actually helpful. YB Elizabeth Wong, a state Exco came with a working group and arrange generators, fuel, candles, garbage bags and others. She came by foot with very few people and carried the relevant information without empty promises. The IGP came and given me his personal commitment and blessing that, I continue to handle all air evacuation with the support of Police Udara. I was told that the Minister of Information visited only the UMNO relief center at a Condo nearby. He did not come to our place.

The NGO that is worth mentioning is Mercy who gave me some drugs, INSAF who open a small medical clinic for 2 days and MAVFCL (Kapt Bala and his crew) which open a temporary access between Athenaeum condo and a generator set to charge hand phones and Bukit Utama which allows people to leave by foot. It is a regret to note that NO government agency deserves any mention in the first 36 hours of tragedy except for Polis Udara and Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat. I think they forgot about us.

While 2000 people were surviving in the darkness and the absence of proper food, Concord Hotel, Ali Maju restaurant, Burger King and many others donated tons of food. Unfortunately, no one attempted to send the food to us. Residents that were not affected by the tragedy and the rescue workers were enjoying them. The kind of food they get down there was lavish. There was fresh roti chanai, tosai mee goreng etc. The best word to describe the situation down there is "food fiesta". Someone commented that there is so much "Teh Tarik" that you can wash your shoes with it.

The landslide is a major tragedy. The bigger tragedy is that the failure of the government to act fast enough. While multiple agencies went into action fast, most of them work independently. On the 3rd day, we had 10 soldiers from RAMD with two officers with the rank of Major that came to our centre. I ask them a basic question on their role and the officers could not give me a straight answer. He was very blur. To me his presence was a liability to the ops center as we had to feed an additional 10 mouth with our limited stocks.

This is not the first time a tragedy takes place. The disaster relief operation was not well coordinated. The command and control was lacking. Information dissemination to the media was scattered and causes panic among the people. Many friends and relatives outside calls us and we could not entertain them, as our battery power was limited.

In terms of political publicity, I would say UMNO was a clear winner. This is because they control the media. Unfortunately, I would say that in the hearts of the people UMNO loss big time. The high-level conduct of their people on the ground and their selective helps that was given out was too much to bear. In fact, the Putri Umno head that I had known past few months was behaving in such a highhanded manner that really shows her true colours. They were hoarding food and distributing them to "their people". Their action has only reinforced my idea that the Federal and the State Government must be from different parties. This is needed for check and balance.

Malaysian must realize that for the sake of our own lives and our own children lives, we have to have balance of power. It was because of lack of balance of power; the water catchment area that is a state land was given to MBF and is now known as "Bukit Antarabangsa" . In my assessment, the government is liable. In this case, the government was led by BN in the state of Selangor and at National level past 50 odd years that is liable for the suffering of the people of Bukit Antarabangsa. They are liable because they alienated unsuitable land for development. They are liable for giving the people the false sense of security by approving development plans and projects. They are liable for hiding information from the people that shows that the area that we are buying is not safe for living.

I will only vote for balance of power in the future and UMNO will not be part of that balance.

True Equality

2008-11-06T10:03:00.004+08:00

DISCLAIMER:- Before you call me a racist, I DID NOT WRITE THIS. This is merely an email I received and am just sharing with you the views some people have with this issue. And remember, for every one of these emails, there is surely a response to this bouncing around the internet for sure. So no nned to get violent with me as, again, I DID NOT WRITE THIS.

I know I have not written anything for a while now, and this doesn't really count, but I thought I get back into writing again, slowly. Maybe things like this may spark me to write something.

Email starts here:-

Just something most malays would agree with...

Sometimes, I don't understand what more do you guys (chinese) want? You want the Malays to share what's ours, but you never want to share yours with us. You want to take from us but you never want to give. In order to live in harmony, we have to give and take and not just take.

Simple examples:

1. Chinese employers would never promote a Malay to a Managerial level and above even if he is much more qualified and knowledgeabe than the rest of the Chinese employees. BUT, you want Malays to give higher ranks/posts to Chinese in government organizations.

2. You want to be called Malaysian and to be treated the same as Bumis BUT you refuse to practice National Language, like a true Malaysian citizen.

3. You want to be called Malaysian BUT you never want to accept the history of this land - the historical facts of Tanah Melayu, Chinese relationship with Communism or your great ancestors history of migrating to this land.

4. You want UiTM to be opened to Chinese BUT you never want to abolish your racist schools that instill racisme and separate your children from the Bumis and make it harder for us to accept you and vice versa. Deny all you want, but till you can tell the truth, there is no truce.

5. You want to be called a Malaysian BUT you don't really acknowledge our Sultan. In fact, you act as if the Sultan only belongs to the Malays and Chinese has nothing to do with them. I've met a Chinese who doesnt even know what Agong means.

6. Chinese-controlled banks would try hard not the help Malay entreprenuers BUT you want he government to help Chinese entrepreneurs all the same.

The truth is, you don't want to be a Malaysian, you just want to have the country all to you. You don't want to embrace Malaysian culture, national language, perlembagaan and our history - YOU JUST WANT CHINESE TO RULE MALAYSIA AND BE THE PM. That's all you want, isn't it?

Do you really think the Australian would let the Chinese become the head of their country one fine day - in ten or twenty years from now when the Chinese bred all over Australia? Or do you think the American can even imagine a Chinese President? Or British would accept an Indian PM?

Then why Malaysia must be different? Because you thought that Malays are inferior race and you are superior and therefore you should rule us???

You know, Chinese are very chauvinist. I know you know it but you don't care - that's how chauvinist you are.

My Australian cousin once expressed her hatred towards the Chinese for thinking of themselves as Australians just because their grandfather migrated there some time ago.

One American movie starring Eddie Murphy once insinuated that Chinese are really racist and hate every other races. It said that Chinese only treat others well when others can give them business.

And for Indians, my English colleague has once expressed his hatred towards indians for behaving as if they belong in Britain more than the English themselves.

Maybe Chinese should learn some manners: You can't go to people's place and not respecting the host and expect the host to accept you as family.

The fact is: Chinese never respect others but expect others to respect them. Chinese never respect others cause its not included in their teachings and their culture. They will throw their elderlies in the old folk homes. They will leave their children in the care of the babysitters for all week. They don't believe in God, they just believe in money.

But then, my last word is that: NOT ALL CHINESE ARE LIKE THAT - IN MY OWN CIRCLE OF PEOPLE, THE RATIO IS ABOUT 5 OUT OF 40 CHINESE ARE REALLY CONSIDERATE, TOLERANT AND KIND PERSONS.

Then again, NOT ALL MALAYS ARE PERFECT TOO. Some Malays are reallyracist. They are mostly those in PAS but somehow for the sake of power (which actually belongs to DAP), they started to sound ridiculously open lately and not racist anymore.

I still remember how I defend the Chinese from PAS some time ago. This is because UMNO Malays used to be the ones that are not racist, untill lately that they started to sound like it.

Why? Because they can't take it anymore with the Hindraff and Majlis Peguam and then, the Chinese not wanting to accept fact as being the immigrant - long time ago and purposely create havoc by jumping up and down for nothing.

There's nothing wrong with the fact, we all do accept that you are a Malaysian now but why can't you accept the Malaysian historical fact that your great ancestors are immigrant to this country? And why must you deny the fact of the social agreement? Why try to change history if you don't
have any evil agenda towards the Malays and the country?

This NEP and social agreement things are not worth a fuss. The Chinese are not satisfied with it. But then, the Malays are also not satisfied with a lot of things - especially the economy. We never blame the Chinese though, we accept the facts that Malays are not a good money maker as compared to you. The NEP is not taking anything away from the Chinese, it's just merely trying to create a base for the Malays. If it fails, then what is your problem? It's the Malays problem. It never give you any harm, the proof is that the Malaysian economy still belongs to you. Even
you said so. So isn't that not enough? Why so greedy? You want more, you just want everything, right?

In a multi-racial country, you can't satisfy everybody, you can't make everybody happy. Malays are not satisfied, Chinese are not satisfied and Indians are not satisfied in different ways and issues. That means that the system is doing an acceptable justice to everybody. If one of these
three groups is truly satisfied, then, something must be wrong somewhere as it would surely means a great dissatisfaction of the other two groups.

You know, Malays are known as very tolerant people, that is why you are where you are today. But then, the Chinese started to assume that tolerant also means stupid and that is why you are trying so hard to take over everything from us. Now, bear this in mind, that MALAYS WOULD OPENLY ACCEPT ANYBODY AS FAMILY AND SHARE EVERYTHING WITH THEM. But please, respect us, our rights, our limits. There is nothing in the world that has no limit accept the power of Allah. So, when people are willing to share their belongings with you, you have to share yours with them too. You have to give and take, didn't your mother teach you that? Or does it only applies to your own kind????

Now, I don't like all these racial discussions. I would love to have equality with all Malaysians - with a condition that they are truly Malaysian by heart, in culture, language, history, education... and everything.

Enough said. Now, why don't we just unite and get rid of Dollah Badawi once and for all, and we can continue to live in harmony again.

About Dato' Ahmad Ismail - if anybody want him to apologize then show us proof that the Chinese great-great-great grandfathers are not immigrants to this country once upon a time ago. Fair, right?

Email ends.

Food for thought.

Malaysia and the Beijing Olympics

2008-08-20T11:44:00.011+08:00

Two words. WE SUCK. As a nation we suck and as a sporting nation we suck more. We have a population of 20-25 million and we only send just 33 athletes? Not to mention the 29 officials who REALLY need to be there. But that is a whole other blog entry. Anyway, Malaysia is banking on badminton, archery and cycling to deliver the medals. HAH.. So we, at best, might only get 3 Medals? Whoopee!

What happened to our Hockey team? Soccer team? Lawn Bowling team? Too bad Ten Pin Bowling and Squash aren't Olympic events, we might of had a glimmer of hope. Nicol David is the current Women's Squash world number one, so one gold there.

As it turns out, so far, we have won one silver medal and looks like it would be Malaysia's ONLY Olympic Medal for 2008. Thanks to the efforts of Lee Chong Wei, who incidentally, is ranked number 2 in the world. Lee lost the gold medal match to China's World number 1 'Super Dan' in a stadium filled to capacity with a large partisan home crowd that urged the local hero to victory. Take nothing away from Lee, we are so proud of him. Lee gets RM 300,000 for the Silver, but I say give him the RM1,000,000 gold medal bonus as he single handed-ly united a nation and instilled some pride back in an otherwise dismal Olympic outing.

Our archery team cracked under pressure and did not perform to the best of their abilities. Disappointment was written all over the faces of the Malaysian archery trio which failed to advance to the Olympics men's team semifinal after losing by five points to Italy in their Olympics debut. What stood out in their 213-218 loss to the Italians was their lack of exposure in the highly-charged atmosphere of the Olympic Archery Field. I say again, "cracked under pressure".

And our Cycling team? Well here is and excerpt from a news article about one of our cyclist. "Meanwhile In the quarter-finals of the men's sprint Chris Hoy, who broke the Olympic record in qualifying on Sunday, was at his imperious best against the flamboyant Malaysian Mohd Awang dismissing him in two classy rides." See the words used... FLAMBOYANT and DISMISS. You can always spot the Flamboyant Malaysian no matter where you go. We Malaysians seem to worry about looking the part more than focusing on the important aspect of actually performing. In this case, it didn't matter what expensive state of the art equipment Malaysia used, genetically, we were at a disadvantage. Chris Hoy is like 7ft tall or something, and ONE of his legs was the size BOTH of the Flamboyant legs combined.

Point being, why can't we compete in events where we have a chance of wining, in events where our genetics complement the sport? Events like Badminton of course. Events like, the 50 Meter Air Pistol or Ping Pong or Rhythmic Gymnastics or Sailing or Fencing or Horse Jumping? You get the idea. There was one Olympics years ago, we actually entered a guy for the 100 Meter Sprint. Needless to say he came in dead last but broke our pitiful national record of 15 seconds or something. Yea!

By the way, did you see the 100 Meter race? That Bolt fella jogged his way to the world record, smiling and waving as he crossed the line. This guy probably sprinted out of his mother's womb from birth. It has been proven, that Negros have an extra muscle in their legs that give them that extra spring in their step. So there you go.

We as a nation have wasted millions investing in sports and where has it gotten us? Dead last and reputation of being stylish. Its truly the Twin Tower syndrome of wanting to be the best but not wanting to put in the hard work, and just paying for it.

Maybe it is the millions that is the problem. With politics and the corrupt leaders the constantly meddling in the affairs of sports. Everyone is looking to make a cut for themselves and not for the benefit of our athletes. As I said earlier, we send how many officials? 29? In fact, after all the middlemen.. how much is spent and how much of the budget actually filters down and reaches the sport?

I could tell you how much.... but first, what's is in it for me?

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 50's, 60's & 70's!!

2008-08-11T21:58:00.003+08:00

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because, WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes after running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms.......WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good. Let your kids know how brave (and lucky) their parents were. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

Popeye's Mom

2008-07-31T17:18:00.002+08:00

After years of searching.... they found her. Popeye's mother. Estelle.

"Eat your spinach Boy!!"

Happy Birthday To Me (My yearly mandatory blurb about getting old)

2008-07-15T12:24:00.006+08:00

Yup that's right boy and girls, it my birthday again. This time I turn 33. Oh God I'm old. Just looking at myself in the mirror, I can instantly see the multitude of white strands that is my hair. Last year, I would be hard pressed to find one let alone a whole bunch of them. Every morning I thank Allah that I'm still aloud to breathe.

Overall I think I have more to be thankful this year than I did last year. Career wise, things are moving along and on the home front, we are looking forward to the birth of Number 2. Hopefully if all goes well, in the first week of September. I guess as you get older, you start appreciating the things you have more and more. Ultimately, you start living in the moment as oppose to when you were younger, always kept wanting more and never happy with what you had.

My son is now 5, and everyday I cherish my moments with him. Everyday, he surprises me with something new. I am truly proud of him. Earlier this year I bought him a PSP for his birthday. Man did he take to that like fish to water. Just like Daddy.... or Dodi to him.

To my darling wife, I say thank you for putting up with me and without you I am not whole. I know it may seem like I take you for granted, but trust me I don't. I thank god I found you. You are my soul mate.

To my family, Ayah, Mak, Nini, Didi, Adam, and Maziah, I would be nowhere without you all. So thank you and I love you.

Technology is truly a wonderful thing, this year, I received the most wishes for my Birthday EVER. Thanks mainly to Facebook and text messaging. Some may say the world has become very impersonal and sterile. I say it has become a small world after all.

In a time where inflation threatens the serenity of our lives, in a time when governments change and money rules all, I take solace in my Family and Friends. Here's to the next 33 years. God Willing.

I probably won't get any presents this year due to the fact that I'm old enough to play the Daddy in a sitcom staring Hillary Duff, so here is a picture of what I bought myself for my birthday.... A Nokia E71.... this thing is close to the perfect phone. It has everything.. Wifi, GPS, Mp3 and the Kitchen Sink!AND FINALLY... GIVE MYSELF SOME EPIC BOOBS TO STARE AT.... BECAUSE I CAN.

Fuel Price Increase, Nothing but lies!

2008-07-02T15:42:00.010+08:00

With the recent increase in Fuel Prices in Malaysia, there has been much unrest. The Malaysian people are struggling to come to grips with the reality of the reduction in subsidies that have, for a long time, kept our fuel one of the cheapest in this region. Malaysian local newspaper The Star recently made a comparison of fuel prices between Thailand, Singapore and Indonesia. It drove me up the wall with their ignorance. Such hypocritical bull crap.

The Star wrote that in Thailand, petrol cost RM3.90/liter and we here in Malaysia still are better off. What cock! Does The Star realize that in Thailand new cars are cheaper than Malaysia by RM10,000? And that the Thais only pay ONE life-time fee for their driving license? That means NO renewal fees. There is also NO Road Taxes in Thailand. And did you know that you can drive all the way from Hadtyai to Bangkok on a six lane highway without paying any Tolls? Well you can. Not so, for Malaysia unfortunately. The Star obviously cannot print these facts because of fear that the government might revoke their license. So much for freedom of speech.

As for Singapore, how can you compare accurately when they earn in Singapore Dollars? At RM5.20/liter compared to our RM2.75/liter. This has no relevance to us as it is not the same as they are earning in Singapore Dollars. You might as well say Europeans are paying RM10/liter for their Petrol. Now at RM5.20/liter thats SGD 2.20/liter, still cheaper than Malaysia in view of fact that Singapore is not a crude oil exporter. Are you saying that you fill up petrol in Singapore by paying Ringgit? Ass.

We should compare apples to apples. Not comparing like saying, Durians in Malaysia is much cheaper than Durian's in Japan. Of course that is the case as Japan is not Durian producer. Comparing Malaysian Durian prices with Thailand would be more relevant and accurate.

For Indonesia we might say is cheaper there at RM2.07/liter but compare that to their level of income per capita. Peanuts. Let's not for get exchange rates again.

Now, let us compare the price with OIL PRODUCING countries:

UAE - RM1.19/litre
Eygpt - RM1.03/litre
Bahrain - RM0.87/litre
Qatar - RM0.68/litre
Kuwait - RM0.67/litre
Saudi Arabia - RM0.38/litre
Iran - RM0.35/litre
Nigeria - RM0.32/litre
Turkmenistan - RM0.25/litre
Venezuela - RM0.16/litre

MALAYSIA - RM2.70/litre

What the holy hell... Remember these are OIL PRODUCING COUNTRIES... WHICH WE ARE.
Something is going on here. It just wrong.

Here is another perspective:

As of last month a Toyota Vios cost about RM89,000. In the international market, a Toyota Vios is about USD 19,000

USD 19,000 = RM 62,700 (using the indicative rates of USD 1 = RM 3.30) That makes Malaysian Vios owners pay an extra RM 26,300.

This RM 26,300 should be cost of operations, profit and tax because the transportation costs have been factored in to the USD 19,000.

RM 26,300/ RM625 petrol rebate per year translates to a Vios being used for 42.08 years.

The government now has offered a rebate on Road Taxes. For cars under 2000cc, you get a rebate of RM625. Which by the way you can only collect after 3 months of renewing your road tax. Bolox!

Anyway, this RM625 translates to you have to use the Vios for 42.08 years just to break even the amount paid in taxes for the usage of a foreign car. Would anyone use any kind of car for that long? The answer is resounding 'hell no!'

Now with these numbers in front of us, does the subsidy sound like a subsidy or does it sound like a penalty? This just seems to be a heavy increment in our daily cost of living as we are not only charged with high car taxes but also with a drastic increase in fuel price.

Car taxation is government profit. Fuel sales is profit for Petronas which also translates into government profit. The government may say that this price increase is due to the world market and fuel price world wide. Come on, How stupid do you think we are?

We know the international rates are above the USD 130/barrel. We understand the fact that the fuel prices are increasing worldwide and analysts continue to contradict their reasons on why this phenomenon is ocurring. Some blame Bush as he plunders around the world, some blame climate change, and there are others which say petroleum 'wells' are getting scarce. Maybe a little of all, maybe none of these reasons.

Again, lets look at the numbers. 1 barrel = 159 liters x RM2.70/liter = RM 429 or USD 134

On one hand, we are paying the full cost of 1 barrel of crude oil with RM2.70 per liter but on the other hand the crude oil only produces 46% of fuel.

Malaysia sells crude oil per barrel at USD130 buys back Fuel per barrel at USD134. And not forgetting, every barrel of fuel is produced with 2 barrels of crude oil.

1 barrel crude oil = produce 46% fuel (or half of crude oil), therefore

2 barrel crude oil = approximately 1 barrel fuel

In other words, each time we sell 2 barrels of crude oil, equivalently we will buy back 1 barrel of fuel.

Financially,

Malaysia sell 2 barrels of crude oil @ USD 130/barrel = USD 260 = RM 858
Then, Malaysia will buy back fuel @ USD 134/barrel = RM 442/barrel.
Thus, Malaysia earns net profit of USD 126 = RM 416 for each 2 barrel of crude sold/exported vs imported 1 barrel of fuel !!!

USD260 - USD134 = USD126 i.e RM416

So where does this extra USD 126/barrel income go?
How is this fund being managed?
What specifically is the govenment spending this money on?

Another analysis:

1 barrel crude oil = 159 liters.

46-47% of a barrel of crude oil = fuel that we use in our vehicles.

46% of 159 = 73.14 liters @ RM 2.70/liter x 73.14 liter = RM197.48 of fuel
per barrel of crude oil.

This is only 46% of the barrel, mind you. Using RM 3.30 = USD 1, we get that a barrel of crude oil produces USD 59.84 worth of petrol fuel (46% of 1barrel).

USD 59.84 of USD 130/barrel turns out to be 46% of a barrel as well.

Another 54% = bitumen, kerosene, and natural gases and so many more.

And this makes a balance of USD 70.16 that has not been accounted for.

So this is where I got curious. Where is the subsidy if we are paying 46% of the price of a barrel of crude oil when the production of petrol/barrel of crude oil is still only 46%?

In actual fact, we still pay for this as they are charged in the forms of fuel surcharge by airlines and road taxes for the building of the road (because they use the tar/bitumen) and many more reasons for charging us but let's not include that in these calculations.

As far as I know, only the politicians who live in Putrajaya and come for their Parliament meetings in Kuala Lumpur (approximately 60+ km) are the ones to gain as they can claim their fuel and toll charges from the money of the people's TAX.

It is so disappointing to see this happen time and time again to the Malaysian public, where we are deceived by the propaganda spun by these politicians through the control they have over the media.

Which infinately brilliant superb economist or accountant in the govnernment, that came to the conclusion to equate the rebates with the engine capacity of the vehicles?

An average office clerk may own a second hand 1300cc proton Iswara costing $7,000 (rebate = $625) while the flithy rich leaders of this country with their fleet of 10 new cars of BMW, Audi and Volvo all less than 2000cc, costing millions, and get a total rebate of $625 x 10 = $6,250!

Misleading concept of Subsidy:

The word 'subsidy' has been brandished by the BN (ruling party) government as if it has so generously helped the rakyat (people) and in doing so incurred losses. This simple example will help to explain the fallacy:

Ahmad is a fisherman. He sells a fish to you at $10 which is below the market value of $15. Let's assume that he caught the fish from the abundance of the sea at little or no cost. Ahmad claims that since the market value of the fish is $15 and he sold you the fish for $10, he had subsidized you $5 and therefore made a loss of $5.

Question : Did Ahmad actually make a profit of $10 or loss of $5 which he claimed is the subsidy?

Answer: Ahmad makes a profit of $10 which is the difference of the selling price ($10) minus the cost price ($0 since the fish was caught from the abundance of the sea). There is no subsidy as claimed by Ahmad.

The BN government claims that it is a "subsidy" because the oil is kept and treated as somebody else's property (you know who). By right, the oil belongs to all citizens of the country and the government is a trustee for the people. So as in the above simple example, the BN government cannot claim that it has subsidised the people!

LIES....... ITS ALL LIES.

Candidates for Man of the Year

2008-06-02T19:06:00.005+08:00

Its that time to review the candidates for this years Man of the Year. This is an award that honors the all round excellence of Men. It is awarded to the Man that has shown year round manliness and gusto while at the same time maintaining a high standard of dignity and self respect. Here are the contestants.

Contestant No.1:- Johnny Bravo from Wales (seen here with his loving wife Shantelle, together they own and run a small pub)

Contestant No.2 :- Sidwell Botsworth from The Peoples Republic of China (seen here taking time off his humanitarian work with orphan children)

Contestant No.3 :- Recardo Montesante from Spain (seen here taking a rest after a hard day of forrest conservation activities. He really loves the Outdoors)

And there you have it, cast your votes via text message at 88000 or email your votes to manoftheyear@manoftheyear.com, subject: winner.

Voting closes June 15th 2008. Thank you. Winner will be announced by Post.

Why Philippinoes are generally good singers

2008-05-20T18:30:00.003+08:00

Have you ever wondered why people from the Philippines like to sing? And when they do, its normally not bad? You know what I'm talking about, you'd be at your friends house, and he'd have a Maid from Philippines, and as she's cleaning, she starts to hum or sing along softly to the tune on the radio. This year on American Idol, there even was a Pinoy girl, Ramiele Malubay, who made it to the Hollywood round.

During my trip to the Philippines, I found out why. Simple. The reason is, they have several KARAOKE channels on TV! Thats 24/7, Free Karaoke for everyone who owns a TV! So, have a party, plug in a mic, and turn on the TV! Its that simple! To hell with copyright infringements, just air those songs with words and images that have nothing relating to the song! Really, I flick on this channel and it was a girl in a Bikini, frolicking on the beach, as you sing along to Elton John's Circle of Life from the Lion King. Heh.. Go figure.

An ode to the Fart

2008-04-25T09:15:00.000+08:00

A fart it is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.
.
A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud
.
A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song......
.
A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.
.
A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......
.
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.
.
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.
.
But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!
Kinda brings a tear to your eye don't it?

Why first-born children are brighter than their siblings

2008-04-13T22:38:00.005+08:00

I found this interesting article from the Daily Mail in the U.K (link)
So siblings, don't get mad.... its just an article.. I mean who am I to argue with scientific fact?

First-born children are more intelligent than their siblings, research has found.
The oldest child is more likely to have a higher IQ, and the youngest likely to have the lowest, say researchers.
Scientists at Vrije University, Amsterdam, studied 650 children whose IQs were tested three times until they were 18.
Dorret Boomsma, whose work will be published in the journal Intelligence, said: "The effect is seen in boys and girls.
"The highest IQ scores were in children without any older siblings, followed by children with one older sibling.
"Children with two or more older siblings obtained the lowest score."
Why this occurs is unclear but it is thought that the level of attention parents lavish on first-borns boosts their intellectual development.
But while the oldest may be the brightest, another study shows the youngest is the most favoured.
Research on 2,000 families by the University of California found first-borns are achievers, who are dominant, religious, conscientious and neurotic.
Middle-borns are rebellious, less religious, impulsive and open to new experiences.
Last-borns are agreeable, sociable and creative - and are often the most favoured child.

HAHHHAHHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHHEHEHEH so suck it kids!!! hehehehehhehe

Cut the crap, who cares?

2008-04-09T15:21:00.004+08:00

I just want to say that I have been totally uninspired to write anything. Lately, nothing has made me mad enough or happy enough to write anything of importance. I honestly wonder if anyone still reads this blog... let alone care. Monkey balls.

A poem comes to mind. A composition of mindless and silly bunch of words I can string together.

Blogging, Blogging,
Smoggling, Smoggling,
Oh what a waste of time this is,
I wish I were a shoe.

Typing, Typing,
Sleeping, Slapping,
Oh look how the rain drops gloom this day,
I wish I were a zit.

How deep is you love?
How deep is your anus?
How shallow are armpits?
How shallow are the puddles of pee in the school yard?

Crapping, Crapping,
Shitting, Slapping,
Oh how the crap is never round,
I wish I were a toilet brush.

Stab me, poke me,
Wake me, Slap me,
I feel the future near,
I fear the future here,
I wish I were a million bucks.

And thats about it...
Untill I get inspired next.
Untill I get my ass in check.

I'm out.

The Financial Crisis – The Worst Is Yet To Come

2008-03-29T17:32:00.003+08:00

Dear Friends,
A friend sent me the following article.Thought you would like to know.

The Financial Crisis – The Worst Is Yet To Come

A guru once told me that for most people, it is easier to accept and believe a lie than Truth. To accept truth is to accept a paradigm shift – a shift that challenges our perception, our comfort zone and the harsh rejection of a false reality for which we have been entombed.

Why do we allow ourselves to be lulled into a state of mind whereby we accept uncritically the propaganda by the financial elites in the mass media?

1. There is so much information out there that it is just impossible to check and verify each and every bit of information. So we take the easy way out and assume that they are correct and verifiable.

2. Thinking is hard work and we don't seem to have the time to think things through.

And that is why it is so easy to subdue the masses through propaganda. Anyone who challenges the official line will be demonized and labeled a pariah. It is just not worth the effort. Our mind ceases to function.

Try this exercise. In a normal working day, from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed, how many hours do you actually devote to thinking about issues that affect your life and your family?
Less than fifteen minutes!
In this article I would like to invite you to think critically about certain issues which will enable you to see through the lies and propaganda of the financial elites concerning the current global financial crisis.
For the purposes of this exercise, I will use the headlines of leading international newspapers.

First Headline:
New York Times Sunday 16th March 2008: "JPMorgan Chase Says It Will Acquire Bear Stearns for $2 a Share."

The week preceding the sale of Bear Stearns, its shares were quoted at US$60 per share. The sale of Bear Stearns was broadcasted by all the major international news agencies. This was followed by the Fed's announcement on 18th March 2008, that it had reduced its target for the Federal Fund Rate 75 basis points to 2-1/4 percent.
The Dow went wild and rose over 400 points.
The official line then went out – The crisis is contained, the worst is over. The Market will rally. The good old days are back!

Please consider my reaction. "This is baloney! Horseshit and bullshit. If you are still in the market, take whatever gains and get out of the market!"

Let me now take you through my thinking process and show you how I arrived at my conclusions.

Step 1: I did a research of the price of Bear Stearns in the 4th quarter of 2007. It was quoted at US$180 per share. In early 2008, it went down to US$80. In early March, it plummeted to US$60 and just before the sale it was US$27.

Yet, JP Morgan Chase bought Bear Stearns for US$2 per share, paying approximately US$250 million.

Step 2: Further research showed that the HQ building was worth at least US1 billion. Therefore, Bear Stearns' liabilities must be horrendous and taking everything into consideration, the quoted price of US$27 on Friday, 14th March 2008 was either overvalued or JP Morgan took advantage of the situation to demand from the Fed, as a condition for taking over Bear Stearns, that it must be at bargain basement price.

Step 3: Given this scenario of a leading global investment bank in such dire situation, how can anyone trust the valuations of the other global banks that are equally exposed to the toxic wastes of sub-prime mortgages, CDOs, CLOs, CDSs etc.

Step 4: The deal was structured and finalized between the Fed, JP Morgan Chase and Bear Stearns on Sunday, 16th March 2008. There can be only one conclusion – such drastic and rapid intervention by the Fed on Sunday is to prevent the total collapse of Bear Stearns before the opening bell on Monday. This back room deal stinks!

Bear Stearns is therefore insolvent, bankrupt in layman's terms.

Yet prior to this collapse, financial analysts of leading financial newspapers and brokerage houses were giving clients the "buy" signal. So does it make any sense to rely on such advice without thinking through?

There is no such thing as a "free market". It is only "free" for the big boys of Wall Street to make money out of suckers, and should the market turn against them the Central Banks are "free" to intervene to bail them out at the expense of the small guys! This is the stark reality in every major depression and recession in the last century. The coming depression will be no exception. People will put up with this nonsense and rip-off and allow the fat cats to get away with this massive fraud and wealth transfer.

Second Headline:

Thomson Financial -12th March 2008

"The International Monetary Fund (IMF) today warned authorities worldwide to 'think the unthinkable' in planning to cope with a mounting crisis in the global financial system."

Given this warning by none other than the IMF, why are people still debating whether there is a global financial crisis? Why is our government insisting that Malaysia will not be affected by this mess? Why are people accepting President Bush's assessment that here is no recession in the US?

Once again, let's go through the thinking process.

What can be the "Unthinkable" referred to in the above quote?

Why is the IMF avoiding the use of the word "Depression"?

Therefore, to think the unthinkable is to adopt a paradigm shift, to prepare for the worst scenario. Yet, there are people who refuse to accept this reality. It is just mind boggling.

Those of you who have followed my "Red Alerts" since last year but refused to accept my prognosis will have to reckon with the IMF assessment, albeit nine months behind the curve!

The IMF has now wised up to reality and is taking corrective measures. I suggest that you prepare yourself for the coming financial Tsunami.

An Intro to "Healthy" Living

2008-03-18T13:58:00.003+08:00

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain = Good !

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO . Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

The E! Channel is starting to irritate me

2008-03-05T12:21:00.008+08:00

When Astro (Malaysia's only satellite T.V provider) announced that they will be adding the E! Channel, I was very excited. Celebrity and Entertainment news 24 hours a day? , "Woohoo!" I screamed. After a few months, I must say the novelty has worn off. I find myself getting extremely irritated by the 'up beat-ness' of it all. I mean seriously, how excited can you be that Brittney has finally found some time to see her children!? Then again, why the hell do we care? I blame the E! Channel for making it news to begin with. To hell with Britney, Paris, Lindsey and whoever else. But I'm getting a little side tracked here, my beef is with the E! Channel and those irritating fuckers on 'The Daily Ten'.

Ryan Seacrest, Giuliana Dipandi Rancic, Debbie Matenopoulos, Catt Sadler and Sal Masekela are all astronomically irritating. From the sound of their voices to the their 'up-beat' style, they have collectively put me off watching the E! Channel all together. Maybe its the excessive repeats or maybe its the content, but all I know is, if I see the channel is on, I change it or switch the T.V off! In my house, the other inhabitants insist on keeping the E! Channel on even if no one is watching. As if, the sudden news of Heath Ledger's untimely demise has any bearing on their lives. Not to mention the numerous follow up investigation specials on why he took his life. Bah!

Oh lets not forget, the recent Academy Awards (or any other excuse for celebrities to get together) and how the E! Channel basks in the glory of its godly know-it-all attitude. "Oh look, she is wearing green, that's was sooooo last season, but we love the shoes!" Two hours of red carpet pre-Oscars bullshit and then of course the countless post-Oscars crap. Dissecting everything to who wore what and why. Who arrived with who and said what. Who got sad to who was the most drunk. Utter utter nonsense.

Its funny, if you watch too much E!, you find yourself becoming more and more stupid. Seriously, you will feel as if your brain is melting. If you don't believe me, try it. I give you just 30 minutes, and you will know what I'm talking about here. I think if you want to torture someone, lock them up in a room, tie them down to a wooden chair, have them watch repeats of the Daily Ten with the sound blasting loudly. Ryan Seacrest's voice will bounce around in you head until you die, like it has throughout me writing this........ I have to stop now.

Coca Cola The Miracle Solution

2008-02-27T11:02:00.006+08:00

Here now... a word from our sponsors.

DID YOU KNOW THAT COCA COLA HAS SO MANY OTHER APPLICATIONS?

1. In the United States of America, the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.

2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and it will be gone in two days.

3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the 'real thing' sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.

4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.

5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.

6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Apply a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.

7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.

8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of Coke into the load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.

ADDITIONAL USEFUL INFORMATION:

1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. It will dissolve a nail in about four days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase of osteoporosis

2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup! (the concentrate) the commercial trucks must use a hazardous Material place cards reserved for highly corrosive materials.

3. The distributors of Coke have been using it to clean engines of the trucks for about 20 years

..emmmm................................. I feel a little thirsty...... I think I'll have........ a Coke.

(source :- forwarded email from Daryl Sui ..thanks Daryl!)

Lord of the Dumb Ass Ring

2008-02-20T17:03:00.000+08:00

2007 was a really crap year for movies. Apart from '300' and 'The Transformers Movie', the rest were somewhat forgettable and did not live up to expectation. Even with the plethora of pirated DVDs on offer here, I find myself uninspired to purchase new movies, even at these rediculously low prices. So, in my boredom, I recently completed watching the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Over 3 days mind you, I'm not crazy enough to watch it back to back, that is a 10 hour ordeal! Now this brings me to my post.

After watching it again, I have one question. Why the hell didn't Gandalf the all knowing git, simply get the damn giant Eagles to fly Frodo to the mountain of Mordor to begin with? Or for that matter, fly HIMSELF to the mountain! I see no reason to drag these four borderline-gay-Hobbits through hell and back, when all Gandalf had to do was to carry the Ring himself to mountain and destroy it. In 'The Two Towers' Gandalf had the power to summon the Eagles to his rescue (via the help from a Butterfly don't forget). So he could have easily called for them at the meeting of the Fellowship at the start of the first movie. Total time? One hour at the most, Sauron and his massive army..... dead. Problem solved.

If you argue that Gandalf would not be able to withstand the Ring's evil pull, I say, he sure didn't have a problem with the Saruman magic-eye-orb thing that he simply covered with a towel. In any case don't tell me he can't resist the Ring for one hour of flying time? He doesn't have to wear it round his neck.. just wrap it up in his towel. Done.

If you argue that the evil flying Nazgol will stop the Eagles, I say, it was the Eagles that came to the rescue to kill them at the end of 'Return of the King'. Moreover, with Gandalf riding the Eagle, his magic staff would emit that blinding light that the Nazgol is afraid off (as seen in 'Return of the King' also). So fly in, drop ring in lava, go home and celebrate.

Instead, 10 hours of movie, Frodo almost killing himself, Golumn the nut, mountains, trolls, massive battles, and lets not forget the fact that it took Frodo and pals 12 months to go and come home. Poor bastards.

I'm only writing as I feel kind of cheated in a way, because even the author, after all the hardship indured to destroy the ring, J.R.R Tolkien then simply wrote, "...and Gandalf rescued Frodo and Sam from the mountain with the help of the Eagles", which to me, was him being fed-up and just wanted to wrap up his book after writing pages and pages of shit.

My Top 10 Favourite Disney Women of All Time

2008-02-03T00:47:00.000+08:00

Its that time again for another Top 10 list. This time we look at the magical world of Disney. You may have seen this list before while randomly surfing the net, and so I just thought I'd might as well do mine. My right of passage to the Internet gods perhaps? Anyway, the beauty about these pixel based women, is they never grow old and will always look as pristine as the day they were drawn. One sick thing about this, is also the fact that now, my father, my son and I may share the same lustful view of them and its perfectly fine!
This list will not include animal-type characters like Duchess from 'Aristocats' or Feline from 'Bambi' as that too might be a little too far! Even for me. No doubt they are worthy of being on this list for other reasons of course, mind you. I will start with number 10 and work my way to my all time favourite. I hope you agree with my selection. If not, let me know in the comments section. I love to hear from you. So here we go!

Number 10:- Ariel from 'The Little Mermaid'

I know I said no animal-types but come on, she is at least half human. Don't forget, she does turn into full human at the end of the movie, so no worries. Perhaps underage at the time of the film, but I like to imagine that by 2008, she's all grown up and mature. Definately smoking hot as she wears nothing but sea shells the whole time and that firey carefree personality is always going to be a hit at parties. Also, she is perpetually wet, so thats got to be good, right?

Number 9:- Pocahontas from 'Pocahontas'

Poke a hont's ass... Ah yes, the blood of the true American woman. There is something very sexy about that untamed, wild and hot native american woman. Naive in the ways of western love, these women await to be conquered. I wasn't to keen on this movie however. The only other good thing to have come out of this film is the Vanessa William's song 'Colors of the Wind'. Oh and did I mention I love that long black silky smooth hair, worthy of any Shampoo T.V ad. I imagine she smells nice for some reason, although there was no soap at the time, I'm sure those native Indians had some other natural alternative, like crushed berries and Bison milk or something.

Number 8:- Giselle from 'Enchanted'

Honestly, I prefer the animated Giselle rather than the actress who portrays her in human form, Amy Adams. Some how that red haired freckled face tart just doesn't quite live up to my expectation of a Disney princess. Since 'Enchanted' was released in 2007, Giselle is suppose to epitomize a "Disney Woman", encompassing all of the previous princesses characteristics like Cinderella and Snow White. Somehow I feel no actress would adequately fill these massive shoes and do this role justice. Suffice to say that we should leave fantasy where it belongs, in the fantasy world.

Number 7:- Megara from 'Hercules'

From Greek mythology times, the term 'goddess' never been more appropriate until now. Megara truly is a stunner. She wears, what has to be the softest cotton outfit ever made. The lightest of breezes would undress her. Strong, sexy and able to tame Hercules himself. Makes one wonder if any mere mortal would be man enough for such a woman. Hercules was invited by Zeus to live in Olympus, which was indeed originally his wish, but he decides to live his life on earth as a mortal with Megara. Although he will eventually die, he believes that even an immortal life without Megara would be empty. Enough said.

Number 6:- Jane from 'Tarzan'

Jane just screams hotness. You've got to love the tie and white gloves. Prim, proper and British what more do you want. One concern of course is the fact that she digs the swinging Orangutan type of a man. She likes her man raw and wild. Perhaps she thinks she can tame him or perhaps she is looking to unleash her inner whore-ness through wild animal sex with a sexual beast like Tarzan. We hope for the latter.

Number 5:- Babette/Fifi from 'Beauty and the Beast'

The feather duster from 'Beauty and the Beast' is a minor character with a distinct personality. She is alluring and prissy, can make shallow choices, but has a caring heart. Her animation design is cute and her voicing is tres French. Now for the pressing question...what is her name? In the sequels, she is Fi-Fi, in the musical, she is Babette! Or...are they twins?!? Babette/Fi-Fi in a word is FEMININE. Her famous line from the movie, "Oh, Lumiere, we must do somezing!". French chamber maid? Clean my sheets when I done.

Number 4:- Esmerelda from 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame'

She's a firecracker with social consciences. And boy can she dance! But...what's up with her and that goat? I don't know if the fact that Esmerelda voice was done by Demi Moore or that Demi had just finish making the movie Striptease, but I can tell you her dance moves with a pole was all the rage. Those green eyes and that intense gypsy sexual energy is all I care about. Oh lets not forget that she can tolerate that irritating singing Hunchback. Thank god she doesn't fall for him, then she would be one of those sick, mental chicks and we wouldn't want that to happen.

Number 3:- Aurora from 'Sleeping Beauty'

Aurora, my first love. I think, 'Sleeping Beauty' was the first Disney movie I saw. Princess Aurora is named after the Roman goddess of the dawn "because she fills her father and mother's lives with sunshine." A very beautiful young woman, with shining blond hair, rose-red lips, attractive eyes, and a beautiful singing voice. Here is a tip, if you want a man to wake you with a kiss, go to sleep in full make up and hold a rose.

Number 2:- Jessica Rabbit from 'Who framed Roger Rabbit?'

Although it was made by the Disney studio, the film was released under the Disney subsidiary Touchstone Pictures to save face for Disney, from some of the film's potentially objectionable content.

I think I can safely say, Jessica Rabbit is simply too much woman for any man. Period. I guess thats why she is with a rabbit. A crazy one at that. Only a rabbit would be able to satisfy a woman like Jessica. Ever here the term 'hump like rabbits'? Just look at that hair, those lips and of course those gravity defying boobs all make for one hell of a super woman. Kathleen Turner's husky voice did this pixel vixen justice as you can imagine yourself losing control of your man juice as she calls you over to her side of the bed for a hug. If you even get that far that is.

AND FINALLY

Number 1:- Belle from 'Beauty and the Beast'

My all time, all favorite, all lovely number one pick... Belle. From the first scene where she sings about the baker and his tray, I was hooked. Lets see, she is a brunette, she's European, she is smart, she likes to read, she has a wild imagination, she would do anything to for her father and most of all, she does not fall for the idiot jock. She likes you for who you are on the inside. She does not care about how you look, only that you are kind and decent to her. Women like Belle are few and far in between, and if you find one, you should hang on the her like the Ring from 'Lord of the Rings'. Although innocent in the ways of love, she seemed not at phased of the prospect of being mounted by her half man half wilder beast boyfriend, now THAT is a woman. Oh so lovely Belle.

Can you read this?

2008-01-24T12:45:00.000+08:00

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty esdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Why I Fired My Secretary

2008-01-14T12:09:00.000+08:00

This kind of story reminds us to never take what we have in life, for granted..

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up
on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small
present for me..

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."

I thought...

Well, that's marriage for you,

but the kids...

They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent..

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! "
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.
Let's go !"

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day...

We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we ?"
I responded,"I guess not.What do you have in mind ?"
She said,"Let's drop by my apartment,it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment,Jane turned to me and said,"
Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.
I'll be right back." "Ok." I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ...

Followed by my wife,my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".

And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked.

Babe for 2008 - Gemma Atkinson

2008-01-08T23:42:00.000+08:00

Well it has been over a week into 2008, and all is well, so far. I think its time I give my prediction for the next 'it' girl for 2008. The next model, come actress, come celebrity, that I think will break out of England make it big in Hollywood. What do they feed their women in the U.K? They must be doing something right. I think it might be the fish 'n chips or Donner kebabs. I don't know what it is about British women that makes me go oh so mental. Is it the accent? Is it the healthy bodies? Is it the smell? Is it the heaving breasts coupled with a slender waist and meaty thighs? Or maybe its all of the above, combined? Yes definitely.

You only need Google names like Zeta Jones, Rhona Mitra, Kate Beckinsale, Keeley Hazell, Lucy Pinder, Kelly Brook, the list goes on and on. All smoking hot women. All from England. In 2006, I made a top ten list and listed unknown Michelle Ryan to be big in 2007. Sure enough, she was casted as the new Bionic Woman and she will also to star in several upcoming Hollywood movies.

And so, my pick for 2008 is Gemma Atkinson. Oh yes, Gemma.... sexy, sweet, wondrous, lovely, bold, exciting, Gemma. Born 16 November 1984 in Bury, Greater Manchester. Gemma is an actress, television personality and glamour & lingerie model. Oh and did I mention lingerie model? Bra's are her specialty if you have to ask. In early 2006, Atkinson underwent breast enlargement surgery, which took her bra size to a 34D. (Yay!!). She said in an interview that she lost weight due to a fitness regime and her bust size declined. (boo!). The surgery then gave them the original shape they once were. (yay! again!). Since launching her parallel career as a glamour model, Atkinson has appeared in provocative photoshoots in lingerie and swimwear, including non-nude topless shots, for men's magazines such as Arena, FHM, Loaded, Maxim, Zoo Weekly and Nuts. In October 2006, she appeared in three of the aforementioned magazines in one month, becoming one of the most prolific celebrity glamour models in the UK. In November 2006, it was announced by Zoo Weekly that Atkinson had agreed to lend her name to their regular "sex and relationships column".

In May 2007, Atkinson was announced as the "glamorous new face" of the British Grand Prix and the official "mascot" of the "hi-octane" championship at Silverstone on July 8. She was the face of the 2007 Tour de France. She has most recently been seen as the new face of the Lingerie chain La Senza, but recently has been replaced by Czech Supermodel Petra Nemcova. Her 2008 calendar was shot in Thailand, and was released on November 1st 2007. Gemma has stated she is proud of the more natural look of this calendar, as opposed to the glamorously stylised look of the 2007 product. In October 2007, Atkinson was elected the new face of Ultimo's D-G range. Atkinson features in the ITV reality series I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! which began in the UK on November 12, 2007. She became the 7th celebrity to be evicted from the jungle - which she appeared very pleased about.

I sure hope she makes it, and if she doesn't, she should continue to model as I will be extremely sad and flaccid if she quits. So good luck to you Gemma for 2008... just know, you can runaway to sunny Malaysia if no one wants you. Which is of course, is unlikely. Heh.
So look out for her people... I know I will.....

Tears of joy will stream down your face if you stare too long at her pictures.

I think I read somewhere that doctors recommend staring at breasts for few minutes at the start of everyday. Apparently as it helps moderate blood pressure. That sounds about right...

Happy New Year 2008 Jinggez!

2007-12-31T16:06:00.000+08:00

Where in the hell did 2007 go? Jokes aside, the term 'time flies' rings oh so true. It feels like yesterday, we were all worried about the Millennium bug, and now, that was 7 years ago. My brief review of 2007? Well 2007 went slightly better that 2006 and 2005 combined, ever so slightly mind you. All I can hope for is an upward trend in fortune and prosperity. What did 2007 teach me? Recent months have proven that there really is no such thing as freedom of speech. I really can't write recklously and expect no consequences. Tolerance, self restraint and a little more thought should always be at the forefront, so to speak. Well at the very least this is true where blogging is concerned anyway.

As I sit here trying to recall the events of 2007, my mind comes to a blank. I struggle to find someting worth mentioning here. Maybe its because events of 2007 were forgettable or not significant enough to remember? Maybe its because I'm getting old and my brain has to select what it chooses to store? Only god knows, and he ain't telling us! These days, I find myself thinking of the past less and less. A character trait I thought I would never lose. Don't get me wrong, sure, I reminisce about the days when I had 4 chicks in my car, cruising down Telawi Street. I miss the days of ripping my bike at insane speeds without a care in the world. And if Doc Brown comes running up to me saying I need to go back with him to 1990, I'd go in a heart beat! But alas, that ain't ever gonna happen.

I guess what I'm saying is, as I get older, I realize more that what has passed has passed and all we have is tomorrow. And so, with that I say, bring on 2008. As always, I leave you with these sets of lovely, heaving, round, wondrous, boobs to usher in the New Year. Cheers.

Job Opening

2007-12-26T15:41:00.000+08:00

I didn't realize you could apply for such a position but there it is... Ass Manager. So if you think you have a grip on your own ass, then you can apply. Also if you have an Agriculture background and are familiar with breeding Dongkeys, this might be the ideal position for you.

Heh. I think it should read, 'Vacant position.... mine, because I'll be fired soon for approving this banner'.

The most sadistic digusting video on the net

2007-12-17T16:56:00.000+08:00

As part of my new light and breezy blogging, I want to share with you my experience of watching the most rabid, rancid, lude, crude, nasty and disturbing 1 minute clip ever. My friend Sham came over one night to my house, told me about it and said he'd like to video tape my reaction as I watch this clip. He says my reaction will be the best part! That really sparked my curiousity. Me being one who doesn't shy away from a proposal so enticing as this, of course said 'yes'. Boy was that the worse idea ever. Thanks Sham...

Anyhow, to cover my ass, I give this disclaimer, DO NOT WATCH THIS AND CALL ME A SICK PERVERT. You are the one that is moving the mouse. I just put this link. You don't have to click it. You click it because you are just as curious as I was. So DONT BLAME ME for any emotional distress it may cause. Blaming me or being angry at me would be like taking your kids to an R-Rated movie and then being shocked at the nudity, violence and swearing. Then writing to Steven Spielberg about how disappointed you are that he made R-rated E.T movie where E.T rapes a dog. So please. Spare me.

The site link is http://www.2girls1cup.com/

Click this link if you want to completely destroy whatever innocense you had left in your soul. For those not brave or curious enough, just take my word for it, its bad. Very very bad. So bad in fact, that people have been video recording their reactions on YouTube. This has become quite the internet fad for the moment. Of course, I've uploaded some reactions I've recorded including mine. But I won't share that link here unless you ask me yourself and you've seen the clip. If you have a slow connection, I recommend that you press the pause button and allow the clip to load 100% first for the full effect. See if you can make it the full minute.

You have been warned. But then again life is short, go on... click it... you know you want to.

I got bashed.

2007-12-13T18:50:00.001+08:00

"That is the most disgracefully bigoted blog ...
If you are so intent on being such a racist little man i suggest you remove about 75% of your "friends" who are chinese, jewish or simply not a supporter of your hateful view of people in the world. You can't have it both ways, laugh and pretend you're such a nice funny guy to everyone and its alll just a joke and then try to promote these kind of opinions. It actually remind me so much of the whole one nation "go back to you's own country" crap that you despised so much in Australia. Such small, bitter thinking from someone who I know to be intelligent...I think that makes it so much worse. Malaysia is crumbling because of the racial arrogance of people like you on all sides."

This was the message written to me from a dear friend, (maybe former friend now), clearly written in anger with regards to my previous post 'Blind Racism'. It is the reason I have decided to deleted it.

I sincerely apologize to her and her family. Not to mention all my other readers that found offense. I wrote the entry in anger at the time. And as I read it in retrospect, I was very harsh and unwarranted. While I was trying to be funny about it, I will admit that there was an element of hate. Hate towards two individuals. I have not considered my readers that may not share my views. Arrogant and ignorant, I can be. A character flaw for sure. Once again I say sorry.

Sometimes I think no one reads my blog, so I say "fuck it, I'll just write something just to get a 'rise' out of people". I don't like being perceived as a racist and a bigot. I certainly don't set out to be one. I guess what I've learned is racism is racism no matter how its worded.

For those who know me, you know I'm always just trying to be funny and no i'll intent has ever been my goal. The problem with the written word is that you can't hear the tone of voice, or see facial expressions from the opinion giver. Today, I think I've lost a dear friend and I dont blame her. I do however thank her for kicking me in the butt as I appreciate her feedback and values her opinions.

This experience has thought me a lesson. A lesson that will stay in me forever. I will leave all political and sensitive issues to those other bloggers. I'll keep mine light and breezy from now on.

Blind Racism - BLOG ENTRY DELETED

2007-11-26T14:33:00.000+08:00

13th December 2007,

THIS ENTRY HAS BEEN DELETED BY ME.......................

I sincerely apologize to all that may have been offended with what I've said in this entry.

Aren't exams suppose to test people?

2007-11-15T10:36:00.000+08:00

This yet another email I received about how Malaysia is shooting itself in the foot. Our people are becoming more and more incompetent as the years go by. To some degree, things like this are not helping.
Just to note that the Sijil Tinggi Persekolahan Malaysia or STPM is Malaysia's equivelent to America's SAT and U.K's A Levels examinations.

Is the objective of STPM is to pass people? For the government of Malaysia, it sure seems that way.

How do you explain the fact that 87% of the students passed the examinations of the Sijil Tinggi Persekolahan Malaysia (STPM) recently? When during my grandfather's time only 10% would have passed? Are students getting smarter? Or are STPM questions getting easier?
Let me put things in their proper perspective.

During my grandfather's time, they would ask exam questions like:

In what year did Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka?

The correct answer was "1402", and they found that only 10% of the students managed to answer the question correctly. This didn't go down too well with the government, because this made us look stupid. So the objective of the exams was to have more people pass.

I mean, what's the point of having exams if people fail? right?

So later, they found another way to ask the same question:

Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka in the year:

(a) 2001
(b) 2004

(d) 1975

(e) 1402

Tick the correct answer.

The results were better in that 20% of the students passed. But it was still not good enough, so the government tried another different way a few years later.

Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka in the year 1402. True or false?

Well, half of the students guessed "True" and the other half guessed "False". Fully 50% passed. The results were getting pretty acceptable by now.

Most other countries would be satisfied with a 50% passing rate, but not us. We are a better country, because we are a "boleh" (can do) country. The government then cracked their heads and then came out with this one:

Read the following sentence carefully.

"Parameswara, the cousin of Proton-Iswara, founded the kingdom of Melaka in the year 1402."

Underline the name of the person who founded Melaka.

60% underlined "Parameswara", 30% underlined "Proton-Iswara" and 10% underlined "1402". Hooiyoh......60% managed to pass! So krever!

But for some reason, the authorities were still not contented. So last year, they came out with this gem:

One day in the year 1402, Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka. Then he went home to have dinner. What did he eat?

13% handed in blank answers, 57% wrote "Maggi Mee", and 10% wrote "Kentucky Fried Chicken", and 20% wrote "Tree bark".

The official answer was "Food" of course!

After the grading was over, it was found that 87% of the students had passed.

87%............now that's pretty impressive! Yeah! 'Malaysia Boleh' indeed.

You can just imagine how the government would now boast. "So it's true. The students are indeed getting smarter."

HEH... this may be an internet joke-type email, but it I think there is some truth to it to some degree. Either way, it doesn't look good for Malaysia. If we think nothing is wrong, then nothing new is learnt. We Malaysian's go around thinking 'we are the best' or made to believe that we are, but in actuality, we suck. Having travelled to other Asian countries, currently under developed, I can see that they will all soon rise above Malaysia in every way. This is simply because their peoples have endured more failure. As a result their attitudes and resolve are far superior compare to us Malaysians. It is only through failure can we grow. Success should measured by how well be handle and recover from failure.

Thanks to Andrea Soh for forwarding this to me.

Learn Chinese for your own good

2007-11-04T09:41:00.000+08:00

With the ever increasing population of China, and with the effects of globalization, it will be inevitable that we must all learn how to speak Chinese. To help you get a head start here are some key phrases.

Say these words out loud.

1) That's not right.................................Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive?........Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP...................................Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man......................................Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse.....................................Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach?...............Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table.........Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift............Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here....................Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet.....Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone..............No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week..........Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight.....................Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile......Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive.......Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great.............................................Fa Kin Su Pah

We must not be left out.... Kiasu is the way of the Future. If WE DON'T the Chinese WILL, and then some!

Is life unfair?

2007-10-24T17:26:00.000+08:00

I know that I'm asking for it when I ask such a rhetorical question. But seriously, why does life seem so damn unfair sometimes? Just look at this picture. This guy is on his power boat yacht surrounded by ridiculously hot, randy, happy, horny, big breasted 'Page-3' models. Oh just cruising' around the Mediterranean, having fun, not a care in the world.

Why oh why?? Damn it. What makes this guy so damn special? Why can't he, be me? What did he have to do to get to where he is? How la? How? Seeing things like this just makes me want to cry sometimes.

OK la... even IF, this guy is not some filthy russian oil billionaire, and this isn't his yacht, even IF, he is just the stupid 'clean-up boy' for the publication that rented this yacht for a photo shot, STILL, what a lucky bastard he is. Bastard. Such a silly silly lucky bastard.

Lastly, to close this entry, the fella looks like he is BORED! So unfair.

I wanna be bored like him...

FACELEBRITY - Facebook Celebrity

2007-10-19T17:14:00.000+08:00

Why We Give Away Our Privacy on Facebook

With recent additions to Facebook such as the "Mini-Feed," our Facebook friends will always know what we're up to, whether it's attending the block party on Saturday night or tagging photographs of ourselves. These days I hear so many Facebook users complain about the lack of privacy, but then why use Facebook if it encroaches on your privacy so much? The easiest solution to these complaints is to stop using Facebook. The problem is that while many might entertain the idea, few can bear it's consequences. But why do we stay connected if we claim to hate it's invasion of our privacy?

The reason is because we actually love it. We may not realize it, but subconsciously we love it when other people invade our privacy. It is not as if we have paparazzi problems whenever we leave our houses, so we enjoy it when other people pay close attention to our lives and activities. This is a phenomenon that can be termed "facelebrity" (pronounced "fay-celebrity" or "face-elebrity").

In fact everyone who joins Facebook automatically becomes a facelebrity. Any one of your Facebook friends sees what changes you make to your profile and events in their News-Feed. Thus, like it or not, they are stalking you, gleaning more information about you than you are willing to tell them directly. I believe that we all get a sense of importance from this fact. When we make changes to our Facebook accounts, we know that people see these changes. Why exactly do we make these changes?

Let's look at one example. In your profile under "Favorites" exists a category for movies. You watch Braveheart and really enjoy it for its cinematic value. You subsequently list Braveheart under you favorite movies. Listing Braveheart on Facebook does not change the fact that you liked the movie, nor does is validate that fact. On some level you changed your movie preferences so that other people on Facebook would see; this mean that you are trying to convey something or create an image for yourself on Facebook. One might argue that you list such details about yourself to find others who share the same interests; how often do you really click on a movie to see who else shares it as a favorite?

What does this say about us? Just as when we enter a new environment or meet new people, many of us attempt to reshape our image slightly, tailoring it to make changes that we desire in ourselves. This is human nature; we constantly change and adapt to our surroundings. Facebook offers an artificial but easy method of change, in which our person can change with a few clicks, whereas in the real world, it may take real time and effort.

On Facebook we are all facelebrities, creating our personal images through our profile decisions and virtual actions. Facebook provides a certain aspect of celebrity to the common man, which is one reason that so many subscribe; it allows us to taste facelebrity.

PROUDLY I ADMIT...... I am a Facelebrity.

Philosophy of the Stock Market

2007-10-08T14:32:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared who announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for RM10.00 .
The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys in the forest, went out and started catching them. The man bought thousands at RM10.00.
As supply started to diminish and villagers started to stop their efforts, he announced that now he would buy them at RM20.00.
This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon, the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.
The offer rate was increased to RM25.00 and the supply of monkeys became so scarce that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it.
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at RM50.00. However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of the man. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers, "Look at all the monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at RM35.00 and when the man comes back, you can sell them to him for RM50.00 each."
The villagers queued up with all their savings to buy the monkeys.
After that, neither the assistant nor the businessman could be found anywhere but the monkeys were everywhere!

Coffee Anyone? Malaysia style.

2007-10-04T15:26:00.000+08:00

Enough said...........

She is hot. But Why?

2007-09-28T14:28:00.000+08:00

Do you find these kind woman so immensely attractive? Sadly, I do.. and admit it.. so do YOU!

Who is she? It turns out she might be internet model Jessica Kramer (NSFW link to her site here). Her hobbies include shopping, water skiing, and giving me a near painful erection. She also enjoys going to clubs, dancing, and having boobs so awesome they mock our laws of physics.

BiskutNaga's Top Ten Women That Need a Tight Slap

2007-09-10T10:43:00.000+08:00

For weeks now, I've been reviewing my archives and have found that my recent articles are shit. I want to bring back some of the edge that seems to have been lost over the past months. Of late, my posts have been some what, well, for lack of a better word, 'gay'. I've seem to have lost the anger, the violence and the crassness in my writing. This blog has always been about the excellence of pushing the boundaries of social etiquette. I use to get excited when I write and feel the juices flow as my fingers pound away at the keyboard. All that has been lacking. So it ends now. I give you BiskutNaga's Top Ten Women That Need a Tight Slap!

These are the women that simply need a slap in the face. Preferably by a big angry Himalayan Indian with Yeti-Bigfoot blood in him. Just one big swing from his hairy-ice-crusted-skin-peeled arm, and SMACK! right across the face of these utterly irritating public women. Oh such ecstasy.

10. Calista flockhart

When I saw the first episode of Ally McBeal, I thought to myself, "hey, this is a great show, and this Ally is alright". But boy did I regret thinking that! I remember feeling my ass, being clenched the whole time. And by the end of each show, I was so anal retentive that I could not take a crap the next morning. It was a good show don't get me wrong, in fact I only watched it because the other characters were so great. But Ally, my god, I wanted to slap her. As the seasons rolled on, she got thinner and thinner, and more and more neurotic . Remember the dancing baby? Some say she was anorexic as she looked like a walking skeleton display. I had hoped she was. Then to top it all off, she let Harrison Ford, one of the all time heroes, bend her over and jump her bones. Han Solo anyone? Very sad indeed.

9. Ellen Pompeo

Ah, Ellen. Grey's Anatomy's main character. Why are there so many T.V programs that revolve around idiotic, damaged, emotionally imbalanced, chronically neurotic women? Seeing her on Grey's is like watching a midget complain that he's short! Yes you may say I'm getting all worked up about the characters she portrays. But no, I saw her on Punk'd and the hidden camera showed that she and her alter ego are one and the same, screwed up and utterly irritating. Finally, if you think she is still not slap worthy, just have a listen to how she talks. She has the most annoying lisp on T.V. "Oh Doctosss Shhheeeperd. I calls youuuss McDreamyssss". Ssssimply sssickening.

8. Britney Spears

Britney, Britney, Britney. You have lost the plot completely. When 'Opps! I did it again' was released, I was the first to download it. I loved the pure engineered Pop sound that you brought to the music world. But of late, you have truly gone mad. It started with your I'm-a-bad-girl make over and then you married that Featherline fella, then had kids, lost your mind, got drunk, got sued, got divorced and many many other idiotic Hollywood shit. And now you seem to be desperately trying to re-launch your career. If only you just calm the hell down and realise you had it all to begin with. Please take a long hard look in the mirror. And please wear undies. Its cute if you are 18 and all fresh. After the miles it has seen, shaved or not, its enough to scare the crap out of Vampires on Haloween night!

7. Avril Lavigne

In an interview with a British magazine, Avril Lavigne did what many top experts previously considered impossible, namely making herself look like an even bigger bitch than normal. These are some of her comments made in the interview.
On her polarizing personality: "People love me and people hate me, but I'm comfortable in my own skin and that's what counts. And anyway if you do hate me, you're the loser, not me."
On her generosity:"I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, 'Take it to Katrina!' I also like to give stuff to people who are my 'workers,' especially if they don't make much money.". Enough said.

6. Condoleezza Rice

They say behind every great man, there's a great woman. This is so true. Just look at that monkey they call Bush. With Condol advising him or more like saying 'yes' to him, I don't know who is the bigger monkey. She is the most useless, arrogant, ignorant, cunt to have ever taken a position of power. Seriously. She is mostly there to get the Black votes. And also, maybe, someone told Bush that 'once you go black you don't go back'. I think he misunderstood. That saying only applies to women in reference to black men who genetically have big, long, horse inspired, sexual organs and because of the immense stretching that they cause the inner walls of the vagina, hence going back to a 'normal' size is not an option. You get double bonus points for slapping Bush by the way.

5. Paris Hilton

The heir to the Hilton Hotel empire. God help us all. Her reality T.V Show, 'The Simple Life' shows how truly spoiled she is. You just can't help but want to punch her in the face. What does she do to help make her more likable? Let her then boyfriend, video tape them having sex. Wonderful. Then after the video was released, she wanted a cut from the sales. Stupid or smart, I donno. Recently she was thrown in Jail for drink driving or partying nude or god knows what. Anyway she was in there for all of 2 minutes, and says the experience changed her. Changed my ass. She is still as cock ass irritating as ever. They should have accidentally locked her up in solitary confinement with our Himalayan Indian and lose the damn key.

4. Ashlee Simpson

There are some that may argue that Jessica is more of an ass than Ashlee. Perhaps. But for me after seeing her in Saturday Night Live I really lost what little opinion I had of her to begin with. On the show she was scheduled to perform two songs. Her first song, "Pieces of Me", was performed without problems. However, when she began her second song, "Autobiography", the vocals for the song "Pieces of Me" were heard again—before she had raised the microphone to her mouth. Simpson began to dance and then left the stage, while the band (not a recording) continued playing. During the closing of the show Simpson appeared with the guest host Jude Law stating that her band performed the wrong song in the opening on the performance and commenting that she thought she'd "do a hoedown" following the musical number. This is just like when Milli Vanilli's guide track skipped during a live MTV performance, revealing that they were lip-sync hing.

3. Sarah Jessica Parker

Can someone tell Sarah that 'Sex in the City' has ended? Get over it girl. You will never be that famous again. That was your 'Hay Day'. You had your 15 minutes. Its over. Please take your residuals from the re-runs and DVD sales and go sleep quietly in one corner. Do you even wonder why Matthew wants to leave your punk ass? You have neglected him enough. No wonder he wants a divorce. Stop trying to relive the old days with all this talk about a Reunion movie. The four of you are so old and dried up that having sex with any of you, in any city, will be like rubbing the tip of your manhood against dead corals in an aquarium.

2. Janice Dickinson

Just 1 minute into the opening title sequence of her T.V show 'Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency' and you want to stab out your eyes with a blunt pencil. Then you wish you had been born in another decade because her presence now makes this world utterly unbearable to live. Its no wonder Tyra Banks kicked her off 'America's Next Top Model', even Tyra had enough of her high and mighty routine. Another raving model struggling with losing her looks and desperately clinging on to whatever bits of fame she can squeeze out before the silicons in her implants sag to the ground due to the lost of elasticity of her skin.

1. Oprah Winfrey

Last but not least, yes, Oprah. The great and powerful Oprah. This woman has passed beyond the point of self gratification into a whole a other category. She is so pleased with herself that when she farts, she would willingly smell it as if it were golden fumes from heaven. Nobody notices her shows - when she has her 'serious' portion where she pretends to give a crap then quickly switches to some
insane celebrity worship segment or the totally unnecessary 'legal' form of bribery prize giveaway. Can nobody see she is just BUYING followers to join her club? And you've seen her on those 'on the road' shows.....SHE IS NOT A PLEASANT PERSON!! I bet dollar bills that if she were to run for president, she would win. Then all hell would break lose. Oprah = Evil.

Thanks to Adam for the Oprah segment. I knew you hated her so. That's why I give you the pleasure of slapping the No.1 pick. Well deserved.

Direct Selling - The Hardore way of selling

2007-09-05T14:10:00.000+08:00

A couple of months back, a friend of mine was kind enough to give me an opportunity to see what he does for a living, Direct Selling. This is where the producer sells to the user, ultimate consumer or retailer without intervening middlemen such as wholesalers, retailers, or brokers. Direct selling offers many advantages to the customer, including lower prices and shopping from home.

But my friends company calls it 'Below the line' marketing. Yea!

Below the line means non-media advertising or promotion when no commission has been paid to the advertising agency. Includes direct mail, point of sale displays, giveaways and direct sales.

Ok enough Marketing 101 background crap. To summarize, this shit is hard. I knew that a door-to-door salesman had it bad, but I had no idea it was this bad. As my friend would spew out, 'the rewards are there'. If you are willing to put aside, for the moment, your ego and pride, you can be successful in this no doubt. You need to turn yourself into a robot, a drone, a worker or a thick-skinned dumbass of sorts.

The system is based on recruitment. The promise that one day you will have your own company. Management trainee they called it. The key here is that you need to be able to do the sales yourself before you can manage and lead people to do it for you. But before you can lead your own team, you have to be the donkey first. Recruit by example, "I succeeded like this and it works so please copy me" is one of the steps. The more people you train, the faster you get promoted into management. Sounds like a 'multilevel' thing to me but that's a forbidden word.

Without getting into specifics, there is a incentive payout throughout the ladder. How much you put in equals how much you get. Its pretty much like life I suppose. Anyhow, I was given training on all the steps needed to complete a sale. There things like, introduction, short story, pitch, turnaround etc. All laid out for you to deal with the negatives that you will face. Negatives indeed. For every 50 people you approach, 1 will say 'yes', and the others will tell you 'NO'. So its a numbers game, you need to approach many, many many people to make your target for the day. Put it this way, in my short stint, I counted, I approached over 2,000 people, managed to get say my whole sales pitch maybe 50 times, and I closed (completed a sale) 1 person. Tiring and tough? Yes.

What did I learn from this experience? I learnt that I can walk up to anyone and say 'hello'. I'm less afraid of the word 'No'. I appreciate life a little bit more. I thank god that I have other alternatives than to do this job. I learn that to be rich, you need to be the one at the top of the pyramid. I learned that to be a successful leader, you must lead by example. I learned that you can only inspire others through your own experiences. I learned the virtue of patience.

Did I succeed? Yes and No. Is this for me? No. Will I consider this again? Perhaps.

Why does my friend do it and Why do people do it? It is with the promise that if you succeed, reaching the top, you can afford your own Ferrari racing team or a hillside villa in Monacco. heh. Interested? Go right ahead.

Wentworth Miller is gay.. confirmed

2007-08-28T15:04:00.000+08:00

To all the ladies out there that have been swooning over this heartthrob for the past 2 years.... I say you can all go and 'suck it!' Scofield is gay. Wait, let me be clear, Went Worthmiller the actor is Gay. Yes, Gay. Batty Boy. Bum Captain. Priscilla Queen of Arse. Pick a name. So for those of you that have that silly hope of accidentally bumping into him in a supermarket and having him help you pick up that fallen apple, lock eyes, fall in love and live happily ever after, FORGET IT.. that shit has about negative zero chance of ever happening. Not that you had any chance before this.

Wentworth Miller hangs out actor pal Luke McFarlane in Los Angeles on Saturday. According to spywitnesses, the pair first avoided being photographed together, but eventually walked down the street together with a smile.Wentworth, 35, and Luke, 27, started their day off together by visiting printing store Kinko’s, where the Prison Break star surfed the web. Afterwards the pair grabbed some drinks from Starbucks and headed to a small art gallery in Culver City. Finally, Went and Luke went to the In-N-Out Burger drive-thru and called it a day. McFarlane is the ex-boyfriend of Grey’s Anatomy star TR Knight (O'Malley).

At the end of the day, I knew that no one so damn good looking could possibly be straight. Don't get me wrong, his character on Prison Break is a champion. I sure would like to see him go all the way with Dr. Sara Tancredi, but in light of this new knowledge, I don't know if I can believe his portrayal of love towards her.

Judging from the pictures Miller seems to the 'receiver' i.e girl, in the relationship as was TR. And so, I just can't help but wonder if at the back of his mind, he'd rather have Lincoln Burrows's hard manhood, thrusting him up against that dark prison cell wall. Shish!

Tiger Woods by David Feherty

2007-08-22T09:53:00.000+08:00

Having laid off golf for 1 year, I post this little story about Tiger Woods in light of my own golf revival.

Subject: TIGER WOODS

You probably don't have to be a golfer to enjoy the story below.

For the non golfers amongst you, a decent player can hit a wedge about 110yards from a good lie.

David Feherty (sports commentator) on Tiger:-

I maintain that he is a special person. There's no one else on the planet who can do what he does or even think of doing what he does. I've often thought, instead of showing Tiger's reaction to a shot he's hit, we really should show the reaction of those around him. But here is the next best thing. "I'm walking down the 18th fairway at Firestone Country Club with Ernie Els and Tiger, who has popped up a three-wood about 40 yards behind Ernie into some wet, nasty, horrible, six-inch rough," Feherty says.

Tiger's cursing and taking clumps out of Ohio with his three-wood. And, of course, we're not showing this on TV because we want to be able to interview him later. Ernie and I walk past Tiger's ball, and it is truly buried. Ernie is tied with Tiger and he's in the middle of the fairway. I'm standing with Ernie and my microphone is open. Ken Venturi [in the CBS booth] sends it to me and I say, "'Tiger's got 184 yards with two big red oaks overhanging the green. He's got absolutely nothing. With a stick of dynamite and a sand wedge I might be able to move this ball 50 yards. Steve Williams [Woods' caddie] tells me [with a hand signal] that he's using a pitching wedge".

Tiger takes his swing. Every muscle in his body is flung at the ball. It looks like he's torn his nutsack. The divot went as far as I could hit the ball. I've got my microphone at my mouth thinking, what the hell was that! The ball sails over the trees, lands behind the hole and backs up to about six feet from the flag. I open my microphone and Ernie turns to me and says, 'F***me!'

My producer comes on in my earpiece and says, 'Was that Ernie?' I say yes. He says, 'Fair enough.' "I could have described that shot for 15 minutes and not done as good a job as Ernie did with two words. This is one of the best players in the world talking, and you wanna know how good Tiger is? Ask Ernie Els."

forwarded to me by Ramlan Haron.

Asean Golf Tour is coming soon!

Top 10 Things I Miss about Adelaide

2007-08-11T13:30:00.000+08:00

Actually this list is suppose to be a joint venture entry between The Shoddy Blog and Jinggez. I was to write 5, and Simon writes 5.. But as usual, this post has been lost in our backlog of drafts for weeks, and so I've decided to go ahead. What the hell right? Its my blog, I say and do what the hell I like. I couldn't care less if nobody reads this shit.. let alone understand what I'm on about. But for my regular readers.. eh.. of course, you guys are the best. Thank you for coming back. Anyway...

Having lived in Adelaide South Australia for 5 years from 1993-1998, I find myself occasionally reminiscing about those yesteryear's. Sparked by the recent visit by Campbell, I give you now my Top 10 Things I Miss about Adelaide. "From the home office in Wahoo Nebraska..... here we go number 10!" The late show, David Letterman.

Number 10. The North Adelaide Burger Bar

In Adelaide, about the only thing open at 2am, is the Burger Bar. Perfect for the night creatures that we were. This place was cool, there were arcade games like Daytona and House of the Dead. They served the usual burgers, kebabs and fish n chips but the highlight for me was the A.B. Short for 'Abortion'. So named because the chips, lamb bits, garlic sauce, tomato sauce and other stuff was piled into a mountain of mess that looks like the after picture of the operation. Anyway, you would shovel it with a fork and love it. Oddly enough, I've never ate a Burger from there..

Number 9. Watching The Crows at Football Park

I miss going to Football Park stadium and watching The Crows. Football being Australian Rules Footy and The Crows being Adelaide's championship winning side, by the way. Those cold benches together with a nice Cornish pastie makes for a great outing. Win or lose it would always be a great night. Thank God my friend had those season tickets.

Number 8. Alpha Video Store

The 'mega' of mega video rental outlets. I think it was an old warehouse of sorts. It had the oldest and rarest collection of lost 80s comedies for rent like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and Best of Molly Ringwald. Alpha Video had many special deals of choice, one in particular was the '7 videos for $7'. How can you go wrong? One week I'd get seven James Bond movies and watch them back to back. Another week I'd go with seven 80s/90s-Teenage-High school-Romantic-Comedies. I wonder if they are still in operation today.

Number 7. Late Night Mindless Drives and Flavoured Milk

I miss getting into a Beef's car at Midnight and driving in any direction. I mean we got to a point where slept through the day and stayed up all night. I would literally get in and he would ask "where to?", I say "North". And we would drive north for hours just for the excitement of getting lost. Which is impossible in Adelaide but we tried anyway. Before our journey we stock up on Farmer's Union Iced Coffee which is creamy and filled with caffeine. Sometimes we'd get adventurous and get the Banana flavour. Sweet!

Number 6. Cheap Great Golf

Golf was damn ass cheap. The weather was always lovely, mild 20Celsius days and sunny. Perfect for pulling a golf cart. Yeah I said pull. Those days I would walk the 18 holes. That help make it cheap. I just had to show my student card and student rate green fees, always. Top courses like MacKraken, Patawaloonga, Mount Osmond and Koyoonga were all viable options. At $20 bucks a pop, my only regret is not playing more.

Number 5. The Crazy Horse

The Crazy Horse it the only strip club in South Australia worth patronising and according to friends who have ventured to other states, they claim that 'The horse' is arguably the best in Australia. Happy naked women lap dancing and swinging on poles, what more do you need? One time, I went in at 8pm for free, and stayed till they closed at 4am. I saw every girl come on twice. By the end of the night, I had seen so many boobs that I started seeing people without their clothes on as I walked home.

Number 4. Super Chilled Out Sessions

Never since 1998 has there been better chilled out sessions. The level at which you can chill in Adelaide was unprecedented. Granted, there wasn't many things to do back then, however, when we did do things, we sure as hell made the most of it. BBQ and parties were always at the spur of the moment with little to no planning at all. I guess that was the appeal. Chilled. Easy. Oh and the sleep. My god the sleep was both restful and serene. At night, its really quiet in Adelaide so your sleep was sound. The cool night air will always be something I long for.

Number 3. Making Movies

I miss taking the Panasonic MS-1 and heading out to the hills to film some zombie death scenes. I miss looking for different ways to make corn flour look like blood and then having to figure out how best to make it spray. We use to have no script and no storyboard, just a general storyline and make the rest up as we go. I remember doing the all the pre-production crap in post, because the lecturer said it counted towards the final grade. What a bitch. Though editing was a nightmare at times and deadlines were never far enough, I loved every moment.

Number 2. Stalking Women

Now don't get me wrong, I'm no stalker. And I did this only once. But I loved it. This girl once drove me to the point of obsession. She drove me up the wall with her sexy body and constant teasing. One night my wing man and I parked outside her apartment. I knew she had lied to me over the phone about something I can't remember. Anyway, I wanted to catch her in the act. Armed with binoculars and donuts, we staked out the house. We could see right into her living room and parts of her bedroom. This girl was dumb enough not to draw the curtains at night. In retrospect it wasn't my best idea and had I caught her, what the hell was I suppose to do with the information? I giggle just thinking back about the silliness I got up to.

Number 1. The Fellas

I miss the fellas. What a bunch of great individuals to have ever come together. With our combined abilities, ideas, and personalities we could accomplish anything. Well that was then anyway. Those days are never to come again. All one can do is start a blog and write about it. I can only hope to catchup with everyone again. But I know it will never be quite the same. Thank god for email and Facebook.com, at least they are not lost forever.....

Fatty Crab 2 or Bloody Hell 3?

2007-07-31T19:00:00.000+08:00

Recently my partner-in-crime and co-star our Shoddy Horror movie series Andrew Campbell paid me a visit. As its now seemingly becoming some sort of tradition, I took him and Alex (his girlfriend la, short for Alexandra) to Fatty Crab. I also took our fellow Shoddy alumni, Simon last year and still talks to me about it. I get the feeling like he's still upset about the fact we didn't order enough. Simon was the one who recommended Andrew to experience 'Elbows-In Dining'. I am always more than happy to accommodate my 'brothers'.

Fatty Crab is renowned for their delicious red crabs. In fact they serve nothing but. Well you can order side dishes like chicken wings and fried rice, but mostly, people just come for the crabs. The crab can be cooked in several styles, sweet and sour, steamed, fried with chili or with black pepper. Its all good.

For this raunchy experience, we ordered the house favourite, chili crabs. These crabs are fried in a gigantic wok over high heat and then bathed in a wondrous sauce made with chillies, peppers and all else divine. Oddly enough, you also are provided with toasted bread to dip in this sauce. Simply magical. We asked for extra sauce. We ate like hungry Tonkin Snub-nosed Monkey's.

The next day, I took Andrew and Alex shopping. As a goof, I thought it be fun for Andrew and I to wear matching shirts again. "Lets wear matching shirts man! That be cool! Lets see what kind of reaction we'd get" I said. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but as we walked out of the Factory Outlet Store, and into the mall, I realized that we can't pull off shit like this anymore at our age. But at least we tried.

"I use to think I was fat in 1998... what the Jinggez hell!" We should go and make part 3 and call it 'Bloody Hell 3 - The Return of the Tall Old and Fat Wabby Zombie Killer Bastards Again"

How do you tell who is who?

2007-07-26T11:42:00.000+08:00

I'm not trying to make fun of my own religion but honestly, this is where I think the Arabs take it a little too far... Why bother taking this picture ?

"Oh look Auntie Laden got new shoes..."
"and my my hasn't Latifah lost weight since the pregnancy.."

Thai Cuisine in Bangkok

2007-07-19T11:21:00.000+08:00

Recently on my trip to the Kingdom of Thailand, I was blessed with the opportunity to sample the local fair as only god intended. Up until last week, my idea of great Thai food comes from eating at the local food stalls down the road, cooked by some Indian bloke from Bangalore. I may be stating the obvious here but, you just can't beat consuming Thai food that has been cooked by 'the locals'. Being able to eat it there in Bangkok was key. Sure, a Thai dude can come here to Malaysia and cook up a storm, but there's something to be said about using the ingredients that has been grown from the ground where the blood and tears its people have spilt. Thai food is known for its enthusiastic use of fresh (rather than dried) herbs and spices as well as fish sauce. Thai cuisine is known for its balance of five fundamental flavors in each dish or the overall meal - spicy, sour, sweet, salty and bitter (optional).

I was really amazed at how consistent the food was where ever I ate. Whether it be at road side push cart food stall or the Hotel coffeehouse, the food was simply wonderous. Anyway, my favourite Thai dish would have to be the Tom Yam soup. Tom Yam is basically a hot & sour soup with meat. If it has shrimp in it, its called Tom Yam Goong. If there is all other kinds of seafood in it, then is called Tom Yam Talae. Naturally, being Malaysian, I prefer the Tom Yam Gai which has chicken and is more like a curry as it has coconut milk.

I firmly believe that the spicier the soup the better. When I was a student in Adelaide, my friend Simon and I would head down to the corner food court and order their so called Tom Yam. It tasted like just pure chili and water and we thought "wow! this is the shit!". How sadly ignorant we were. Nine out of Ten times after consuming copious amounts of 'imitation' Thai food, my anus pays a hefty fine the next morning. Generally feeling like 50 midgets are having a bond fire and my sphincter is the melting marshmellow-on-a-stick.

This is the 'after' photo of my Tom Yam soup. There's no 'before' photo as I was blinded by greed and hunger that I forgot to take one. As you can see from the reminisce that it was made with love and no ingredient was spared. So good that it inspired me to post this post.

Now here's the thing, if Tom Yam is made right, the balance of all the five fundamental flavors come together in glorious harmony. To much of one, and it all goes to shit. Literally. Every time I sat down and ordered, I would say to the cook, "make it as spicy as locals like it". Expecting it to burn like in the past, I was pleasantly surprised this was not the case. A good indication that its great Tom Yam, your nose starts to run and you can feel your sinus clearing. It should not feel like hot acid being poured down your throat. I normally tear up in pain and frantically guzzle down gulps of water with every spoonful. Not this time. Oh no. This time, my tears were of joy and my grin was that of a giddy school girl.

One last thing, I noticed that at all the various eating establishments throughout my time in Bangkok, one practice was evident. The cooks would almost always create each individual dish one at a time. This seemed inefficient at the time as there was always a long queue. I also noticed that Thai people seem to be not hurried when it came to food. They are willing to wait. They obviously take their food very seriously. As we all should, I suppose. I realize now, that by cooking each meal (or portion) individually, the exact amount of ingredients can be maintained every time, thus ensuring 'the balance of flavour'. The Thais have definitely got it right. Decades of trial and error. Years of mothers passing down those little culinary secrets to future generations. Ultimately forever insuring that the sheer elegance of Thai cuisine lives on forever...

Happy Birthday to me..

2007-07-16T12:44:00.000+08:00

Its the day after my Birthday and I feel absolutely the same as I did a year ago. A little older, a little wiser, and a few kilos heavier. Just got back from Bangkok and in retrospect, probably the best present I could have given myself. Nothing like a few days in a foreign country to put some extra perspective on ones life. Glad to be home and love Malaysia that little bit more.

Thoughts on my life? Sure things can always be better... but bottom line, honestly, I'm happy and thankful to God that I've gotten this far relatively unscathed. With all of life's ups and downs, overall, the graph has shown an upward trend. I hope this trend continues till the day I die.

Friends have come and gone. Those who I call friends now, I feel will be with me a long time, My family? Stronger and full of love through all the tough times. The saying "united we stand, together we fall" rings so true.

This blog, reluctantly, what started out as an experiment, has become very much a part of my life. . I would like to thank those who have visited here with a message, "Don't be a Jinggez ass and come back again!" . And a very special shout out to my regular readers who take the time to write comments here. All of you make this Blog look "happening" and in turn, I don't look like just another 'loser with a blog', so for that I thank you.

Cheers to all.

Here is a cake for myself, excuse me while I light 32 candles, sing 'the' song, blow out the candles and feel stupid that I continue this idiotic tradition. Aint it all a Jinggez?!

Ahh, what the hell, I think I'm gonna get a cake and make some burgers tonight...

Miscellaneous Information on Star Trek: The Next Generation

2007-07-10T22:52:00.000+08:00

Just in case you need to know more about the show, here are some useful information for you. You never know when it might come up at a dinner party or even at your next convention. Although, if you were at a convention, bringing up these points would only embarrass yourself as all this is common knowledge!

Riker has been offered the command of his own ship on the following occasions:
In The Arsenal of Freedom, he is offered command of the USS Drake.
In The Icarus Factor he's offered the USS Aries.
In the Best of Both Worlds he is offered the USS Melbourne, later found destroyed at Wolf 359.

The saucer section of the Enterprise separates from the drive section in:
Encounter At Farpoint.
The Arsenal of Freedom.
Best of Both Worlds - Part II.

Captain Picard surrenders:
To `Q' in Encounter at Farpoint.
He tries to surrender to the Ferengi but they surrender first in The Last Outpost.
In The Outragous Okona, Picard orders the shields dropped `In case we decide to surrender to them.'
In A Matter of Honor, Picard surrenders to Riker who is in command of the Klingon vessel Pagh.
In Peak Performance, Riker asks Picard `Would you care to surrender now?' even before the war games start.
In The Defector, the Romulans ask Picard to surrender but he refuses.

Geordi LaForge is named after a real Star Trek fan named George LaForge who died from muscular dystrophy in 1975.

Industrial Light and Magic (ILM) did the special effect shots only for Encounter At Farpoint but they still get credit in every episode because of the extra stock footage for Enterprise fly-bys and such.

If you look closely at the Enterprise during the fly-by in the opening credits, you can see someone walking past the windows.

William Riker and Deanna Troi are based upon Commander Decker and Lieutenant Ilia from Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

Star Trek: The Next Generation has earned over US$500,000,000 for Paramount in syndication and merchandising revenue.

The Child and Devil's Due were originally scripts for the proposed Star Trek II television series. When this idea was scrapped, the sets were used for the shooting of Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

There are numerous in-jokes in The Next Generation:
In The Neutral Zone, the family tree called up by Deanna Troi for Clare Raymond includes the names of all the actors who have played the part of the Doctor in Dr Who.
In Loud As A Whisper, the conference table is marked with the names of Kei and Yuri from the Japanese animation series, The Dirty Pair.
In The Icarus Factor the mat has the Chinese character of `sei' or star on it.
In Up The Long Ladder a ship called Buckaroo Banzai is listed.
In Qpid Picard says `There is something you should know ... I'm not from Nottingham.' - this is a reference to the film The Princes' Bride.
In Sub Rosa one of the gravestones says "McFly", a reference to Back to the Future.
Professor Stephen Hawking is the only person ever to have appeared `as himself' in Star Trek: The Next Generation, in a cameo role at the start of Descent. He has already had a shuttle named after him which appeared in The Host.

"Helm!..... set course for sector 001, warp factor 8, ........ENGAGE!"

How to watch a T.V series properly

2007-07-05T09:11:00.000+08:00

Can I just say that one of my all time favourite TV Series has to be 'The West Wing'. The series is set in the West Wing of the White House, the location of the Oval Office and offices of presidential senior staff, during the fictional Democratic administration of Josiah Bartlet played by Martin Sheen. The West Wing offers a rare glimpse into the inner workings of America's most powerful address, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Many criticisms have been written concerning the shows legitimacy, political slant, and film merits. Some critics often praised The West Wing for its writing, others faulted the show for its unrealistic optimism. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a U.S Politics buff nor am I have suddenly gone 'all serious'. I just really like this show.

At first I was reluctant to watch it thinking, "How can a show about the white house be any good?". Even after its first season, The West Wing garnered nine Emmy's, (a record for most won by a series in a single season) I was still not convinced. However around about the time the show was in its 5th Season, I went out to my local DVD pirate store, purchased the Season 1 DVD box set. What the hell right? Let's see what all the fuss was about. And DAMN! it was good. Needless to say I watched all 22 episodes in 2 days! I couldn't stop.

I went back to Pei Pei the DVD Princess and bought all the remaining seasons. She had up to Season 4. That didn't take long to complete either. I think 2 or 3 months it was. I remember rationing the viewing, 2 episodes a night. That took some discipline. Could have easily watched it all. Anyhow, the day came when I had just seen the cliffhanger at the end of Season 4, I rushed out to Princess Pei Pei, to my horror, NO SEASON 5! It wasn't clear to me at the time, but, how could there be Season 5 DVD Box set, if they haven't complete showing it in the U.S? I was blinded by own immense Kiasu-ness. (Kiasu (Traditional Chinese: 驚輸) is a Hokkien word that literally means 'fear of losing' . However its actual usage would imply a meaning more approaching that of "dog in a manger", and yet not quite)

The series ended its seven-year run on May 14, 2006. I am sad and will miss it greatly. However, I now proudly own the entire DVD collection (Not the one pictured right) so I can relive the moments forever. Fast Forward to today and the reason for this post.

My mother, retired, bored, a TV nut and most of all, Kiasu. All of our favourite current shows like Heroes and Prison Break are on their season breaks. The English Premier League won't resume until August. She had nothing to watch. I've been recommending The West Wing to her for sometime now. She reluctantly took my advice and watched the pilot.

Now here is the kicker, she began watching 7 days ago. As of yesterday she told me she was already on Season 7! There are 22 episodes a season. 7 seasons is 154 episodes. Each episode is 45 minutes long (without commercials), so that's 6930 minutes which equates to 115 hours of viewing time! That's simply amazing! I think by the time I finish writing this, she'll be asking me for Season 8. Sadly, she will have to undergo the same withdrawals as me. If only there was a machine that can zap out specific memories, like the entire series, then we could watch it again! I know this time, I'd watch it just like my mom. IN ONE GO.

You know you're from Adelaide when ...

2007-07-04T11:30:00.000+08:00

Thanks Nana for this contribution........ Incidentally, Nana is an Indonesian. She is called Nana because her full name is Sri Retnaning Diyah Hastuti Hadiputranto. Huh? Exactly. Anyway, Nana loves Adelaide so much that she has become a permanent resident, works for the government of South Australia and is about to marry someone from there! Go figure.

You have been to the club formerly known as Heaven at least once (and you were under 18).
You have been to Glenelg and got extremely sunburned
You know what fritz is You call people Mindas
You say plaaaant not pleeeent
You go out to the same place EVERY Saturday night
You have the same friends from high school
You can't go out without seeing someone you know
You really miss the old Sizzler cheese bread
You like ugg boots, not moccies
You have a very strong opinion on Lleyton Hewitt
You have been to one of the following lookouts:
(Stirling, Mt Lofty, Penfolds Rd, Sunnyside Rd, Eagle On The Hill, Montefiore Hill)
You know who Stormy Summers is
You know what Fruchocs are
You believe that anything that has ever breathed or moved in Adelaide air is 'Adelaide's Own'
You're well aware that for one month of the year, it is impossible to travel from one side of the city to the other, and during this period you will magically acquire a passion for V8s, a love of the arts, appreciation for world music, expertise in food and wine and become completely immersed in the culture of horse racing.
You pour Farmer's Union Iced Coffee on your breakfast cereal.
You will never forgive Melbourne for stealing our Grand Prix. ..Never.
You know how 'dance', 'pool', 'castle' and 'graph' are SUPPOSED to be pronounced.
You get offended when people from Western Australia call SA part of the "East Coast".
You insist on calling AAMI Stadium, "Footy Park".
You say a Pie Floater tastes great just to maintain your street cred.
You consider Coopers to be a food group.
You believe that other states' time zones are not good enough for us.
You acknowledge that, while half of our state is uninhabitable, you know that it's still the greatest.
You think the 'Tiser has no journalistic integrity whatsoever.... and yet you still read it every day.
You vote for Mike Rann in every State election, mainly because you can't remember the other guy's name.
You know there's more than one way to have a good time in Hindley Street.
You buy your CDs from shabby "Big Star" outlets
You know that Victor Harbor is the only place to be for Schoolies.
You forgave the Chapels for the 1981 Underarm Incident purely out of South Australian patriotism.
You have a unfettered love of either Crows or Port to the complete exclusion of the
other.
You know the people out on the Torrens are either tourists or rowers. No one else would go near that water.
You think the Festival Centre is a wonder of modern architecture.
You console yourself that, despite all our faults, at least South Australia wasn't built by convicts.
You can leave work at 5:15 and miss "peak hour traffic"
You can have a good old laugh at the fact that Adelaide's second name is "City of Churches"
You're not scared by Aboriginals walking around Adelaide in speedos and gumboots
Your 'sports gurus' are KG and Cornesy
You know what a 'stobie pole' is
You don't know what the meaning of the "Mall's balls" but you make sure you
meet people there You either live on one side or the other of the great divide
(Gepps Cross intersection)
You're aware that everything is not just good, it's "heaps good"
You still claim Anthony LaPaglia as an Adelaidean cos he worked in a shoe shop in Rundle Mall once.
You understand that the Adelaide Cup Holiday HAD to be moved to the Summer months so more people would get drunk and not have to go to work.
And on a final note...don't believe the rumours. I lived in South
Australia and have never been murdered once.

RE POST THIS TO YOUR PROUD SOUTH AUSTRALIAN FRIENDS

DAMN! I MISS ADELAIDE................
................... coming soon,
'BiskutNaga & Shoddy Blogs Top 10 Things We miss about Adelaide'

BiskutNaga's 4 Types of Gays

2007-07-01T14:59:00.000+08:00

I have successfully categorized Gays into 4 main sub groups. This are purely my own observations. I'm am not trying piss off gay people but merely providing valuable insight for straight people so we are better prepared in being more aware of our surroundings. There are those that will say that Lesbians are also called Gay, but for this entry, I'm not talking about Lesbians. From these various types, you can develop your own informed opinions and reactions towards future gay encounters. At the same time you yourself will know where you stand in life.

Type 1 - The Full Version 'might-as-well-be woman' Gay
These are those that have gone all out to change genders. So far as to undergo a sex operation and taking hormone injections to induce once a month menstrual crying (PMS). These are for all intensive purposes are the perfect woman, having being Men at one point, they understand all the little nuances of manhood. They give the best oral sex and can never get pregnant thus making them the best one night stands. Generally these are termed Transvestites or Transgender but lets not call an apple a peach. Gay is gay no matter how you label or look at it. Which now brings me to Type 2.
Type 2 - The Half Cross or Full Drag Gay
These are the ones that dress up and play woman. Some do a Partial Cross, i.e a little lipstick and blusher on cheeks and some go ALL OUT. They are generally well versed at make-up application because an depth study and practice was applied (as only a man would mind you). They are good singers and are great for public gatherings, like a funfair or parade. Some have done so well with their ensembles, that credit must be given. At first glance, they will catch your eye mistaking them for a famous celebrity of which their ensemble has been based upon. Most often that not, encounters are in dimly lit area like a night club, so their imperfections, i.e Adam's apple, can be easily be masked by the shadows. Recently, the Duck Tape company sponsored the Gay parade in New Orleans. For examples of Type-2s, watch 'Priscilla Queen of the Desert' or 'Too Wong Foo Thank you Julie Newmar'.
Type 3 - The Metro Soft Flexible Gay
This type for me personally is the most irritating type. They generally talk with a lisp while excessively moving body parts like wrist, hands and shoulders. Phrase's like "Absolutely Fabulous" and "You go Girl" are commonly used. These are the ones that dress in the latest fashions and know if you are wearing last season's shoes. These are the ones that quick to point out how if you like a certain type of music, say Barbara Streisand, then you MIGHT be Gay and are cordially invited to 'come out of the closet'. If you happen dress well and be generally well groomed, then the term Metrosexual is quickly slapped on you. This of course is a sub-set of Type 3 and 4. A very prominent Type-3 is the runway coach Miss J, from America's Next Top Model. Ironically it takes a man to teach women how to walk properly.

Type 4 - The Alpha Gay
This version is the most dangerous. There is something almost covert about the whole thing. These are Men man Men. They are big, strong, and nothing feminine about them at all. They play sports, they spit, they fart, hell, they do pretty much everything a man does except be attracted to Women. These are the ones that break women's hearts and give women hope of converting back to Straight-ness. Type-3s are attracted to Type-4s as generally they are ones 'giving' while the Type-3 normally 'receives'. Rock Hudson and the Movie Brokeback Mountain are prime examples of Type-4.

Please understand, that if YOU happen to gay and are angered in anyway with this entry, at NO point did I condemn your action or choice in life. I am merely stating observational facts. My comments are to be taken lightly and to be enjoyed as social satire. If you CHOOSE to berate me with angry gay phrases like, "You are homophobic!" then you truly are Gay as you see the need to voice out your lack of rights and social acceptance. You have missed the point. AGAIN. Girl!

I Finally Saw TRANSFORMERS! (no spoilers)

2007-06-28T01:44:00.000+08:00

I managed to get my hands on some premier tickets. I bought a magazine that had a 'answer the simple questions' contest via text message, and I scored! The movie doesn't officially release till tomorrow... eh.. later today I mean. I've literally just got home from the cinema. I drove like a fully charged Autobot, to come home and write this entry.

To put it short and sweet. It was AWESOME! By far, the best summer blockbuster and probably the most action packed movie this year! After all the hype, all the publicity, all the hoop-la, it did not disappoint. Don't get me wrong, this movie will not win an Oscar for best acting, but it will win for best special effects. My god the effects. It was cutting edge. I haven't been this impressed since Jurassic Park. ILM did a fine ass job. Not one stray pixel anywhere. When you see the first transformer transformation at the start of the movie, it will send chills through your spine. Simply sexy.

I've not had this much fun since 300.. Both are equally entertaining. I just leave you with this, whether you are a hardcore transformer purist or an easy going movie goer, take this film for what it is, an awesome popcorn summer blockbuster. That's what it is and Hollywood owes us for the shite that has been in recent years. Don't go in there expecting to cry from a monologue of rape victim or expecting to be moved by intense political issues. You want that? Go rent a German art house movie about Hitler's pet midgets!

The differences between Hongkies, Singaporeans, Indonesians and Malaysians

2007-06-27T10:55:00.000+08:00

Its that time again for an email forwarded to me, too good not to share.

Being Hongkies (Hong Kong people) is good because...
1. We are Hongkies and not Chinese.
2. We can rude and shout and nobody gives a damn.
3. Jackie Chan is our idol.
4. We can live in a 5' x 5' cubicle and call it a luxury apartment. We even need to pay $10,000 a month for this cubicle. Bargain!
5. Our children can speak Cantonese at a young age.
6. We get to blame everything on Feng Shui or Tung Chee Hwa or the mainland communists.
7. Gambling is more interesting than sex. Macau is the place to go for thrills!
8. We produce a lot of Miss Hong Kong to the enjoyment of the rich and famous.

We love being Singaporean because...
1. We are not Malaysians.
2. Everyone (especially the Malaysian) hates us, except ourselves.
3. Famous for Orchard Road and we love Geylang. Geylang is the place to go for thrills!
4. We have our own island.
5. We will never ever have yucky chewing gum stuck under our shoes.
6. We know how to enjoy our vacation in Malaysia - keep a few RM50 notes before you enter the highway: You can throw anything, anytime, anywhere and always wash our cars at the resort.
7. We can speed up to 180 kilometers per hour and not end up with a summon as long as we have RM50 ready for the cops.
8. The men are always concerned, first question to ask a girl "Do you have CPF?" (Central Provident Fund is a comprehensive social security savings plan for citizens old age)
9. Never fear getting lost in our country - S$20 taxi ride will get you into the sea. Hahaha!
10. We'll never have to worry about finding Mr or Ms right because the government will find one for us.
11. 1 Singapore dollar = 2.5 Ringgit (RM) ...
12. It's OK to be Kiasu. It's part of our culture.

KIASU(kee-ah-soo)Hokkien adjective literally meaning, "afraid of losing". A highly pejorative description beloved of Singaporeans. Possibly their defining national characteristic. The nearest English equivalent is "dog in a manger", though even that is pretty mild."You went to get a handicapped sticker just to get a parking space? How kiasu can you get?"

Top reasons for being Indonesian are as follows...
1. We are not Australian.
2. We are the biggest country in South East Asia . Enough said.
3. No pirates in Indonesia waters if you exclude the Navy and Coast guards.
4. Everything is dirt cheap, even our salaries...
5. We can blame everything on Suharto or BJ Habibie or Gus Dur or Megawati or whoever that's next!
6. Only in Indonesia can you get involved in real demonstrations daily, for different causes and see no results.
7. Our Rupiah is like a Yo Yo, it can go up and down just because IMF say so...
8. We burn everything and nobody gives a damn. We cause haze all over the South East Asia and nobody can do a thing...
9. We don't need fire fighters as our neighbours will provide...

Being a Malaysian is the best because...
1. World tallest twin towers, Best F1 circuit, largest roti canai, most expensive toll rates, ...because "Malaysia Boleh!" (Malaysia can)
2. We can be driving, picking our nose, cursing another driver, talking on the cell phone, adjusting the radio and bribe the traffic police at the same time.
3. We can divorce via SMS.
4. Traffic summons can be settled on the spot with the traffic police.
5. We have Teh Tarik & Roti Canai on the Russian space ship.
6. We can save a lot of electricity because our TV shows are so crappy.
7. We can blame everything on the haze or George Soros or government or opposition parties or...
8. Resourceful City Council, one person to drive the van, one to carry the ladder, one to change a street's bulb and three others watching...
9. We make a 2 lane trunk road into 3 lane highway and then back to 2 lanes when the cops are sighted...
10. There's always something for the JKR (road works department) to do. They dig, resurface the road, then dig and resurface again....
11. All main roads are designated highways to allow the government a reason to collect a toll.
12. Our government is NEVER wrong.
13. Our badminton players only win on home grounds because we are back yard champions.
14. We have more water than Singapore ... so there!

Thanks to Anis for forwarding email to me. Some of the grammar was corrected by me. I also added explanations (in italic) for some of the local terms used. Clearly this email was written by Chinese fella, most probably from Singapore. The 'Kiasu' -ness, was quite evident in the writing. The fact that he talked about Singapore second after Hong Kong, indicates that he does not want to be to obvious. Also, notice how he mostly makes fun of Malaysia. What a Bitch Ass! Its no wonder why we hate you so....

Don't you just love Lindsay Lohan?

2007-06-24T15:11:00.000+08:00

I must say I am a little bit unsure on my opinions about Lindsay. The first time I saw her was in her breakout Disney movie, The Parent Trap (1998) where she played twins. Her performance was simply brilliant as I thought there were two actresses. Her acting ability is not in question and her recent films are evidence of this. I initially wondered if freckles on her body would get worse as she grew up because honestly, she could have gone either way. This obviously is not the case as she blossomed into quite a vixen. Lindsay was voted #10 on the list of "100 Sexiest Women 2006" by readers of FHM. Maxim placed her at #3 on its 2006 Hot 100 list as well. This year, Lindsay placed at #1 on the Maxim "Hot 100". Her entry on the list can be seen here.

Lindsay is portrayed as a "party girl" who frequented clubs with Nicole Richie and Paris and Nicky Hilton, among others ("people [say], 'Oh, she goes out and she parties,'" Lindsay said. "No, we are just going out and having fun."), while accidental exposures to paparazzi brought repeated rumors of breast enhancement ("they're real though," she asserted). Lindsay later lampooned the various rumors on Saturday Night Live.

The latest scandal involving her are these eye-popping pictures of Lindsay and Vanessa Minnillo posing provocatively with knives making their way to the Internet.

The pictures were taken last year in June after a night of partying in New York. They were both pretty wasted and probably thought it was a great idea to take pictures posing with knives and pulling at each other's tops. Now Vanessa Minnillo is ashamed of these pictures and worries that they will hurt her career.

Anyway, love her or hate her, you can't help but be interested to know what will happen next with Lindsay Lohan. She seems to have succeeded on shedding her Disney image. I for one am still unsure which one I like better. Good Lindsay or Bad Lohan? But then again, whats not to like? Smokes, booze, boobs, knives, lesbians and a suggestive nature... its all good stuff.

I just can't wait to see if little Emma Watson a.k.a Harry Potter's Hermione Granger will follow suit. We can only hope. >>>

Indiana Jones 4 - Sure or not, Mr. Ford?

2007-06-22T23:58:00.000+08:00

The fourth installment of the Indiana Jones movies is currently filming, directed by Steven Spielberg and produced by George Lucas, and today there is a first look of the now 65-year-old Harrison Ford as Indy. IndianaJones.com says:

For the first time since 1989, Harrison Ford dons the familiar costume on
Thursday, June 21, 2007, as the upcoming Indiana Jones adventure begins
production under the direction of Steven Spielberg. The new Indiana Jones movie
is set in the 1950s and stars Shia LaBeouf, Cate Blanchett, John Hurt, Ray
Winstone and Jim Broadbent. The Lucasfilm Ltd. production will be released by
Paramount Pictures worldwide on May 22, 2008.

At least he doesn't look 65, but he sure as hell doesn't look like he could bull-whip my ass either. There seems to be a trend of sorts. All these old action heroes, going back and re-doing these films that made them famous. Reliving their youth? Maybe. First it was Stallone, with Rocky 6, then Bruce with Die Hard 4, also lets not forget, coming soon, Rambo 4.. yup Rambo 4. And now Indy 4. This film without a doubt has the be made, but think they have left it a decade too late. Thank god Connery isn't in it or else it be like too old fellas dragging their saggy scrotum's across a cave floor looking for some lost idol-thingy or something. I do however, hope that it will be action packed and worthy of a place in my DVD collection.

Thinking more about it, I think my problem is not so much that Harrison is 65, but more of the fact that he is with Calista 'Ally McBeal' Boney-Ass Flockheart. Damn, she gives me the shits. I hated her as Ally McBeal and I hate her as a celebrity. I really like to drown her in a pool of her own puke. Hey! That gives me idea for a post, BiskutNaga's Top ten women that truly sucks.... hmmm... I'll get on it.

Malaysian Airlines horror story

2007-06-19T13:12:00.000+08:00

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine and was horrified at ordeal he experienced flying Malaysian Airlines.

First off, my friend is an Australian. He recently married a lovely Chinese Malaysian lady and now have a son bearly 10 months old. They now live in Malaysia. On his recent trip to Melbourne, he had requested for the seats right up front which supports a baby Bassinet. Anyway, Airline policy states that you cannot actually book those seats, but under normal circumstances, if you are with an infant, you will be placed in those seats. On the way over, the flight was full and the ticketing person was NOT at all accommodating. However, they still managed to rearrange passengers so that my friend and his family got those seats. But not until they actually boarded mind you. But that's not the real drama.

The real shit happened on their return flight. Once again, during check in, the Mas Ground manager was most arrogant (an Australian himself mind you). He insisted that my friend shut the hell up and just take the seats given. No discussions. My friend was still patient, once he got on the plane, the steward didn't even want to listen to his request and simply pointed to rear section. Ok, so they are almost at the second last row, a stewardess, probably on her monthly women's cycle, told my friend to take his seat as he is blocking the aisle. "How is my wife suppose to get in her window seat and in any case, who am I blocking? everyone is seated.". At this point, the stewardess, said in Malay, "we have another rude white man". Unlucky for her, my friend understands, having lived in Malaysia for years, and told her not to be rude. This angered her even more and she stormed off to tell the chief steward. Next, the rude Ground manager from before came on board only to shove a printout, "Look sir! YOU DID NOT REQUEST those seats, and you are WRONG, sit down and stop being an 'unruly' passenger!". Further dispute arose when my friend tried to call his travel agent, at this point, the manager threaten to throw him off the plane for using a mobile on a plane. Next thing you know, airport security came on board, and said he had to leave the plane on the orders of the Captain. Obviously, details were not disclosed to him, just simply that there was an unruly passenger on board.

At the terminal, four police officers were waiting. After explaining that all he wanted was a seats for his baby, even the police found no reason this has happen to my friend. In fact, the police also were confused as to why this was all happeing to my friend. Then the manager came out and cried out "why haven't you cuffed him?". He shoved my friend a boarding pass for a later flight (9 hours later), and said "why don't you write a letter of complaint if you are unhappy!". Meanwhile, my friend's wife was crying all the way back to Kuala Lumpur. Even the other passengers where also left confused. She was told that the ground staff would help her on her arrival at KLIA. Not even. She had to carry the son, 3 carry-on bags, and collect the luggage that included a golf set, ALL BY HERSELF.

At no point did my friend raise his voice, swear or threaten anyone throughout. He is not even a tourist and is considered to be a Malaysian resident. And yet, something like this has happened to him. If was me, I would have lost it, long ago. My friend has written a 5 page letter of complaint, but I doubt he will get compensation for this. A free one-way fight to Tibet, maybe, then again would he fly Malaysian Airlines again? If he can help it, NO.

Malaysians have still a lot to learn about customer service. I do not think these Airline staff realize how their actions effect how tourist view our country. They are the first people, foreigners come in contact with, and WE should always put our best foot forward at all times. 2007 is suppose to be Visit Malaysia Year, and we definitely are not prepared for it. I think there are many that don't know, don't care, or worse, know, but could not give a rat's ass about it. Malaysian Airlines have gone from one of the top 5 airlines in the world to dead last in my book.

What a crying shame. But judging from stories like these, I don't think they care.

First Review for the new Transformers movie

2007-06-15T13:07:00.000+08:00

Transformers the Movie will not be out here in Asia not for another few weeks, although I read somewhere that it will be shown here in Malaysia one week before the scheduled 1st of July because the rampant piracy. I don't see how though, as showing it earlier would mean that the pirated DVDs will hit the streets of Istambul one week earlier too.

Last night however, I did go to see Fantastic Four Rise of the Silver Surfer, and my review is short and sweet.... IT SUCKED... it sucked balls..... crap .... and crap. Its only a little bit better than the first movie, which isn't saying much seeing as that sucked so bad that anything else was going to be a step up.

After months of speculation, someone has actually seen it. This is what Dome22 (taken from http://www.aintitcool.com/) had to say about The Transformers. I shall reserve my comments until after I've seen the movie myself. But it is looking good.... read on..

Before going into specific details about positives I shall address the negatives which are escorted here in inverted commas for the sheer fact that it never once hindered this experience for me. Now, some will claim that the first two are pretty big negatives but when you have giant robots dancing around said negatives, I raise my shoulders, close my eyes, turn my head slightly right and exclaim, meh;

1. First up, and this includes a detailed plot summary; I had NO IDEA what the hay was going on here. Ever. The whole movie. I looked around to my mates who had the exact same look on their faces I don't know what is going on but I am loving it so much the sides of my mouth will soon bleed from the smiling! I think it had something to do with a cube that may or may not be a bad influence on the XBOX 360 community.

2. Second negative was one of things that adversely affected the latter two of the threquel efforts this year over-crowding. There is pretty much only two human leads in this movie but dozens of supporting players to drop bits of exposition in between the stomping and driving and giant smack downs. These characters are usually quirky, funny or unusual (Jon Voights secretary of Defence gives Harrison Ford's Mr. President a run for his money in the useful department) in any number of ways and most get their moment in the sun. This may be the first movie that Bernie Mac didn't annoy me but this may also be the first movie he only had eight lines. There are way too many more to mention individually. John Turturro
Criminal girls are HOT! Thank you, God
3. One CG shot. Yep, I'm scraping the barrel. This CG man may have been pretty bad but once he gets flicked off screen I laughed and forgot my troubles with a big cup of warm smash-em-ups!

4. The small gremlin-bot. Stupid and pointless. My only true gripe about the whole movie.
Specific positives;
1. Michael Bay. I'm sure all the plot information was actually featured and repeat viewings would render my number one complaint redundant (except for Sector 7, the most powerful arm of the government that has no power) but this film moves with such g-force gusto, I couldn't care less. This is the most fun I've had in a cinema without Paul Ruebens (I like to stay up to date)

2. The action. There are so many individual action set pieces I can't and won't tell you. EVERY SINGLE ONE of them is a winner, even the annoying gremlin-bot. The first time Barricade transforms on-screen brought the house down. This was early on and we were treated to many, many more structure descending moments.

3. The Decepticons.
These guys are just too school for cool! I was induced to several joygasms, specifically the first time they assemble as a team appearing on screen in radio communiqué announcing they are on the way with something like Bonecrusher, en route! (in alien transcribed-to-English subtitle). This was a toy commercial brought to lovely life. I love that at the end of this sequence they all announce All hail Megatron!

4. The end city based action sequences. Easily the best thing to appear on screen since three T-Rexs went primal a few years back.

5. The score. Steve Jablonsky delivered a thumping great score and is possibly the sole reason gremlin-bot is tolerable.

6. CG. Flawless in every respect (except for point 3 in the negatives). Michael has come a long way since the blurred pixels of Armageddon. I think the biggest compliment I can pay ILM for this is that not once during the movie did I stop and think Wow, great CG! It worked perfectly in hand with the story and action like it should. Very impressed!

7. Meagan Fox. Too sexy to continue typing with one hand.

8. Shia Le Beof. Great in the lead. Very funny, dramatically convincing and
charismatic. He worked well to hold his own against his metallic co-stars. I
don't want to over-sell this and come off all leafy but this, for me is an instant classic of mega-proportions (I just over-sold it, didnt I?)! I just won't believe that any true Transformers fan could sit through this and not be anything but blown anyway. This IS a Transformers movie!

Exciting times ahead indeed....

Berocca, Does it work?

2007-06-13T23:03:00.000+08:00

And now a word from our sponsor.... Berocca Stay sharp Effervescent tablets.

Just a side note, I just love the word EFFERVESCENT.. try using it in a sentence today..

ef·fer·vesce (ěf'ər-věs') Pronunciation Key intr.v. ef·fer·vesced, ef·fer·vesc·ing, ef·fer·vesc·es
- To emit small bubbles of gas, as a carbonated or fermenting liquid.
- To escape from a liquid as bubbles; bubble up.
- To show high spirits or animation or GAY.

Berocca is tailored specifically for those with hectic lifestyles, Berocca helps you to stay at your best and get the most out of the day ahead.

This is what the commercial says.....
Why take Berocca? Berocca is a high dose formulation of essential vitamins and minerals, which can help you to stay sharp. Tailored specifically for those with hectic lifestyles, Berocca helps you to stay at your best and get the most out of the day ahead. It is also free from artificial stimulants, so offers you a health way to stay sharp. Berocca is also suitable for vegetarians.

Drop the tablet into a glass of water to make a delicious orange flavour effervescent drink. Berocca is best taken first thing in the morning to make the most of the day ahead and can be taken every day throughout the year.

Well alright.... sounds good enough...

So? Does it really work? To test, I drank a whole tubes worth. And now I feel like shit. Worse than when I crashed my motorcycle and landed on my head! I think I'm sick. WAIT! Am I not suppose to put more than one at a time? I did find it weird that the glass started overflowing like a science project gone wrong. My stomach is so full of gas now.. ah, crap... hurry man... FART.... BURP... please.. What in the hell!!

I downloaded this award winning commercial quicktime and I sure as hell didn't see any fizzy orange thing behind me.. Or does this shit only work on women? Hang on a sec! let me read the label again.. nope, its suppose to work. Maybe if I were gay.. would I then be able to see a prancing orange fizz fruitcake jump into me? Or at least feeling like one after? Who knows.

In short, Berocca is yet another bullshit feel-good-about-yourself-drink that is as good as a punch in the face. What a load of horse shit.

Spiderman Malaysia

2007-06-11T12:00:00.000+08:00

This picture also shows the lengths Malaysians will go for humor.
It also shows how much free time have..
But sadly, this also illustrates how Malaysians are best at taking or copying someone elses idea, change it slightly and call it there own... shish...

Incidentally, this picture was sent to Sam Raimi for his consideration for Spiderman 3 but was rejected, obviously.

Joke Time!

2007-06-01T16:52:00.000+08:00

Its that time again for a little wee joke... So enjoy... Thanks to Andrea for emailing it to me. I dont normally read jokes forwarded to me, but this made me chuckle. I thought this one was worth posting for its sexist undertones that are in line with the philosophy that is Jinggez! I also include this picture (right) of Pamela Anderson's cleavage - just for more shits and giggles! She is trying to be funny.. look .. her T-shirt says Google... get it? As in her two massive mounds of love are the 'o's of Goo-gle.. Smart and well thought out.

Anyway.....

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in Melbourne, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more." So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited

Boy do I know how to pick 'em!

2007-05-30T21:23:00.000+08:00

Ex-EastEnders star Michelle Ryan set for
massive success as Bionic Woman!

Can I have the luxury of saying 'I told you so!' ? Last year, in my post 'BiskutNaga's Best of Women 2006', I listed Michelle Ryan at number 9. Most commented and asked "who the hell is she??". I knew Jennifer Connelly was gonna be huge, since the Labyrinth (1986), when nobody liked her, and then she won an Oscar for Best Actress in a Supporting Role for: A Beautiful Mind (2001). Anyway for those who won't click on the link above, this is what i wrote:-

Number 9:- MICHELLE RYAN (The Next Best UK export after Zeta Jones)
Honestly, I don't know much about her and I've never seen an episode of Eastenders, I just stumbled across her picture while surfing the net one day and thought she was gorgeous. Michelle Ryan is a television actress who was born in Enfield, Middlesex on the 22 April 1984. Michelle has appeared Eastenders, Cashback, Comic Relief, Burnside, The Worst Witch, Fair Is Foul & Fouls Are Fair to mention a few. She is hot. I predict she will be the next Catherine Zeta. So look out for her.

I predicted back in September 2006 that she will be the next big thing in Hollywood, and here is proof that I am right! Hah! So booooo to all those who thought I was mad...

Seen here in the first images released of her in the role, Ryan will play Jamie Sommers, a tennis pro who suffers a near-fatal skydiving accident before her body is transformed with £25million worth of bionic wizardry. The actress best known for her role as Zoe Slater in EastEnders beat off stiff competition from Hollywood actresses to land the role. US TV bosses are so pleased with the pilot, they have commissioned a series which will be shown later this year.

In stills from the show Ryan can be seen leaping from tall buildings, and engaging in martial arts style fighting in the driving rain. Producers say the pilot show for US network NBC will be a "re-imagination" of the original, a spin-off from cult hit The Six Million Dollar Man, which ran from 1976 to 1978 and starred Lindsay Wagner.

An unknown in the US, except maybe to EastEnders fans, the London-born actress has been quietly working to establish a career for herself in Hollywood. Ryan has also starred in feature film "I Want Candy" alongside Carmen Electra and upcoming horror movie "Flick" with Faye Dunaway.

Once again... HAH!... I TOLD YOU SO!

My XBOX 360 just got BANNED!

2007-05-23T13:08:00.000+08:00

Its not enough that I've been using Microsoft products since the death of the Apple 2 C and the Commodore 64, way back in the 80s! I have used DOS, WINDOWS, WINDOWS 3.11, Windows 98, Windows 98 SE, Windows Millennium, Windows XP and NOW Vista. All of which I have paid good money for mind you. Now you have banned me from playing on XBox Live. DAMN YOU BILL GATES!! As if you are not rich enough.. Microsoft, you cock ass of a company.

Console hackers: beware! Microsoft has officially taken the hard line on hacked consoles connecting to Xbox Live. According to the Xbox's Gamerscore blog, henceforth when a modded console is detected on the Live network, users can expect to have their account auto-banned, and their console permanently disabled from the system. Damn. Granted, we can't really fault Xbox for trying to keep cheating between gamers on the level, but anything that so actively deincentivizes people from toying around with their own hardware is a serious bummer.

Ok ok, yes I modified my console. And yes it facilitates piracy but from Microsoft stand point, haven't you already profited from when I bought the console? Not to mention the fact that I subscribe i.e PAY YOU for the Online Live feature? Microsoft makes a few titles themselves, so I don't think that equates to much of loss in revenue, does it?

I don't really understand this strategy.. if its about piracy, then this doesn't stop it as you are still able to play pirated games. Its just that you can't go online anymore. For most gamers in Asia, going online is not that important. Hell, countries like Indonesia don't even have broadband yet. If anything, Microsoft will lose out in Xbox Live subscriptions.

For me now, I am stuck with the dilemma of waiting to see if the Hackers of the world can find a way around this problem? Or do I swallow my pride and purchase yet another console, this time UN-modified, solely to play a FEW titles and pay full price so that I can play online with my friends?

What ever it is, damn you, bastard Jew bitches! I hope you choke on swallowing all your money!

Women of Yesteryear No.11

2007-05-22T02:15:00.000+08:00

This post is specially for a friend of mine who after reading my blog, messaged me and insisted, at 2 in the morning, that I include Erin Grey in my top 10 list. Going so far as to have me 'bump the bond chick off' and replace her with Erin. This is my compromise. She was considered my shortlist originally but was not included because her pictures reminded me of my cousin. Shish!! Anyway, here you go.

Number 11:- Erin Grey (the future babe)

Erin was known for her role of Wilma Deering in Buck Rogers in the 25th Century - at first for a theatrically released movie, then for a recurring TV show. Gray's trim, shapely figure, augmented by a tight one piece jumpsuit, was popular with the show's predominantly young male audience. However, the character was high profile within the show, second only to Gil Gerard in the lead role, and represented one of the early examples of a strong female character in a science fiction setting; because of this she was seen as important role model for female viewers. She once told an interviewer, “I was the first female colonel. I enjoyed being that kind of role model for young women watching the show. A woman can be a colonel! A woman can be in charge! Those were new ideas then. Ah whatever!

BiskutNaga's Top 10 Women of Yesteryear

2007-05-03T11:09:00.000+08:00

The time has come for a top ten list! Here is my list of the hottest women that i have had a crush on when I was a wee lad. Most of these women are old and grey, some are dead. But lets not focus on that, lets remember them as they were. At their prime. Try to imagine that they are your age, single, in-to-you and sitting right next to you reading this blog with you, with their arms around you. Makes it more fun rather than look up where are they now and being horrified to see how some have not aged gracefully or worse, dead. So please don't judge me. Let's enjoy. Once again, I prefer not to place them in any particular order, but for the sake of a 'top ten' list, I will try.

Number 10:- Maren Jensen (the original interstellar babe)

Maren best known for portraying Athena in the 1970s television series Battlestar Galactica. I use to think she was the hottest babe on television. I always wondered what happen to her after Battlestar. I never saw her in anything else. Apparently, Maren was one of the first Hollywood Actors to get sick with Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome. The illness contributed to her leaving the acting profession. That figures. In any case, we remember you, Maren.

Number 9:- Joan Severance (B-Movie babe of choice)

Joan usually takes the femme fatale roles in lower budget horror and murder mystery movies, most notably Lake Consequence (1993), Criminal Passion (1994) and Payback (1995). She memorably featured alongside Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder in the 1989 comedy See No Evil, Hear No Evil. I particularly remember a shower scene in that movie, I would pause and slow-mo the video tape over and over. She was hot and had a killer body. Joan was on the covers of the January 1990 and November 1992 issues of Playboy magazine, both featuring her in a nude pictorial. Her pictures are considered some of the most distinctive examples of nude modeling of an actresses of her generation.

Number 8:- Morgan Fairchild (80s super-biatch)

Fairchild is unique in the sense that she has never had a starring role in a successful film or television series. She cultivated an image through her glamor as well as her extremely professional and courteous personality. Quite a contrast from the "divas" she tends to portray. In 1982 she played Jamie Douglas, a newscaster, in the sexy thriller The Seduction, where her riveting nude scene cemented her position as one of Hollywood's bad girls. Growing up, she was the 'older woman' that I wish would corner me in a room at a party and seduce me. Teach me in the ways of love. Sadly that never happened. Oh well.

Number 7:- Karen Velez (all time favorite playmate)

She was Playboy's Playmate of the Month for December 1984 and became the Playmate of the Year in 1985. Velez was the first Puerto Rican Playboy Playmate of the Year as well as the first Puerto Rican Playmate of the Month to be featured in the magazine in chronologically consecutive order after another Hispanic Playmate of the Month. I believe I first saw her in a playmate centerfold video. Man, did that tape change my world. Till this day, I don't think there has ever been another playmate quite like her. Of course, this is just my opinion. I'm sure you have your favorite. Pamela? Jenny? Anna Nicole? Nah. Just Karen thanks.

Number 6:- Kelly LeBrock (fantasy girl come-to-life)

Kelly is known for her acting debut in The Woman in Red, and later on in the film, Weird Science. Weird Science is one of the best 80's comedy that was ever made. It's a corny, dated quality but one that is tangible and valued by my fellow eighties loving fans to this day. What more could a day dreaming boy like me ask for? The ability to make your dream girl. Cut out and scan female body parts from magazines. Then have the computer make a woman come to life. Genius. Oh I love her English accent. I think she is the reason I find British women so attractive. Classy.

Number 5:- Pam Dawber (the Mindy to my Mork)

Her character was the comedic foil and eventual love interest for Robin Williams' character, Mork from the planet "Ork". As any boy growing up in the 80s, I my think self esteem was low, not to mention insecure about girls. For me I think it was the fact Pam's charcter Mindy loved Mork no matter what. Robin Williams isn't the most stunning man, but he was funny. Mindy loved Mork for the person inside and that's why she was so attractive to me. With a girl like this, you can be yourself, fart, and she'll still love you.

Number 4:- Amanda Pays (hot homebase computer babe)

Just to make my point about hot women from England, here is Amanda Pays. Pays is best known for her roles as Theora Jones in the movie and television series Max Headroom and as Christina "Tina" McGee in The Flash. Those smoking, longing eyes made the Flash run back to home base ever so quickly. She represents the typical 'I'm the hot yet innocent but am also smart because I'm English' type women of Hollywood typecasting. Winner.

Number 3:- Phoebe Cates (the bring home to mom girlfriend)

Phoebe Cates best known for her roles in several teen films, most notably Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Gremlins. At the height of her popularity, Harper's Bazaar named her as one of America's 10 Most Beautiful Women of 1984. Her later roles were more modest and largely oriented toward younger audiences, who remember her best as the female lead in the two Gremlins films. Her face made the covers of teen magazines such as Seventeen, Tiger Beat, Teen Beat and others. When you talk about the 80s and the women that impacted our lives in TV and film, Phoebe Cates must be one of them. She certainly was for me.

Number 2:- Carole Bouquet (best bond chick ever)

Carole Bouquet is a French actress best known internationally as Bond girl Melina Havelock in For Your Eyes Only. Without a doubt, Carole was and is the best James Bond chick ever. When she says "for your eyes only james" at the end of the movie, I felt almost angry at Roger Moore for being so lucky to be in that scene with her. Bouquet was a model for Chanel in the 1990s. Oh my goodness was she hot.

Number 1:- Isabella Rossellini (ultimate hot woman of yesteryear)

Just check out her full name. Its Isabella Fiorella Elettra Giovanna Rossellini. She is a child of cinema royalty. Her mother, actress Ingrid Bergman, starred in Casablanca, For Whom the Bell Tolls, and Hitchcock's Spellbound. Her father, Roberto Rossellini, was an Italian screenwriter, director, and producer. From 1982-96, she was the celebrity face of Lancôme cosmetics, but the company ended the arrangement, fearing that Rossellini was too old to be seen as attractive. She has continued making films, including Wild at Heart with Nicolas Cage and Wyatt Earp with Kevin Costner. She has also played the fierce aunt Katya on TV's Alias with Jennifer Garner. Chosen by People magazine as one of the 50 Most Beautiful People in the world two years in a row 1990 and 1991. Enough said.

Seung-Hui Cho, serve you right America!

2007-04-23T16:01:00.000+08:00

This is not Seung-Hui Cho by the way.

BANG! BANG! One crazy ass Korean lost the plot and shot a whole bunch people. Many dead. This has left the American people dazed, confused, angered and sad. Its bad enough they are afraid to get on a plane with 'Ahmed Bin Laden', now they can't even go to school for fear some crazy fool will go buck wild and open fire. First let me this clear, I do not condone Cho's actions nor do I think he is justified in anyway whatever his reasons may have been. After reading the various news articles about the shooting, here is my 2 cents.

America is looking to point the finger. Who is to be blamed for this great injustice? Who is at fault? How can they prevent this from happening? I blame the country itself. The United States of America, land of the free. Liberty and justice for all. The American dream. You and your goddamn American citizen rights and shit. How bout you point that finger on yourselves before blaming others. First and foremost you allowed his refuge parents to gain citizenship to begin with. So don't be mad at their 'born in the USA' kid who was simply enjoying his 'freedom'. Land of the free remember? It was your silly gun laws, inline with your liberty/freedom policies, that has lead to this. He was free to enter a pawn shop and buy a gun, then wait a couple of weeks to buy another gun. Hell, if he wanted to go Duck hunting, he could have walked in to WalMart and buy a hunting rifle WITHOUT having to wait. AND PLUS, this Cho fella bought his gun magazines on Ebay.com for gods sake! Enough said.

If you owned a gun, wouldn't you eventually use it? If you say, "no, I will never actually use it,", then aren't you just being silly? Whats the point of owning a gun then? To point it and hope the bad guy runs away? If that's the case, why not just buy those replica handguns that shoots out BB pallets and looks like the real thing. Safe and will get the job done. Guns are made to end life. Period. Guns, put in the hand of any half crazy dick-head like Cho, spells trouble. In all of history, nothing good has ever come from guns apart for making tons of money for people who sell them. You want to do something about this America? Change your gun laws. Ban them. Get them off the streets. That's all.

When I heard about this on the news, I was relieved it was an Asian-type fella, like a Korean. I said "Thank god it wasn't an Arab ". Can you imagine the shit that would have happen then? America invades Jordan perhaps? But wait! now it seems this Cho fella had a tattoo on his forearm with 'Ismail Ax' which is his video game alter-ego name. Suddenly paranoid America and 'the powers' that be, is trying to spin the story to terrorism. Suddenly, this Korean boat fucker is a Muslim and a Terrorist with links to Uzbekistan! "Could the Ax in Ismail Ax, be shorthand for the name Ahmed?" say media reports. Insane in the membrane! Insane in the brain!

Please la, its nobody's fault but your own, America. Its all ways your fault. Just go open any history book. Serve you right.

My sister's room of death

2007-04-16T15:38:00.000+08:00

Every so often I would venture into my sister's room just to see what she is up to. For me its like walking into some kind of alternate universe or some kind of twilight zone even. For starters, the room is not your typical square or rectangle in its layout. Its got a zig-zag wall on one side and french doors on the other. Quite bizarre if you ask me. As if that wasn't enough, her bed would sometimes be placed on an angle across the room, just to 'off set' things it seems. Oh my god, lets not forget the beads. Oh yes the beads. A curtain of Balinese ornamental jewels divides the room to create a 'walk in wardrobe' of sorts. An ode to 70's interior design? Perhaps, only my sister knows whats going on there.

"Get me out of here! "

Lets not forget the 'all-of-sudden-its-blue-its-green' bathroom, with a glass tabletop wash basin that has edges so sharp that one slip and you can kiss your wet naked life goodbye. Oh and recently the roof caved in from shoddy workmanship and heavy rain, that it now looks like it was designed that way to begin with. Oddly enough it now fits the whole warped feel of the bedroom. Yea!

Now for some reason, my sister does not strive to make the room comfortable for guests, the room is 'tuned' for her comfort, and rightly so I suppose, but come on. The room does not provide me with a feeling of chill. Maybe this is by design because she needs 'her space', like all Leos do. I can't even properly throw myself on the bed without a fear of breaking the one of a kind wire framed bed. She has satin-type sheets which makes the pillows swish and slide off the bed. This in turn, results in me not being able to lie down properly and place a pillow under my head without straining my neck as I try to 'grip' the pillow with my hair. I would of course sit on the near by dressing table chair but alas, its wooden, hard, and makes my ass feel like someone has been hitting it with a sledgehammer.

The room has four nuclear powered halogen lights that converge into one blinding spot on the bed, so even if you try to relax, it feels like you sunbathing. Beware to those wearing glasses, your eyeballs may spontaneously combust. The heat from the lights is conveniently mixed with lack of oxygen in the room. The lack of moving air is evident as there is no ceiling fan for those lazy Sunday afternoons. Prolonged conversations will cause light headiness and heart beat spasms. It feels like you are perpetually drowning. And God forbid you suggest to switch the air-conditioner on, that's not 'natural'.

When I complained to my sister about all of the above, she says, "Its like training yourself". An explanation that is so characteristic of her and her unique ways. It is simple yet deep in meaning. The room is like a one big 'only for me' domain and everyone else can keep the hell out. Or in this case me. I just can't help but feel that its all meant to be. She is definitely smarter than people give her credit for and like all Leo's, requires you to simply understand and allow.

The most annoying question of all time

2007-04-06T13:10:00.000+08:00

"Hey, how are things?"

One of the most common greetings of modern times. A question that is both vague and at the same time obtrusive. Why the hell does one ask such a rhetorical question anyway? Do you really care how things are doing with the other person? And if so, what of it? When answering a question like this, how much do you tell or How much don't you tell? What happens when too much information has passed and an embarrassing situation arises?

Say for instance, "Hey, how are things?" Answer, "Things are bad, I am having a stomach ache and I need to take a big shit, I predict it will be a shit that will be both soft and very liquid. Also my cat died in my toilet, the smell is quite rank. I will however persevere non the less. Oh and my wife slept with her boss too. Thanks for asking.". So now the person who asked the question in the first place is left bewildered and feeling like shit. He has had a shitty day, that is how things are going for him.

*Ceiling Cat appears courtesy of the shoddyblog

What about the flip side? "Hey, how are things?" Answer, "Things are awesome, I just made my first billion and I'm looking to sink the 50 foot yacht I bought last week because some sad fool's cat died in the toilet and shat on it, So now I want to buy a new one. But first I have to ask my super model girlfriend if she and her model friends want to fly to Monte Carlo with me to pick out a new yacht and go for a test drive. Oh excuse me while I get rid of these pesky 20 dollar notes. I hate small change." What a bastard. But you can't blame him for answering that way, he is happy and rich, that is how things are going with him. You asked didn't you?
So there is no real point in asking this annoying question. Either way, the answer is of no consequence to you.

So I ask you again... why ask the question at all?

Dry Australian Humor - 'Qantas Gripe Sheet'

2007-03-31T22:01:00.000+08:00

One of the things I miss most about Australia was the extremely dry humor of Australians. I miss good old school days when the fellas and I, at 'The Flat', use to joke around. This email I received reminded me of those days. I thought I might post so, here.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then the pilots review the gripe sheets right before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some of the actual maintenance complaints submitted by the Qantas' pilots (as marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (as marked with an S) by the maintenance engineers. By the way, it is relevant to note that Qantas is the only major airline in the world that has never, ever, had an accident!

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in the cockpit.
S: Something tightened in the cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of a leak on the right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume reset to a more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: The number 3 engine is missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after a brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

And the best one saved for last......

P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from the midget.

Ahhhhhhhhh Good times long gone................. ay Beef?

American Idol Season 6 Sucks Ass!

2007-03-30T10:12:00.000+08:00

As you may or may not know, I am a big Idol fan. Last year, I raved on about Katharine McPhee and how insanely hot she was and still is. Last season, the top 12 singers were outstanding with anyone of them having a real chance of winning. In the end the grey haired Taylor Hicks won the votes over Kat. Oh well, still it was an awesome season. I even joined the Katharine McPhee fan club. What a sicko I am. In the end her album isn't that good anyway but that's a whole other blog entry.

This season however has not created much excitement in me. One reason being there isn't a McPhee-type beauty. Jordin Sparks catches my eye but her voice is not as good as Kat's. The guys all suck this season. Maybe that Justine Timberlake copycat has a chance. Its all down to votes. Speaking of votes, does anyone wonder why that Sanjaya Malakar the Indian fruitcake is still in it? I tell you why, one word, 'outsourcing'. There must be a million Indian I.T and outsourcing people in the states voting their asses off for this guy who is by far the worst finalist Idol has ever seen.

If you talk about world class singers there are only 2, Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones. Whether one of them will win, is still unknown. At the end of the day, although this is a singing competition, the best singer doesn't always win. Americans vote for who they like. Taylor was a lovable guy and you can't help but want him to win. Was he a technically better singer than Kat? No. So this year its all up for grabs. I will still tune in to see what happens, but NOT religiously this time round I'm affraid. Oh and here is another picture of Kat, just in case you forgot.

This picture was taken as she was leaving my house some time last week.... in the morning.